Help! Advice on dealing with future in laws and accommodation problems

I really feel for you, I agree it should be 50/50. I too lost my father so want my family around me on the day. Could you maybe try and speak to his mum, explain how you feel and that you would prefer to have his sister there so you can keep it to close family only? If not then your H2B needs to have the conversation, it will be hard, but this is your wedding so what you want should be considered. Is there somewhere local you can suggest for the family friends to stay so it is not to far away? I hope you can get her to see your side of things and have who you want around you x

Your fiance needs to learn how to disagree with his mother! This is not going to be the last time she wants something that doesn't work for you as a couple, and she needs to learn now that she doesn't always get things her way. Otherwise, you are going to end up with a lot of conflict in your marriage, because MIL will assume her son will always do what she wants.

He doesn't have to be rude about it, just very direct and clear. 'Mum, the reason we have reserved these rooms is so that our two families can get to know each other. We need all these rooms for immediate family. I'm sorry, but we don't have space for x and y.' As a sweetener, you could offer to find the elderly friends some accommodation nearby. But please don't budge on your original plan.

Thank you everyone. It's helped me feel I'm not going mad and I'm not being selfish. My fiancé's family are lovely but very close knit. He's always just fitted in with their plans and so my entry into their world is probably a bit of a shock. I'm speaking with him later with a clearer idea of what to say so thank you.