Hen Do advice of complaining hens

Ooh goodness what a palaver! It is my hen do in 4 weeks and I am also getting married in July. I basically told my MOH (my sister) what I wanted to do before we got everyone else involved. We then put it all in the message in the Whatsapp group and asked people if they wanted to go, we are doing one night in a spa hotel in Birmingham as I have friends in the north and south. I chose one night to keep the costs down. There are now 18 of us going.

I am still in the Whatsapp group LOL and I am having a bit of trouble with the transport now as a few people are moaning it is not easy to get to and we have to get a train or drive, they knew about the location last year! I recently researched the costs for a mini bus to take the southern ladies but a few are saying that is too pricey and obv the fewer that go in the bus the more expensive it is. So I do feel your pain, I am still looking forward to it, just need to sort out the transport. It doesn't sound like you can cancel now as you will lose money so that is a massive shame. It sounds like you will have to go through with it, but I would tell them that you are not happy about the mess they have left you in and I would not give them any money back either!

Try to make the best of it but definitely explain that you are disappointed, do not just let it go!

This is shocking they wanted to plan this for you and now arent interested x Dont cancel it enjoy your night with what girls are interested and make the most of it they will miss a good 2 nights so its their loss not yours xx 💗

I have had a not too dissimilar situation. I sent my MOH the details of the 8 ladies I wanted to come to the hen do and what I would like to do and then let her organise. Two couldn't make it off the bat but the rest agreed to whatever my MOH had planned. She then tried collecting deposits and half of them started complaining and wanting to move the whole thing to somewhere near them instead. My MOH wasn't sure what to do so asked me. I'll admit I was pretty upset. I always make the effort for anything that any of them put on, especially their weddings! I won't go into all the examples but one includes flying home from a job I had in France at the time to make the hen do! And yet they are complaining about a train journey 7 months from now. In the end I told my MOH to tell them (in a slightly kinder tone) not to bother if it is that much of a problem. And if that means it is just 4 of us in the end then so be it, at least I know those girls want to be there and the friendships that I can stop putting so much energy into because it's obviously not reciprocated. Again, quite upsetting but you grow and learn to be taken for granted in future. I say don't stress and just enjoy the night with whichever hens want to be there with you. And tell your MOH to take back the planing of it if there's anything left, you've got enough to be organising lol.

So sorry to hear this. If you weren’t going to lose money I would say cancel it. But I don’t think you should let this go. I would firmly, but politely, point out that this was all planned without you and it is unfair they are blaming you and being awkward when you had wanted a low key affair. It may feel awkward to do this but hopefully it will encourage the hens to take a bit of responsibility.

I'm sorry to hear that you are having a hard time 😔 people these day are constantly complaining and whining about everything and you can't even rely on anyone, due to myself constantly having to chase people about the invitations and meals, me and my fiancé we are skipping the traditional hen/ stag do and just do a family meal (30 people), less hassle and less money as each person will be paying their own, hope you can sort something out even if it is 5 of you, hope you have a great time. 😊