Female Usher - What should she wear???

My initial thoughts:

Yep, it's a pretty unusual situation, especially if she isn't happy with it. Is it necessary?

I wouldn't be overly happy at being put in a dark grey dress for a wedding. If you want to glam it up a lot (to avoid her drabbing out), she may well start to look like a MOH in a different coloured dress?

ETA: not saying all grey dresses look drab, it just wouldn't be my choice of colour.

I went to a wedding where there were no male ushers, only female. The bride was a friend of mine and the groom was a guy who she'd met travelling - he was from Tonga. They got married over here and his sister came over to be bridesmaid, but he didn't have any male friends. There were 2 girls who were travelling with her when she met her H, so they were really mutual friends, so they became the usherettes.

They were asked to wear their own black dresses and shoes, but were given lovely wrist corsages to wear.

How about a black dress, but with shoes/accessories in the main wedding colour?

I get the impression she is fine to do it but was disappointed in not being a bridesmaid. I didn't choose her for a BM as my H2B is really close to her and wanted his family to be together on the wedding morning. I thought myself she would look too much like M of the B or M of the G if she wore what ever she wanted plus a buttonhole or similar flower thing....

I'd be highly insulted if someone mistook me for my sisters' mother!

Yes thats true she could wear something purple to match in.... after all the male ushers are wearing a purple ties... maybe a purple shawl???

We are having my H2B's nephew and neice as ushers (both aged over 21) W aren't hiring a suit for him so they will wear what they want to wear as long as it is smart. They will be co-ordinated with the wedding through a buttonhole for him and a wrist corsage for her. We did consider having my friends as Lady ushers (Lushers) at one point as he doesn't trust many members of his family, but then he realised this neice and nephew were older than he thought and they are really pleased to be asked!

Why would she look like MOG or MOB just cos she was in a dress wearing flowers. I was in a dress, wearing a buttonhole at my SIL wedding, I thought it was normal for family to sometimes have buttonholes.

Can't she wear what she wants, but have flowers, but just help out with usher duties? I don't think there is anything she can wear that will make her stand out as an 'Usher' as this is not a normal role for a female, so she can be one, but I dont think there is an outfit that will define it xx

Im not sure if she would feel like part of the grooms party if she wore whatever she wanted as the 3 BMs are the same and the 2 other ushers are the same.... I'm totally not against it but just wanted to hear peoples ideas... as I feel like I am banging my head against a brick wall at mo... lol

We had two female ushers in the end, both close friends of OH (one is his ex-gf but that's another story!)

We gave them the choice of either wearing a dark coloured suit with some kind of purple element to it, or a purple dress that was "not bridesmaidy" (my bridezilla moment!) Both of them went for smart purple dresses and had buttonholes to pin on rather than bouquets.

My female cousin was an usher at my first wedding. My BMs had gold dresses, the men had gold waistcoats and dark grey suits. My cousin wore dark grey trousers, a gold bustier and heels. So feminine but distinct from the BMs.

I was her usher last year and wore a dress that tied in with the men and was different from her BMs. Personally, I think the trousers and co-ordinating top looks better in photos and more usher-like.

What style dresses are the bridesmaids wearing? Could you get in a grey that is a similar colour to the suits and then maybe put a purple sash on it, give her a purple shawl and a corsage? (She could even wear purple shoes as well?

I think that would 'tie her in' with the colour scheme whilst showing that she isn't a bridesmaid?

I had four bridesmaids and three usherettes, and no male ushers.

The bridesmaids wore matching blue dresses and the usherettes wore their own dresses (all opted for blue, but I didn't insist on it). I tied it all together by giving all seven of them matching wrist corsages.

Maybe she could wear a dress in the same/similar colour to your bridesmaids, and similar flowers?

Personally I would let her wear whatever she feels comfortable in and get her a buttonhole/wrist corsage.

Found these pics on google

usher in black dress... more pics of this wedding here

usher in navy... more pics here

best woman....

My sister is giving me away and will be having the same dress as my bridesmaid but in the same colour as the mens suits with a wrist corsage.

As a comparison, this is ushers in what they chose to wear and personaly I don't think that they look like they are part of the wedding party.

sorry cant copy picture.. https://www.flickr.com/photos/39375782@N00/3455786752/

If you didnt want to get a dark coloured dress how about a short version of your bridesmaid dresses for her with a wrist corsage instead of a bouquet?

I think having them in the same colour of the suits that the men will be wearing like SM has suggested would make her feel more like part of the wedding party. The last picture posted above shows that wearing your own smart clothes just doesn't look right.

We're having 2 ladies as ushers, and my other half is intent on them having the same suits as the 'boys' - not entirely sure that we'll be able to get that though! I like the previous idea of matching trousers and bustiers. The girls will probably go for that!

Haven't read the whole thread so sorry if this is now an unecessary reply. My friend had his best female friend as his 'best woman', she wore the same sage green dress and flowers as the bridesmaids. I think she stood at the front with the groom though, and the others obviously came in with the bride. But if she isn't happy then maybe you could find some other role for her, such as witness or doing a reading?