Frustrated with other half

Hey,

I think it's a man thing. I've been getting frustrated with my partner, he's been complaining about the amount of guests and even the ceremony itself, and because he's not a fan of being centre of attention he keeps getting wound up at how many people might be there and keeps asking why are we having so many people - what he forgets is that unfortunately we both have massive families.

Just keep doing what you're doing, men really have no idea on how hard this is to do, they almost seem to thing it will organise itself ? He'll end up being grateful that you are getting ahead of the game rather than becoming a total stress head trying to book everything at the last minute!

View quoted message Hey,


Thank you for that I'm glad its not just mine lol

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It deffo won't be just you! My cousin just got engaged at Christmas, and she has started planning already - I don't think it's every too early to start planning/gather quotes and ideas!

Just keep doing what you're doing, I have no doubt he will come round when he realises how much work needs to be done!

Take care and all the best to your big day!

We are 6 months away and every time i try to discuss it he says 'plenty of time yet' does my nut in but i just carry on and try to plan as much as possible

Hi Anne-Marie,
I'm devastated this week... Our wedding was 14August21 outside of England and we decided to cancel/postpone due to 80% of our guest having to travel internationally, including ourselves. I didn't find the dress and my next appointment would be 4 month before the big day, my family in my home country not able to go too... Everything falling apart. At least in my case, I won't set up a date until we have more assurance regarding travels (not to mention honeymoon ?). Stopping all the searchers, inspiration otherwise will pile up frustration.
XBeca

This post made me smile as it resonated with me. We got engaged Nov 2020, planned wedding for July 2022. I approached some hotel venues before Christmas and they literally had one Saturday left in July 2022 and then put a bit of pressure on to get us to book, we had to have virtual tours when I wanted to visit in person. In the end we did one in person and asked them to hold date which they were good about, then we had to do 2 virtual tours which I really wasn't sure about. One venue also wanted a non refundable (but movable) deposit after the tour. In the end we have booked a different type of venue (a museum) but it was tricky getting availability and a lot of other suppliers are booked up. My OH often uses the phrase "but we have ages for that" so I know how you feel! To be fair he is letting me do most of the research as I am at home working in front of a PC so it is easier as he has a physical outside job so cannot dedicate the time. We have managed to book our venue which will include catering, the registrar and the DJ and I am working on photographer now, one I contacted today said he had already had an enquiry for the same day. So basically my advice is crack on, esp if you have a specific date in mind! Good luck

Loooool this is my partner. Except we are getting married this July. I would dsfo say keep doing what your doing because you are right. People have postponed because of covid and others are planning weddings. He will thank u in the end X

View quoted message Thank you I'm just ignoring him and shoving pictures of cakes etc under his nose and telling him to pick one lol good luck to you x

View quoted message Congrats on this year and yeah he will... they just don't get it.. and I swear if I hear there's ages to go before the wedding once more lol x

View quoted message Maybe take the approach of picking things you like and run them past groom. Upside you don’t get any random/off piste ideas from him ?

This sounds completely like my other half too! We postponed our wedding until May 2022 and I keep being told that there’s “plenty of time”. I’ve had to repeatedly remind him that there will be a lot of people getting married next year!

Katie "working on photographer now, one I contacted today said he had already had an enquiry for the same day."

Really - That is the oldest one in the book = pressure straight away. And should be taken as a warning flag about their practices. On the other hand I am seeing that 2022 has a lot of pressure from weddings moving from this year - most of pre 21st June have moved, also there are those couples who have completely held off since 2020 and no longer want to put the rest of their life plans on hold - like starting a family for instance.

Also come June 21 and there is an announcement that lockdown cannot now be eased as planned I expect those in June and July to want to move to 2022.

"Anne-Marie We aren't getting married until July next year but I am starting to plan now"

In any normal year I would of said not booking suppliers right now for a July wedding would be cutting it a bit fine. Yes you will probably be ok but you limit your chance of securing your first choice.

Yep, resonates with me ? I’ve taken the view that I’ll just barrel ahead with my ideas and research, present them to him for his opinion, and go ahead and book/arrange as needed! That way he gets a say, but I’m not stressing myself that we’re cutting anything fine. My partner does appreciate that 2022 is already getting booked up at least (our bank are already booked up every Friday and Saturday March - September next year ?) so he understands the need to be planning and booking now

Me too. It took him 10 years to propose, and as we are relocating I’ve not been able to do anything until we move, but if we go at his rate we won’t be married until I’m 90 ?.

As soon as we’ve moved I’m starting planning. Given I’d ideally like to get married this year (ha ha yes really!) it’ll be a challenge. Like Natalie I reckon if I give him a couple of options he’ll be on board. Much like I’d offer the option of 2 different cushions or something so he doesn’t have to trek around shops (well, in the good old days!).

Definitely not just yours, mine is the same been engaged 2 years this June our wedding day is 24th sept 2022. What with covid and health problems i have virtually planned everything and he really cant understand why let alone how i have done it. i keep saying the more i do now the less stressed and grumpy i will be closer to the date I think that has swung it with him and has finally started to have an opinion xxx

Oh god i'm getting hives just thinkng about how much there is to plan. Elopement seeming pretty attractive right now!

View quoted message Snap lol he even suggested that the other day lol

YES! Literally the same!! Lost count how many times I’ve moaned! Xo

I got engaged just before Christmas 2020 and we have already started planning and booking things for our July 2023 wedding.


I became really anxious over covid and lockdowns and then worrying about how many weddings would be pushed back because of them that I thought I’d rather just get the ball in motion so I don’t become more stressed when I can’t have the date or things I want.
My fella whinged a bit about it but I think him seeing how many people had to postpone swung it in my favour to just crack on. Now he actively takes part in the planning!

Hiya,


We get married 9 July next year . I’ve (singlehandedly) literally planned nearly EVERYTHING during the last few months because of the reasons you’ve stated. I was panicking the pandemic would put a knock on effect on the wedding industry and we would be left unable to book what we wanted.
I went into panic mode because suppliers were saying they’d had enquiries for the same date as our wedding or they were fully booked. Thankfully, my fiancé lets me get on with everything.
We already had our wedding and reception venue (Rhinefield House Hotel) booked since around June last year . They do all the catering which is helpful.
Ive sent invitations. I’ve now booked my cake, band, photographer, hair and MUA, and Toast Master. I’m toying with the idea of booking a string quartet for the ceremony and drinks reception.I need to book a venue dresser for the final touches but going to wait a bit until I’ve decided how I want the venue to look.
I’ve booked bridal dress appointments for next month for when the boutiques re-open . I’ve been told there’s a wait of 6-9 months for dresses to be made at some boutiques. I don’t want to buy the first dress I fall in love with, so will go to a few shops before I order THE dress. Instead of rushing the first one I see out of panic.
There’s this awful pressure on us to book things but it could be hyped up to encourage us to spend money on the struggling wedding industry. Everything could be perfectly fine if you waited.
Go with your gut instinct. If you feel better booking things in advance, then explain to your fiancé that you’d like to do it for peace of mind and reassurance. If you need to chat anytime, feel free to message me. Good luck xx

View quoted message 6 months away from getting married ? Have you booked anything ? Xx

View quoted message Aww thank you thats lovely of you. I'm a massive organiser so like to know that everything is in place. We are looking at venues in May when we are allowed to lol xx

View quoted message We are getting married next July xx

View quoted message Sorry I wrote that 6 months comment to Ryah.


I’m very organised but the pandemic and getting married at peak time makes me so anxious haha what date are you getting married ? We get married 9th July 2022 xx

View quoted message We are hopefully getting married on the 30th July 2022 if we haven't missed the slot with the registrar.. my other half has a job interview next week so we are waiting to hear from that before I can book it lol x

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We have everything booked but not paid for , i booked and picked everything so far with no real input. we are getting married 18th September so it feels super close .

View quoted message That’s pretty good . You have plenty of time until September. I bet you’re so excited!! Mines next year and I already have butterflies haha xxx

View quoted message Im so excited and nervous i just feel so unsure still theres so much to do still but its all stuff you cant do til closer to the time

It's definitely a man thing x we are doing a small legal ceremony this July and I am just slowly getting it organized without telling him much now. He has started to realize it is close and that he needs a suit and suggested getting more involved in the planning now. You might have a similar experience next year when your already finished planning he will want to get involved then

Think its a man thing, our wedding isn't till August next year and he really isn't fussed by any of the planning except when it comes to the meal and cake but he doesn't care about colours or flowers x

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Hi there, yes the photographer I approached could have been lying to get the booking of course but then a totally different guy told me he is already booked and suggested an alternative photographer that he would recommend so there is more activity around summer 2022 then some people think. We didn't want to move from a July Saturday so we have seen people being unavailable as these are obviously popular dates. Good luck everyone.

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I was surprised our local registrar had lots of slots left when I enquired for the weekend before you so 23rd July 2022, it was good as I had the pick of the times but they do want all the money upfront and its over £600! I booked in mid Feb this year so one more thing off the list.