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VIP April 2022 Wiltshire

Grooms Family dropping out of wedding!

Charlotte, 18 August, 2021 at 20:21 Posted on Etiquette and Advice 1 7

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So I have just been for dinner with the future MIL for her birthday and she decided it was a good time to tell me right at the beginning of the meal when my OH was away from the table hat my future SIL's partner won't be coming to the wedding. It is not too big a surprise as my OH and he don't get in, I have never met him in the 4 years we have bee together.

My issue is she said I am not to say anything to my OH, her son, and she has told his sister she should tell us. I have been messaging his sister recently about bridesmaid dress shopping as her daughter is one for us and she has said nothing. My OH aunties and uncles have also said they are not coming but did this through his mum even though we emailed them to tell them, and if I am honest it is just rude. He says is fine as not bothered about them coming as not close but I am now sat here feeling like I am lying to him by not saying anything and I really want to! We are due to see his sister on Wednesday so should I just wait? We are going away on Saturday for 5 days and I don't what it playing on my mind. Sorry, rant over. Any thoughts please

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Latest activity by Jordan, 10 September, 2025 at 16:00

Rockstar August 2021 Wiltshire
Emma · 18 August, 2021 at 23:41
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Wednesday is a week away, that’s a long time for it to play in your mind. Could you potentially message the sister and ask her when she’s going to tell your other half or ask if they can confirm attendance due to numbers etc. Then hopefully she contacts your H2B before you go away or you can say I was confirming numbers and she’s said he’s not coming.
It’s a bit unfair of your mil to tell you and then tell you not to say anything. Would he be annoyed if you didn’t tell him or if you told him would it cause problems. If you’ve kind of guessed that the Lerner wasn’t coming anyway, would husband not be shocked. And it’s more of a polite thing that the sister is informing you guys
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VIP April 2022 Wiltshire
Charlotte · 19 August, 2021 at 08:17
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Thanks Emma, I just hated the idea of keeping a secret so I have now told him and he is fine, he said he is glad as he didn't want the awkwardness with his BIL on the day. Wasn't angry with me at all, more that his mum put me in that position. We wont say anything and see if she says something next week. I just feel sad for him as he will only have 4 family members there, but as he said, we have my family who he sees more of as his family and all our friends and that's all that matters
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VIP July 2026 Cheshire
Michelle · 19 August, 2021 at 14:00
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I am glad you sorted it all out and you an your fiancee can have a lovely day familys are hard when they want to be mine arent even talking to me because we booked everything was just us an our three kids after 19 years we just wanted it to be us only but they cant see this so wont even talk to us x I wish you both the best for the future x💗 Hope you both have an amazing day x💗
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VIP April 2022 Wiltshire
Charlotte · 19 August, 2021 at 14:09
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Thank you Michelle, it certainly is a minefield and I know I cant please everyone so as long as we are happy that is all we can do. Best of luck to you and your family, have a fantastic Day XX
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VIP July 2026 Cheshire
Michelle · 19 August, 2021 at 14:12
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Your welcome but unfortunately my wedding is off at the moment thanks to my family just do what you want. I hope you both have an amazing day an wish you both all the best for the future 🌈x
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VIP April 2022 Wiltshire
Charlotte · 19 August, 2021 at 14:31
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So sorry to hear that has got to that point for you. I hope you can find a way forward that you are happy with, is your day after all. good luck and take care X
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