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Beginner February 2023 South West London

Family issues

Smiles1234, 24 August, 2022 at 12:47 Posted on Off Topic Posts 1 6

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Hi all! Wondering if anyone can give me some advice

My fiancé and I have been together for almost 6yrs and this June he proposed to me 💍
We now would like to start planning our wedding however we seem to have a problem!!
I want my mum to give me away as she’s been there for me all my life… however my mum finds that weird and wants me to have my stepdad give me away! However I don’t think that’s a good idea , here’s why- the short version haha 😂
My stepdad stopped talking to my partner for 2years and banned him from their house over something so stupid - as my partner asked him to stop my stepdads daughter from throwing food over him (his daughter was 9yrs at the time)
So he blocked my partner on all social media, wasn’t allowed to have my partner round the house and he also stopped my mum talking to him.
When I moved out 2yrs ago my stepdad and mum finally started talking to my partner but never got an apology and it’s still not 100%!
Am I wrong and cruel not wanting my stepdad to give me away?
Me and my partner was also thinking to avoid stress is to get married in vegas just us two and have a party when we get back for family and friends, but then my mum and stepdad would get annoyed at that also lol.
My fiancés family are happy with whatever we decide
Any advice haha 😂 thanks x

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Latest activity by Michelle, 27 August, 2022 at 09:10

Expert July 2023 Cornwall
Anonbride · 24 August, 2022 at 13:45
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Oh my gosh 100% would not have the step dad!!!

I think you should leave step dad out of it, and talk to your mum again - explain how important she is to you and how much you’d love it if she gave you away. If she still says no, respect that but don’t agree to step dad just say something like: “that’s a shame you don’t feel comfortable giving me away, I’ll have a think about what I might like to do instead”
Have a separate think about your plan B person - do you have a close immediate family member or friend you might ask? Grandad or brother or something? OR how would you feel about walking yourself down the aisle or FH walking down with you?
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Beginner February 2023 South West London
Smiles1234 · 24 August, 2022 at 21:43
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Hey Chloe

Hope you are well!
Thanks for your advice, I’m glad you agree with me as I started feeling like I was a horrible person haha 😂
I have a very small family it’s only me, my sister and my mum and stepdad…. Maybe if my mum doesn’t want to I could ask my sister… or if the venue allows dogs I’ll walk down it with my little dog haha 😂 x
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VIP April 2022 Wiltshire
Charlotte · 25 August, 2022 at 10:29
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Regardless of what has gone on, it is your day, so you should do what you want. if your Mum says no then you can say to her that whilst she suggest stepdad, at the end of the day you want her, as she is your Mum and it is nothing against him but you want a blood relative and hope she can respect your choice. if she doesn't want to do it then say that is fine, and if it were me, I would walk myself down the aisle as he was never a consideration. Maybe she will see it different if you explain it that way. Good Luck, welcome the joys of family and wedding planning!
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Genius July 2020 Monmouthshire
RomanticGreenStationery27135 · 26 August, 2022 at 16:25
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You absolutely must have someone you want to be with you to walk you down the aisle. You need to be around people who make you feel calm and safe as you are preparing to get married, not be with someone who makes you uncomfortable.
If your mum wont' do it, have you thought about walking down the aisle with your fiance? That's what we did, and it was lovely. One of my favourite wedding photos is the two of us exchanging excited/nervous smiles as we prepared to walk in!
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Dedicated May 2022
HappyGoldBridesmaid18836 · 27 August, 2022 at 07:16
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My mum gave my sister away so having your mum do it is not unusual at all. It’s completely your choice so do what feels right for you.
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VIP July 2024 Cheshire
Michelle · 27 August, 2022 at 09:10
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Its your day so its about what you bith want your stepdad doesnt deserve the right to give you away if its not been god between then bpth mainly yoyr stepdads problem but remember its about you nobody else x💗
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