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Erin8
Beginner June 2014

Guestzilla requests?

Erin8, 18 March, 2014 at 14:22

Posted on Planning 95

Has anyone had any extreme guest requests? I haven't had any yet, l am sure someone will ask to stay at our house the night before even though we have a house full already. A friend of mine was asked by her Auntie to chase the seating plan about an hour before the wedding. She had the sense to...

Has anyone had any extreme guest requests? I haven't had any yet, l am sure someone will ask to stay at our house the night before even though we have a house full already. A friend of mine was asked by her Auntie to chase the seating plan about an hour before the wedding. She had the sense to refuse -Auntie didn't like her seat apparently?! When my best friend got married then people were fixated by asking her to organise them getting to the wedding.

95 replies

  • A
    Beginner April 2014
    Annabel Lee ·
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    Great post, I thought it was just me who was having unreasonable requests/opinions from guests! My fave requests to date:

    1) Special dietary requirements: 'I don't like lamb, or cheese, or salad...etc'. My RSVP slip prompted you to enter your special dietary NEEDS, not to provide a list of foods you don't like

    2) "I don't like any of the food you've chosen, is there another option?" - REALLY??? No, it's a set meal. We picked Salad, Chicken, and Apple Pie...not exactly exotic or strange food! Telling me you 'wont eat it' when I've paid £65 per head for you to have it is plain rude. Discreetly leave it on the plate if you don't like it, but don't moan to me that your FREE dinner isn't to your taste.

    3) "Can you reserve a seat for my boyfriend at the ceremony?". No...front row seats are for parents and bridesmaids. Not your 'plus 1' who I've only met once. He can choose any other seat to sit on, same as everyone else. The ceremony lasts 10 minutes, he'll survive.

    4) "Can you not buy a normal cake aswell as a wedding cheese? I don't like cheese". Tough luck, we're having a wedding cheese. You're getting a dessert at the meal, I don't need to buy you a cake aswell.

    Love a good rant haha.

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  • Elixia
    Beginner March 2014
    Elixia ·
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    all of this could be remedied in one fell swoop! invite the auntie!

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  • V
    Beginner September 2013
    Vix7913 ·
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    We had:

    - The obligatory 'why can't my partner come, they are pretty much your family after all?!' Nobody got plus 1's including you and your partner who we have met twice!

    - The 'I can't eat/won't eat/don't like anything on your menu (4 choices for each course!), your chef will have to make me something else!' Needless to say they didn't get the 'something else', they got a kids meal!

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  • MrsKHbutterfly
    Rockstar September 2014
    MrsKHbutterfly ·
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    I've had:

    mum And best friend "well I do think that I should have a plus 1" my reply (hopefully more diplomatically put, was well when you meet someone to bring let me know and give me the extra money it will cost.... We're only having 30 in the day so there really are no spare places for me to save for someone who doesn't exist!!! Lol

    and from my other best friend " you can anything you want, as long as I like it!" I swing between being annoyed and laughing at this one though.

    and the one that I really really actually adore, is from my 5 year old flower girl, which is "can nanny & grandad come, and aunty and uncle and cousin and and and......" She's so excited about looking pretty in her dress :-) can't call her guestzilla, more guest-cutie lol

    xx

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  • 3
    Beginner December 2014
    3ColoursBlue ·
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    Ive got a bit of a groomzilla! He originally wanted FIVE best men. I knocked that on the head by pointing out, very sweetly that if he has five (with plus ones) then he personally gets to pay £20 per head for their canapes/ fizz and £30 per head for their food. And for the extra bottles of wine. I think he has now decided that the original limit ofvtwo was there for a reason! Especially since a fair few of their plus ones he finds highly annoying and would never even buy a drink for usually.

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  • H
    Beginner July 2016
    HeavyMetalMaiden ·
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    Usually I try to make everyone happy, but my wedding day is an exception. I havent had any guestzillas yet, but im basically gna be adopting the 'tough tits' approach. If someone is dead set on a plus 1 that we dont know, then they can fork out the cost of the meal. If someone doesnt like the menu (which will be tasty homely food), then they can eat before the wedding. I refuse to put me and h2b under any stress that is not necessary. Of course we will help with dietry requirements ans entertaining the kids. If anyone says they arent coming for a stupid reason, then they dont have to come! I like to think our families and friends will be cool with whatever we decide, and we r pretty confident with that, so hopefully we wont have any major issues. But yeah, this day aint for them, its for us!!

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  • C
    Beginner April 2014
    ClaireKB ·
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    We've had quite a lot on the transport arranging, my absolute favourite being from future father in law - "Well will there even be taxis from where we arrive? Have you checked?".

    They are arriving at an international London airport. I'm pretty sure I don't need to double check there will be taxis available ?

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  • FHB
    Beginner March 2014
    FHB ·
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    I had a family member texting to say they were shocked to find only adults were invited to the day and not their children...who were only invited to the evening . Who then rsvp'd that only they could come and partner would need to wait until the evening...it's not like I gave them 9 months notice on my save the date or anything?! Turns out we can squeeze her two kids in now because another guest can't make it.

    other guestzilas (who can't make it) live in England and specified to us a date that would be suitable...as it was around their 50th bday and didn't want things to clash. So we picked our wedding date based on that!!!!! To then have them not RSVP at all yet (deadline was last week) and to be told my FMIL ( who asked for the date on their behalf) that they can't come because it is the persons 50th birthday that weekend...and then they go off to Mexico for 2 weeks just after our wedding (with FMIL and FFIL)...and can't possibly afford to do all 3. Picture me with steam coming out my ears.

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  • H
    Beginner May 2015
    Hotchilli999 ·
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    Haha good thinking! Though I don't really want her there either lol was only doing it because I thought my mum would have wanted me to, after dad's outburst I decided he was right in that I shouldn't invite her but his ultimatum was unfair - ho hum! even more dilemma's happened this weekend, starting to wish we were eloping! or getting married abroad! bloomin' guests!!

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  • cymruangel
    Beginner December 2014
    cymruangel ·
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    This is such a teeny tiny problem, but I just needed to spill.

    Technically we don't have any guests yet, since we haven't sent out invitations (haven't even finalised our design yet) but some of OH's family have decided they don't want to stay at the hotel where we're having our reception, despite having gone on about how nice it was to all have breakfast together the next day at the last family wedding, 15 years ago.

    Allegedly this decision has been made on the basis of price of rooms, but I think they've been looking at the most expensive prices because there's about a £10-20 difference per night on the lowest price room. They are perfectly entitled to save money by staying elsewhere, but for the price difference it seems a bit petty to me.

    OH is very upset about it, and talking about not inviting them at all - it won't come to that, but I'm a bit sad that he's so upset.

    Also, given the last family wedding was 15 years ago, they don't seem to understand that there will be stuff going on in the evening of the wedding itself, which I thought was pretty much a given in weddings but perhaps not.

    This will all get sorted, and we will correct their misconceptions with a proper itinerary (which seems like madness 9 months out but anyway...) and explanation that we haven't picked a super expensive hotel, they've just had issues with the website.

    Phew, glad to get that off my chest, sorry for whinging about an almost non-issue!

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  • Bookish
    Beginner August 2014
    Bookish ·
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    We had someone ask if the hotel rooms were dog friendly...

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  • L
    Beginner June 2016
    LiverpoolB2B ·
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    Some of these made me chuckle!

    We've not really had any issues (yet!) our wedding is over 2 years away, we've told the important people the date and hopefully they'll all be able to come.

    Its OH that caused the guest list problem when we need rough number for prices wanting to invite cousins children's children's! It just got silly so I was quite firm with that point, given my parents are paying for the venue, reception food & drinks for everyone! Hopefully when we come to finalise the guest list it'll be quite easy to decide on as we've got a rough draft as it is Smiley smile I'd prefer a lower number of people who I loved and cared for, then just inviting people for the sake of them being 'family'. If you dont keep in touch or see them regularly, they are not coming!

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  • ToBeMrsHouse
    Beginner August 2014
    ToBeMrsHouse ·
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    Not had any extreme guest requests yet. We'll be sending the invitations out within the next few weeks, so I'm hoping for no funny RSVPs etc.

    My parents are paying for the wedding, and we wanted my fiancé's friend's two children there, but my parents have said no. We're having my little sister, 3 nieces and a nephew, but it's a small wedding and my parents were worried about it turning into a kids party. Luckily his friend has been lovely about it (one of the few friends of his that I approve of).

    Unfortunately though, his other friend who he's also known for 20 years, has said recently that he's not coming to the wedding. It's his wife's 36th birthday that day (BIG deal!), and they will be going to Newcastle instead to 'hang out in an exclusive bar with Z-list celebrities'. This is not my sarcasm, this is an exact quote from what he said to my partner... Like hanging out with z-list celebrities is a valid excuse for not being their for your old friend on their wedding day. I guess he would qualify as a guestzilla, although he'll not be a guest.

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  • C
    Beginner
    cw2b ·
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    I've just had my first 'request' - invites were sent Monday.

    Guest - are you providing transport from church to reception?

    me - no

    Guest - I think you should, how do you expect people to get there? You could hire taxis.

    me - I am happy to ring to arrange taxis but I'm not paying

    guest - silence....well I may just meet you at the reception and not come to the church, I don't see why that is tradition.

    I won't be impressed if she misses the ceremony and just comes for the food, surely that's the most important part of the day?!

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  • Erin8
    Beginner June 2014
    Erin8 ·
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    My thoughts exactly!

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  • InkedDoll
    VIP January 2015
    InkedDoll ·
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    That's a fair question, but you know, call the hotel and ask them! Don't people think the bride and groom will have enough to do...?

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  • DrBuffles
    Beginner August 2014
    DrBuffles ·
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    I sent my invites yesterday. Crossing my fingers there won't be any random requests but I am bracing myself for 'is my child invited?' and the Best Man who thinks he should be able to bring some random girl noone else has ever met, and when I asked if it was serious and would they still be together in 5 months he replied 'hope so'.

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  • Elixia
    Beginner March 2014
    Elixia ·
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    I actually spoke to my mum about this the week before the wedding. The stress that happens nowadays, with guests and the like seems worse than when she was getting married. But that was because when she got married, she organised the dresses and other stuff whereas nan did the invites and dealt with guests enquires which more or less left mum settled to the guest list drama.

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  • DrBuffles
    Beginner August 2014
    DrBuffles ·
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    I think so too. I've spoken to my mum about wedding things in general and it seems that so much of what we do now just wasn't thought of back when she got married (mid 70's). They didn't have a reception, they had the service then went somewhere for a meal with family and friends but they left at 5.30 to go on honeymoon. Their photographer was the local one in the village, as was the florist. They didn't need things like DJ's or videographers or favours and my grandparents arranged the guest list.

    I blame pinterest! too many ideas!

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  • AuntieBJ
    Beginner September 2014
    AuntieBJ ·
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    I don't even think it goes back that far! I got married the first time round in 1990 and I don't remember having any of these kind of worries then - I had my wedding in the church I grew up going to and the reception in the church hall. Admittedly it was a very small wedding and we had no more than 50 guests for the whole thing, but the only concern we had was that my grandmother would behave herself!

    She disagreed with us getting married because I was pregnant at the time (shock, horror!) and certainly we shouldn't be getting married in a church (how blasphemous we were!). However, and I didn't know this until years later, my mum and her friends completely sat on her every time she opened her mouth to say anything bad about me and she didn't refuse to come or anything like that!

    We didn't have many children - I was only 17 and none of our friends had kids, nor did any of our family really. Even if they had had any, I don't think I would have worried about inviting them. No accommodation was considered necessary because the wedding would only last until 4pm - we got married at midday and had a buffet - not much in the way of alcohol apart from some champagne.

    The cake was just a cake - it didn't have to have any fantastic details. We used a local photographer and never even considered a videographer. The bridesmaids were my sister, my sister-in-laws and my best friend and there was no expectation that they would do anything other than stand beside me and look pretty.

    We didnt' decorate the church or the venue and we certainly didn't have anything like a candy buffet, a photo booth, a cheese bar or any cute signs or even centrepieces.

    I think a lot of the ideas we think we 'have' to have now are brought over from america and programmes like four weddings, bridezillas etc...

    Having said all that, I'm enjoying having some of those personal touches that make my wedding my own and not like everyone elses and I don't think you get those without all those things that can turn us into bridezillas and our guests into guestzillas lol

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  • Elixia
    Beginner March 2014
    Elixia ·
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    Yes i completely agree a lot of it is extra padding to plump up the wedding industry but I'm not going to shake my finger at it. It makes things more personal with all these little touches and I enjoyed choosing them.

    anyway sorry for completely hijacking the thread Smiley smile

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  • Mrsjtobee
    Beginner May 2014
    Mrsjtobee ·
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    We've just had our first RSVP issue.... We sent an invite out to my aunty, uncle and two cousins. We've just had the RSVP back saying that my aunty and uncle can't come as their on holiday, fair enough. They've then written my cousin's girlfriends names on the rsvp as coming instead! I've never met these girls and they haven't asked me if it's ok if they can come!

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  • C
    Beginner
    cw2b ·
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    I had prepared myself Hanweb for this question! I was expecting her to ask about transport or where she can stay the night before, although there is still time for the second question to be asked,lol!

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  • Mrsjtobee
    Beginner May 2014
    Mrsjtobee ·
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    Nope, I had no idea until the RSVP arrived in the post. We are up to our limit on guests so ideally we would of liked to upgrade a couple of OH's friends but we can't do that now. It irks me having to spend £100+ on two people that we've never met.

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  • C
    Beginner July 2015
    celticcurl ·
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    You can upgrade your friends just get back to your cousins and tell them that they can't bring their girlfriends. Don't feel guilty about it, they're the ones being rude.

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  • Erin8
    Beginner June 2014
    Erin8 ·
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    I agree with Celticcurl

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  • C
    Beginner July 2015
    celticcurl ·
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    I agree with erin8 ;-) ;-) :-)

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  • mle123
    Beginner May 2014
    mle123 ·
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    Something I found more funny than iritating. I recieved an envelope containing rsvp from fiance's nan addressed to him and Beth! Its not my name haha how long does it take to copy my name from the invite if she forgot?! I cant believe what some of you have dealt with. We only have 5 weeks so hopefully past most of it now!

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  • ClaireD*
    Beginner May 2014
    ClaireD* ·
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    We've just had a guest and his wife contact us to ask if they can bring their toddler-child to our wedding. The answer is no, there are to be no children present.

    The funny bit of this story is that neither the guest or his wife were invited either....

    ...The guest called my partner about a year ago, and told us how much he was looking forward to our wedding. We had no intention of inviting him. Still, out of politeness, we thought 'Oh well, just put him on the list'. So we later sent him an invite addressed to just HIM. It was a 'ticket' style of invite 'For One'.

    A month or two later, he called my partner again. Told him how excited him and his wife were about the wedding. My partner was shocked, but went along with it and didn't say he'd got it wrong. After a bit of an argument, we just decided to add HER to the guest list to keep the peace. Although we've never met her.

    A couple of months ago, he called my partner again. This time he mentioned how he was sure that his child would be 'good as gold' during the ceremony. That pushed my partner too far. He straight away said on the phone 'NO - NO CHILDREN'. The guest apologised for having got this wrong, and was sooo sorry he'd made the mistake.

    And now we have it, they are now asking to bring their child again, having been told absolutely not. We've again said no. Whilst we caved in on two people inviting themselves to our wedding, mentioning bringing kids eventually made us stand our ground!

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  • MrsCWB
    Beginner October 2014
    MrsCWB ·
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    I have previously mentioned my brother.

    His latest one is that I have to invite my eldest nephew's girlfriend or my eldest nephew won't come, which in turn means my other nephew won't come. My eldest nephew has been with his girlfriend for a few years, she is incredibly stuck up. She can barely bring herself to say hello to me when I see her and is condescending to me and my Mum. She has never even met H2B!! I can't stand the girl, I really can't. Yet now, I am cutting out one of my friends from the guest list so that I can accommodate her.

    What's worse, is that I know my nephews well enough to know that if they get offered a shift at work on Sunday rates, even if it's the day before, they'll take that over coming to my wedding, so they will probably stitch me up anyway!!

    x

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  • N
    Beginner June 2014
    nemi ·
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    My aunt asked if she could bring her dog because 'he had never been left alone'

    That really annoyed me and of course the answer was no!

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  • broganj
    Dedicated January 2017
    broganj ·
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    ? You've just made me realise that my Aunt may very well do this too!!! I can't stand the fact that she lets the dog beg for food on a normal day so it certainly won't be happening at our wedding lol.

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