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Beginner March 2023 Durham

Help! Awkward situation

Sharon, 31 of May of 2022 at 03:43 Posted on Etiquette and Advice 0 7

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Hi all

Could really do with some advice, might seem like a minor issue or that I'm being the biggest bitch but it's really stressing me out. We are getting married in Mexico next year (we live in the U.K) and there is around 45 of us going, some for 2 weeks, some 11 days and some 1 week. We are obviously going for 2 weeks, as is my best friend, who is my maid of honour. So here is the issue...my best friend is single and coming alone and I'm worried she is going to get lonely. We are extremely close and she means the world to me but I'm already getting worried that shes not getting that it is our wedding/honeymoon and we want to spend time alone at certain times. She wants to travel to the airport with us and book the extra seat in our row of 3. My OH works away so we love our holidays getting to spend quality time together, my friend can be quite shy so mixing with other people is tough for her, even though there is other single people going, I know she'll want to be with me rather than sit with people she doesnt know. I dont bother with my phone on holiday but I kind of get the feeling she will be texting to meet for breakfast and dinner whereas these are the 2 times we like to be alone. I'm all for chilling with everyone at the pool, going for lunch etc but certain times we like it just us. I dont want to hurt her feelings but at the same time I'm worried it's going to be the 3 of us all the time, it's making me anxious as I dont know how to approach the situation without hurting her.

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7 replies

Latest activity by Michelle, 1 of June of 2022 at 13:03

VIP April 2022 Wiltshire
Charlotte · 31 of May of 2022 at 08:44
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As hard as it is you need to set out your groundrules now. Have a face to face with er and explain you are so happy that she is foing to be there on your big day but you want to make it clear to her tht this is your honeymoon as well and you wont be spending days/meals with her, and you want to let her know in advance that this is the case. Also say you and H2B want to sit alone on the flight for some wquality time together, as where he is away a lot you have not had much time together pre wedding so this is your time. if there are other people who will also be there then make sure you do the same with them as you need to set the expectation now, that this is not a big family/friend holiday. I am sure she will understand, and it is a difficult conversation but you have to do it, good luck
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Dedicated July 2022 Co Londonderry
Ali312 · 31 of May of 2022 at 08:52
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Yep, I agree with Charlotte. It might help to organise some trips for just the two of you, to give you some time apart. I can also imagine it will be hard for her too, given that she's shy, so yes, she'll probably want to spend time with you guys on what's supposed to be your honeymoon. Is there a reason she's staying out there for so long?- If I were her and I didn't know anyone I wouldn't be staying around during someone's honeymoon unless I knew I'm happy on my own. Either way, I think you will have to talk to her and explain that after the wedding you don't want to do much i.e. look I'm spending all the time I have with my OH.
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VIP July 2024 Cheshire
Michelle · 31 of May of 2022 at 16:46
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You just need to explain to her that you and h2b need some time on your own while you are there after all it will be a honeymoon sort of also and just say you will meet up at certain times but its your time x💗
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VIP July 2020 Monmouthshire
RomanticGreenStationery27135 · 31 of May of 2022 at 17:51
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Hopefully, she will realise it's not appropriate to be with you all the time on your honeymoon anyway. But in case she doesn't, I would maybe tackle it by asking her what plans she has made for the holiday time outside of the wedding. E.g. 'I hope you won't be bored on your own when we are on honeymoon. Are you happy to do things on your own or would you like us to link you up with some of the others who are staying for the whole week?'. And 'would you prefer to be on your own on the flight, or would you like to try and book a seat next to some of the other guests so you can start to get to know them?'
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Curious July 2022 Cheshire
Sarah · 31 of May of 2022 at 23:54
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So reassure her that u got her back but also let her know gently that you not only book the destination for your wedding but it for you and your partner honeymoon so u be won't to send time with just u and him for a week I am sure she understands
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Beginner March 2023 Durham
Sharon · 1 of June of 2022 at 12:58
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Thanks so much everyone. I'm going to take your advice and speak to her, I just don't want to offend her. Good idea on planning trips just us 2 also, we are looking forward to spending time as a group but this ensures we also get quality time on our own.
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