Gary Speed - Latest rumour?

Me too.

Did you see Bryn Law on Sky Sports News? I'll be honest, I had never heard of Gary Speed before Sunday but that clip of Bryn Law had me bawling.

It's such a shame for everyone he's left behind but unlike a lot of people, I have never seen suicide as a cowardly act. As for him taking his life in his own home, the very fact that he took his life at all shows that he wasn't thinking in a normal way. I imagine that when you get to that point of knowing you are going to take your own life, everything else must go out of your mind, otherwise I am reasonably sure they wouldn't go through with it at all.

I was dreading coming back to this. Thought I was going to be flamed for being a nosey old bint/gossip queen ?

I had this discussion with my H last night. He said someone at work had called GS a coward. I completely disagree.

Selfish and inconsiderate of others, yes. Cowardly, no.

I don't even think of it as selfish or inconsiderate because I think that if you are in that mental state you're not capable of feeling those things.

Absoutley. Suicide is not (in my opinion) a selfish, cowardly or inconsiderate event. It is a choice made by someone who is certain sure at that time, that there is no other way to stop the awful pain they are feeling, and that they know for sure, that the world will be a better place without them.

I suppose selfish is probably the wrong word. I don't mean it in a negative context. It's hard to put into words but what I'm trying to say is that when committing suicide I guess the last thing you think of, or are capable of thinking of, are others and how it will effect them.

I say inconsiderate because to do it in your family home he has clearly not thought about how this will effect his family. Which is by definiton, inconsiderate. Again, it's not really meant in a negative way.

It's such an awful situation and I have nothing but sympathy for all involved.

Actually, one thing you DO consider is the effect your death will have on others - and the conclusion (however misguided) is that they will all be better off.

The Dad of a guy I grew up with committed suicide in his car and then in his suicide note, he left the car to his son.

Another guy I know, his Dad also committed suicide in his car on a week day afternoon while his son was out doing his paper round. He came home to find the neighbours trying to resuscitate him on the drive.

It just goes to show that when anyone is in that mental state, they are clearly not thinking about the negative effects their death will have on their family.

I think this is what I'm trying to say.

But as you say AC, clearly if you feel that low, you wouldn't think that your death would have any negative effects.

I agree. Apart from when people jump in front of trains or off bridges into traffic. That can cause harm to others unnecessarily.

Firstly thanks to Mrs C and Mooey for attempting to make me out as some sort of idle gossiping monster. I could have said allot more but the thread has clearly moved on!

Suicide is tragic, and anyone that this happens to is clearly in no fit state to know what they are doing, I feel saddened that anyone would feel there is no other way to get through their problems. I dont agree with it being an act of selfishness, unless like RB said they do it in such a way that they would put other people at risk, it is a huge cry for help which sadly results in it being to late to do anything about.

I should probably leave this now, but I don't see that there's much difference between the above and committing suicide in a family home, where your spouse or children will most defintitely find you.

There's the obvious difference that one will cause physical harm and the other psychological, but both must be almost equally damaging. It might not physically kill you to discover your spouse or parent, but it would almost certainly ruin your life. I don't see how you could ever put that totally behind you.

You could cause a car accident by jumping off a motorway bridge.

Yes I know that.

If you class that as selfish because not only are you taking your own life you are potentially taking others, then I don't see that to commit suicide in your own home where you know that a family member will find you cannot be classed as selfish too.

Maybe I am being over-sensitive but I felt that following some of the initial comments, it was tactless to start a thread with such a title and so I said so. It is human nature to ask yourself why, but that doesn't mean that you have to repeat speculation around such tragic circumstances.

I am going to leave this thread here as my reaction is clearly being misunderstood and discussing it is just upsetting me further.

You compared me to the Journalists who write all this stuff and who could potentially be a contributing factor to GS suicide! I thought that was really unjust Mrs C. You are entitled to your opinion but if you are claiming that your reaction was misunderstood then how do you think I felt? Admittedly the choice of words I used in the title could have been put in a better way, but I think you and Mooey completely exaggerated what I had said, and I felt that was really unfair.

I actually agree with mooey and Mrs C....a thread with such a title is speculating about the reasons for his death which I find really insensitive.

Suicide is such a personal thing and I dont see how sugesting that he did it because he was helps the situation. His family and friends are already going through enough, why have to face speculation about his sexuality also? I hadnt heard the "latest rumour" until I read this thread.

Yes the press have a large part to play, but people spreading gossip such as this are the reasons why Journalists dig the dirt and write the stories.

Fair enough - but why read this post in the first place then!

To give you that very opinion

Thanks

This is a public forum where we discuss all different sorts of topics, the same way that you would if you met up with a friend. I have discussed this topic with OH and mum and neither time were we gossiping or spreading rumours, just saying how awful and tragic it was. It was clear from Claire's first post that she had no intention of gossiping, just relaying how horrible it would be if it was true. Like many threads that people find upsetting, reading them is optional.

I agree.

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WSS, exactly this.

^^^^^^

Where did I mention Claire? I see that I named Twitter and the people that were commenting on there, but never Claire or specific people on Hitched. Those of you who follow me on Twitter will see that I made mention to the twitter rumours on there yesterday as well.

I have a big problem with the lack of moderation and control on Twitter at the moment, not only with the things that are being said about Gary Speed but also with what was said about George Michael when it was announced he had pneumonia...

Perhaps the issue of the thread is that the title is around latest rumor- it dosnt really suggest it will be about his suicide or reasons for it.

Someone killing themselves by hanging is an awful, tragic thing and for some people posting on here is probably a lot closer to home than we all think. If you have had experiance of this is a close family member or friend lets say then you are bound to feel a bit more sensitive about it than those lucky enough to have never gone through it.

A close friend of mine tried to kill herself Sunday morning. Luckliy she was found in time and is now getting the help and support she needs. She was texting me Sat night right as rain- I had no idea. Just goes to show you can speculate as much as you like- we will never know what went on in that poor mans head so why try and second guess it?

Sorry to hear about your friend, Min. Hope she continues to get the help she needs.

Imo, the insensitive aspect of this thread was people discussing which methods of suicide they consider to be 'selfish'.

But surely, as a public forum people are free to discus anything they wish?

I'm not saying you cant discuss it I am just trying to point out that some people may be more sensitve to the subject material than others hence a reaction that may to some seem "over the top" if they dont have any experiance of the subject matter first hand?

Thanks @Sapphire, I hope she does too. She has so much to live for and its tragic that she cant see that.

I'm really sorry to hear about your friend, Minno. I hope she gets all the support she needs. Very emotive topic, bound to cause some disagreements.