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Vera

Funeral Etiquette (Sens)

Vera, 25 September, 2008 at 16:38 Posted on Off Topic Posts 0 9
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**SENSITIVE**

Hi, my neighbour's beautiful little 6 month old baby sadly passed away on Sunday. She was not well and was never going to be 'normal'. They have not been at the house this week as they've stayed with her at the hospice. Their curtains/blinds have been closed all week (which is something that they do not normally do during the day). I assume that this is due to their bereavement.

On the day of the funeral next week, do I keep my blinds down? This used to be the case years ago that the neighbours used to draw their curtains but I don't go to many funerals and am not sure which is the norm nowadays.

Any help or advice is appreciated, thanks.

9 replies

Latest activity by cariad, 25 September, 2008 at 18:18
  • MD
    Beginner
    MD ·
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    Very sorry to hear of the sad news.

    Its never been done in the areas I have lived in or with a family bereavement of our own. It is quite 'old school'.

    Would it be possible to leave them in the morning and take your lead from what other neighbours do?

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  • Vera
    Vera ·
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    Thanks for your comments

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  • L
    Beginner March 2006
    lisa23 ·
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    I'm sorry to hear of their loss

    In my family we all close the curtains on funeral days. I was never sure if it was a family thing or an old tradition

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  • R-A
    Beginner July 2008
    R-A ·
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    Sorry to hear about this - certainly puts my loss into perspective.

    From what you've said may it be that they have left the curtains etc drawn because they have not been there?

    To be perfectly honest I haven't heard of other people drawing their curtains but I am on the younger side and also live in London (?where people are not so community minded?) so perhaps it depends on where you live.

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  • SophieM
    SophieM ·
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    No idea, but this reminds me of the beautiful Wilfred Owen sonnet...

    What candles may be held to speed them all?
    Not in the hands of boys, but in their eyes
    Shall shine the holy glimmers of goodbyes.
    The pallor of girls' brows shall be their pall;
    Their flowers the tenderness of patient minds,
    And each slow dusk a drawing-down of blinds.

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  • Allice
    Beginner August 2007
    Allice ·
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    How awful, poor people. I remember people doing this when I was in Yorkshire, i've never seen it done where I live now. I think that I would leave my blinds down if I were you, even if no one else does it I don't imagine that it will stand out.

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  • Vera
    Vera ·
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    Thank you all so much for you lovely words.

    Just popped in as they are just back from the hospice. Gave them a card and a cuddle, he said it's lovely that people just think of them with a card, visit or phone call. To know that people care is enough for them.

    As I'm a bit old school I think I will keep my blinds down. Thanks once again. xx?

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  • GMT
    Beginner December 2008
    GMT ·
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    How sad for the family - and how lovely of you to be so sensitive to their feelings.

    I've never known anyone close blinds / curtains on this kind of occasion. I'm sure that whatever you decide to do, you won't offend your grieving neighbours.

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  • cariad
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    cariad ·
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    How very sad ?

    i would close mine but then i am from a small communty in wales and we do this

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