Had someone invite themselves...... *cringe*

Eurgh cringeworthy. I think I'd be too stunned to know what to say, who invites themselves to a wedding or assumes they'll be invited? Even for good friends I've never assumed and invitation as often people struggle with numbers.

Is it a big or small do you're planning? We're only having a small day reception but pretty much anyone can come in the evening so I'd say that it's just family during the day but there'll be an evening invite.

Oooh awkward! Is there an evening invitation she can have? I don't know what I'd do if someone did this. Although we're seeing some of my oh's family next weekend at his Mum's wedding, aunties, cousins etc and we haven't invited them at all, it's going to be very awkward!

I did not know whre to put myself. She caught me unawares and I was too speechless to respond. We have a number limit for the day so we're planning on family and close friends...As for the reception - the more the merrier! She can come to the reception, that I don't have an issue with!! The more I think about her assumption the more miffed I feel!!!

Yes she can come to the evening, Im just so annoyed with her assumption!! Im even more annoyed that she caught me unawares and put me on the spot. After she said it she went back to what she was doing - so I didn't really have the opportunity to answer..In a way Im glad!

Best of luck for next weekend

I had a very similar thing happen to me. It was a colleague at work who had only started 3 months earlier. He was asking if I had a first dance picked yet, and when I told him what song I was thinking of he said "Oh, you can't have that - that was my "song" with my ex girlfriend and it would really upset my wife if you had that".

I was completely shocked, both because I wasn't planning on inviting him, and secondly because he had no right to tell me which first dance song I could have.

I just said I hadn't sorted out the guest list yet and I was really tight on numbers because my venue was so small so not sure I could invite him.

Oh no, how rude of her!

I've had a 'friend' say 'you will have to giv me the discount code for the hotel rooms, I will need a room if I'm there all day'. I just told her that we wasn't inviting friends all day, we have a budget and we have to stick to it. - She didn't look impressed!

I don't understand why people do it?! We had our best mans girlfriend ask if her best mate and her fella could come to the day so she would be sitting by herself as he would be on the top table!!! I was totally peeved and just said no lol x

Oh yes i have had this, with a woman up the school. I talk to her now and again but not someone i would class as a friend , she really isnt the type of person i would make friends with.

Any way she has put me in a few horrid situations. WHenh she first found out i was engaged , she tried to push all her old wedding bits on to me , they were completely wrong what i wanted and never even saw them but she kept pushing everyday . In the end i got my partner on a day off to come with me and tell her a straight no.

Then a couple of weeks after she said i will have to give her directions to the church so she could find it ..... I said right away oh im really tight on numbers for just family.

Then she is christening her youngest baby, and invited me and my family, well i really dont know the woman and wouldnt feel comfortable going to such a cerished thing as a christening. I said to her i didnt think we could come , and in desperation she said oh please ill make you god parents.... I was so shocked.

I think this is all to just try and get closer to me to get a invite to my wedding. THis wont be happening , she just isnt my sort of person x

?

I think I would tell her that its a small wedding for closest friends and family only. Where do people get ideas like this? And dont get me started on the I'll make you godparents comment [rofl]

Ahhhh cringe indeed!

I am dreading the whole work invite thing i am inviting 1 colleague who i consider a close friend the whole day, the rest of my team will be invited in the evening, there are also other people in the larger department who i would like to invite to the evening but other members of their teams i cants stand so would dread to be in the situation you have been put in where people invite themselves.

I had this happen - started a new job in September and was invited to the end-of-year 'do' in the July before I started. One of my colleagues to be noticed my engagement ring and said 'oh lovely, another wedding we can go to'!!! I had never even met her before and she assumed that not only she would get an invite, but the rest of the staff too!!

When I get married I want people to be there who are family, or that I have known for longer than a few months in a professional capacity. Gobsmacked by the cheek of it, I would never presume anything like that.

Stick to your guns and really hammer the number limits thing. You've got enough to stress about without worrying whether to invite half the workplace.

C xx

Just after I got engaged I ran into a girl I used to go to College with, we'll call her S. We hadn't spoken or kept in touch but when we were together at College there were 3 of us that were friends together. I kept in touch with the other girl (K) and K is my bridesmaid. When S saw me she squealed and said 'Oh let me see the ring I can't wait to be a bridesmaid'. I laughed (but felt incredibly awkward) and we had a few minutes and went our seperate ways. She hasn't contcted me since (thank god).

And my mum keeps saying "Oh I ran into so and so the other day and they were so excited that you were getting married so I asked them to come to the evening doo, and I told so and so that they could bring a friend so they are not lonely" It's driving me mental!!!! But I think she took the hint when we spoke about it a few days ago and she saw my reaction to her latest invitee. Grrrr!!

This is really shocking!! I can't believe she said that to you! Some people eh!?!?

I really really appreciate all of your replies ..I am so relieved that I am not the only one in this sort of predicament.

I just feel really awkward. What makes it worse is I work with a good friend of mine, I've known her almost 3yrs now and I plan on inviting her to the wedding, but not this colleague. While she is nice enough, I need to watch numbers - so it will have to be evening only for her. Its going to cause a ruction - she's very hot headed indeed but, I don't care she'll have to like it or lump it!

It sounds like she didn't give you much of a choice!! Im sure you were really annoyed! Did you speak to her about it and tell her that you had already said you wanted to look at your budget first?? I would have been extremely annoyed!!

This is the second time this colleague has mentioned it to me, I didn't think much of it as she said it in passing.. But, now I'm kinda worried. Although I said in my previous post she can like it or lump it. My friend who I work with that I plan to invite to the wedding is worried too because this colleague has a little 'fixation' with her...so it thickens the plot a bit and I think she has assumed she's coming with her - although my friend has a partner who she'll be bringing!

This is not the first time this colleague has invited herself along to something! gaahhh!!

Also, I haven't said anything to anyone about my wedding - so it makes it worse. Even my mate at work doesn't know she's getting an invite!! I wouldn't mention that kind of thig at work because I don't plan on bringing anyone from work except my friend!

I know how you feel lol ..I had 3 BMs, now I've got 2 as I sacked one! Cutting a long story EXTREMELY short, she's just a nasty piece of work. It never ceases to amaze me how weddings can bring out the true colours of people!!!! x

Lol! I am sure there will be an argument when OH speaks to is brother to tell him that we no longer want his niece as a BM and the reasons why!! ..Her sister is still a BM, she's lovely though. I know what it will come to, OH's SIL is a bit of a mouth piece and she'll do the whole 'if she can't be bridesmaid then neither can the other one..' Which won't upset me, it will just upset her!! Some people eh!? Still, these things are sent to try us!

To be honest i think until you plan or are involved in planning a wedding, you have NO IDEA how expensive it is and how complicated the guestlist can get etc and thats why we get all the presuming people! i just don't think they 'get' how expensive it is to invite everyone you have ever had a conversation with....

We have cut our guestlist right down and i know for a fact that when we send out invites we will have some very dissapointed and confused friends as they are already mentioning the ceremony and being there for this and that...its hard to turn around and say no actually you are only coming to the evening or your not invited at all...

when i first got engaged i had 2 people ask to be a bridesmaid (3 if you count my brother asking if his girlfriend was to be one) and a few ask about invites...one of which i pretty much told outright they weren't invited oops!

you have to make the decisions yourselves and then stick to it IMO! x

Definitely! I have no choice but to stick to numbers for the day - family and close friends will ALWAYS take precendence over work colleagues. Some people will be disappointed but hey ho...we can't win them all! Wedding are stressful enough without people inviting themselves to it. Had I known what she was going to say I would have been ready with a reply but she caught me so unawares I was just stumped for words!! I told my friend and she was livid! My friend and this colleague have fellout since - although it's over something else, nothing to do with my wedding. To be honest, I have distanced myself from this colleague because she has terrible mood swings and is sooo quick tempered. We've told her about it so many times and although she admits to an anger issue she never does anything about it. Im sick of her snapping at my friend - although she never does it to me, I think she knows better though because I wouldn't stand for it! It's just awkward, really awkward. I don't mention the wedding in front of her now

I'm going to have this problem and me and blokie have had a few akward conversations already! We havent even booked a venure yet!

We have around 80 for the day, including 12 children. I have a very small family 8 in total, blokie has a huge family with 5 aunties and uncles, cousins, second cousins etc....

Now! he is close to some and not others but wants them all there!! What i am objecting to is cousins boyfriends/girlfriends who HE hasnt even met! When you shart costing it all up I'm starting to feel really precious about paying for people I dont know! I understand there will laways be OH's family I havent met (yet)

Ther other problem i have is work...I have some very close colleagues I do class as friends and have worked with along time but some of my team i havent. Im wanting 5 of them there all day but dont want the others...not sure how to go about that one!

I definatley don't want to start inviting people out of guilt or because i went to theirs etc....

How do you do it?! Offend and stick to your guns or compromise!

EEK!

I wish i knew!!

I'm having this dilemma, but with family!

We have not sent out our invitations yet. H2b's cousin (much younger than us) is due to have a baby any day now. She said to me last week "ohh ive seen a lovely outfit for the baby for the wedding, can't wait to dress it up..."

omg!! We don't want any babies there! I couldn't believe she just assumed.

I think after my jaw had hit the floor I managed a smile, but now I have no idea what to do. We had no intention of wanting her baby or any baby to come, it was a compromise to let his 8 cousins that he hardly sees come to the wedding at all, let alone their children.

Ive had that with bridesmaids and even maid of honour

had at east 3 people say oh il be your maid of honor to me!!!

i tell people straight no my best friend is my maid of honour etc and ive been the same about the guest list too

in my opinion there is a more tactful alternative:

1, play the blame game - im really sorry but my mum and dad have put a cap on the numbers and arn allowed any more people there, i cant even invite some of my relatives.

or - we are only having really close friends and family there but im having a massive hen party to celebrate with my friends

hope this helps

Thats terrible, i have to say i'm not inviting anyone i work with to our wedding we are on a very tight budget and i have told people in a very polite way that due to the tightness of budgets they shouldn't expect an invite,

i feel sorry for your i wouldn't really know what to do with myself if someone just assumed they were getting invited.

I have had a friend of mine ask if his mum and her boyfriend are invited.......er no! i don't even know them?! he assumed as he's invited (hes my friend) and his uncleis invited (oh's close friend) that we will be inviting the whole family! When we receve a wedding invite i don't even assume our own children are invited no mind anyone else!

Exactly this! Its one of the unfortunate things that comes with weddings. One thing I've learnt is - you can't please everyone. If people are in anyway decent they'll understand, there's so many factors to take into consideration - numbers, finances etc... Some people just don't get it

I hate it when this happens. I wished OH happy birthday on FB today and mentioned its a few weeks until our big day and somebody posted on my Wall, will my invite be in the post?!

I had to send a private message saying no it is a small wedding, I didn't have the heart to shame them on FB.

Absolutely!!! It is one of the hardest things to balance......and I KNOW I will be offending people but you know what? Tough titty!!! It's OUR day and we brides ( and H2B's) should do it OUR way!!!!! ?