HELP! Pregnant bridesmaid!

Shoudnt be a problem! Maybe go for a Maxi grecian style dress... very flattering on all figures, even a big bump :-)

I wouldn't risk it, the last thing you want is her going into labour half way through the ceremony...

Dresses with an empire line will accommodate a bump. Might be worth buying something a few sizes up and having it altered for her nearer the time.

Grecian or empire line sounds like the way to go. If she wants to do it then go with it. It might be worth reassuring her that if she does feel closer to the time that she's not up to it you won't mind at all.

I'd relax and be thrilled that even with all that going on she wants to be there for you

I would seriously give this some thought. She may want to be a bridesmaid still but do you want her to be one? What would you do if she gave birth early and couldn't make the wedding, what is she has a bad pregnancy and pulls out. Is this her first pregnancy? - she may simply not be up to it, tired, achey feet, etc. You need to think about these things so you are ready with solutions to the possible issues.

For what it's worth this is my story. My bridesmaid was due 2 weeks before my wedding. She was adement she still wanted to be bridesmaid, and that the baby would be early - her first child was 5 and half weeks early. Even if the baby was on time she said she would be fine to be at the wedding. It put me in a quandry as I really wanted her to be BM and yet I was fairly certain she wouldn't make it. I couldn't ask anyone else 'just in case' as then I would have the issue that you have with dresses. I decided to not buy anything for her until a few days before the wedding, and she was fine about this. As it turned out she went over her due date by a few days, had a rough birth and told me she couldn't be BM just a few days before our wedding. She did make the service (which I was so pleased about) but didn't even feel up to staying for photos as she was so tired from the birth.

I don't regret having her as my BM but it did mean that things I had always assumed would happen (my BM at my whole hen do - she only stayed for a few hours-, my BM staying over with me the night before, silly photos, her helping me get ready, getting our make-up/hair done, going dress shopping together etc) didn't happen. Once I settled this in my head I was ok and I had the attitude that she wouldn't be there so anything would have been a bonus. (like her attending the service) I also asked other friends to stay over with me and help me out on the day which actually was lovely and let me involve other friends who I cared about with special aspects of my day. Oddly enough the other person I would have asked had my pregnant BM pulled out straight away, would have been my cousin who didn't come to the wedding in the end as her dad-my uncle- died a few days before our wedding, so I was kind of destined to not have a BM.

There are a few options for you regarding dresses for your BM's. You could buy a much larger size for her so it could be fitted just a few days before hand (you would need to see if a dressmaker could do this). Or you could have two different dresses just in similar colours or hues, rather than exactly the same and therefore get hers closer to the time and your unpregnant BM sooner. You could have them made specially so hers fits properly. You could go highstreet as they often have pretty maternity dresses which could be suitable. It could work out fine and you will be really pleased that she still wanted to be BM, just talk to her and find the best solution for you both.

Thank you all for your comments.

i was thinking of a empire line / floaty dress too.

this is her first child. her husband is in the forces so they move around a lot and she wants to be part of our day. i'd love her to continue to be my bridesmaid. i suppose i'm just concerned over the dresses and that her due date is so close to the wedding day. luckily one of my friends who is attending is a midewife!! xx

A dressmaker can work wonders, my sisters friend was trying to get pregnant when we ordered the bridesmaid dresses so we went up a size and ordered a meter of the fabric also (most designers will let you do this).

As it turned out on the day of my sisters wedding she was 8 months pregnant, the alterations lady was fantastic and fitted her dress the week before the wedding, she added pannels in the side using the fabric we ordered and the dress looked great, you wouldn't have known it had been altered. Her dress was a paler pink too

the dress started life like this

Thanks Soulmates! You can hardly see the difference.

Were the dresses made by a dress maker or did you get them from a shop?

xx

They were Watters and Watters dresses which we bought online from america but it is a known designer that we could have bought from a bridal shop. Then we took them to an independend seamstress. I think if you stick with empire waisted and get extra fabric anything is possible!

Excellent! Thank you! Well, I now feel better about the dress. Just need to talk to her about how she will be feeling! x

You could always give her another position that isn't so demanding, such as doing a reading or something, just in case she doesn't feel up to it nearer the time - and, of course, if she does drop out completely then it's much easier to find a replacement.

For my sister she just wanted her close friend to be a part of her special day and by her side. She didn't ask or expect her to do anything other than be there. I did all the stressing and running around instead!

If she's happy to be a bridesmaid and you want her to be by your side then that is all that matters

another pic!

Hardly likely! I'm sure there are plenty of dresses out there that would be suitable. I would go dress shopping like planned and get some advice from the people in the shop and see what they say. My MOH is getting married a year after me and I am also going to be her MOH but there is a good chance if we decide to have a family soon after the wedding that I may be pregnant and I know for a fact she wouldn't dump me because of it.

I saw the picture in the first page, these bridesmaid dresses looks amazing !Ive it .

I guess we all have our different thoughts, but I would certainly not have wanted a heavily pregnant bridesmaid for our big day.

I know how you feel - my oldest friend told me about a month after we'd asked her that she was planning on trying to fall pregnant (so 10 months before the wedding) and then fell pregnant 8 months before the wedding. She was ADAMANT she would be there and I stressed immensely about it from the dress, to her being involved in the hen do, to having to arrange everything around her the day before (I wanted to go for a girly day but she was so pregnant she couldn't walk very far and in London it was difficult to find anywhere that didn't involve a tube journey or a long walk). I had had the conversation with her about how if she really didn't feel up to it nearer the time (it was her first) or her blood pressure decided to have a high rise and she was on bed rest this was all ok but she remained ADAMANT she would be there and she was which was lovely. Yes I was sad she couldn't be involved in quite the same way as I had been for her in the run up to her wedding but she was so determined to be there she kept from me that her blood pressure was on the rise but told all the other BM's and my mum so they put her on enforced bed rest even on the day to make sure she would be all right. Basically, if your BM wants to be there she will be - yes you will have moments of thinking "it is her first child, does she have any idea how she will feel?" but if she is anything like mine her determination to be at her best friends wedding will take over everything - all I would suggest is let her know that if she needs to step down for medical reasons that is ok and you will understand so if things do get tough the pressure is off her.

As for dresses, I had knee length empire line halter neck dresses that the BM got in a size bigger than she was when we bought them. We bought them in January which as it turned out was when she found out she was pregnant but we didn't know this at the time. By the wedding in September the dress fitted around the bump but was a bit shorter at the front than the back. The area I would recommend getting bigger is the bust - her boobs were massive and if we hadn't got the dress size up we would have struggled to fit her boobs in even if the bump was covered. She said the halter neck was great because it gave her more support than just a strapless dress and covered her neck area which gave her a bit more modesty/she felt less exposed. May be worth going for at least a size bigger with the idea it can be taken in - much easier than taking out.

AJ - you do realise it's no way near as dramatic as depicted in the films don't you? Its extremely unlikely that she'll start writhing in agony, with waters breaking and cascading down the aisle and I mad dash to the hospital in the wedding car, to arrive just in time for baby to make an appearance! If labour was to start in the ceremony (again at 37 weeks unlikely) it would more likely be a few cramps, niggling back pain etc. It's different for everyone but the liklihood of it causing a disturbance in the ceremony is slim!

OP, I think as this is her first, just remain flexible, as others have said don't expect much of her and be understanding if nearer the time she feels she'd just rather be a guest. I know for sure I underestimated what I could physically do and not do, as I imagine most first timers do.

Having only been married a few weeks I have no idea what "being pregnant" will consist of and how it will impact our lives.

I've peeked in the baby forum (not that we're "actively trying" yet anyway) and it's a scary place full of abbreviations and stuff, and I feel very lost...

Why?

I just don't feel it "looks right" at a wedding, that's all.

I realise my opinion is in the minority round here, and no doubt people will not understand, but then again neither do I need to justify my thinking.

Very strange way of thinking. Would it make a difference if the bridesmaid was married?

Not strange, just a perfectly valid opinion that happens not to be yours.

In this case, the marital status of the bridesmaid would be irrelevant.

One of my BM's was pregnant (still is...) on my wedding day - these are their dresses

and this is her - looking lovely i might say!

Hers was ordered before she found out she was pregnant and she had a panel put in the underskirt, with her last fitting 2 weeks before the wedding and it was all fine. Just order the dress a few sizes bigger and go for something empire line. x

No need to get like that AJ. I was just wondering why you have this opinion but since you wont justify it I'll never know.

?

I really did not expect this kind of response from you AJ. My sisters friend looked just as beautiful, if not more so than the other bridesmaid and myself!

What if she was around 4 months pregnant and is some peoples opinion just looked a little overweight? Would that not look right either?

Who knew that a woman with a big belly, in a pretty dress with a bunch of flowers could cause such upset?!

Sorry to take this thread off track but few points:

a) you don't need to be married to understand anything about babies and pregnancy, so using "recently married" as a reason is null and void in my opinion

b) It very much comes across that you knew nothing about pregnancy and labour, hence my comment so thought I would burst that little myth for you

and finally c) how very rude that a pregnant woman wouldn't "look right", would you rather pregnant woman lock themselves away for the last 3 months like they used to, so as not to offend your sensibilities??!??!?! I'm shocked and appalled by your attitude, there is nothing more beautiful and natural than a pregnant woman!

Soumates and Katalina you really are wasting your breath as AJ doesnt feel he needs to justify his opinion on here.

There's a big difference between "a little pregnant and you can hardly see it" and a "great big bump poking out and looking obvious".

As I said, I realise most people won't like or understand my thoughts... but that's life.

*biting my tongue*

Me too!!

Trickers - Having seen a few of AJ's opinions and the ensuing threads, I realise this but I just couldn't help myself on this one!

Tbh, while I don't necessarily agree, it's AJ's decision if he doesn't want pregnant bridesmaids at his wedding, and people don't need to take it as a personal insult. Some people don't think that plenty of other things don't "look right" but if you do then why does it matter?

Though I should definitely emphasise the point that has already been made that labour is usually a lot less dramatic than in films and unlikely to ruin a ceremony even if it does start then.