Hen do concern

The bridesmaids usually organise the hen, but it's the bride who gets to say who attends it. Your MOH was way out of order to invite someone without asking you, and you are 100% in the right to say you don't want this person to attend. I can't believe the cheek of her!

I would suggest giving MOH a list of the people you want to be invited and stressing it is ONLY for those people.

Massive cheek I agree! My sister (MOH) is organising my hen do but she asked me who to invite and I made the group chat on Whatsapp with the ladies I wanted to invite. I am still in that chat but I assume they probably already have a separate one for surprises for me as they keep joking about willie straws and strippers. My sis knows I would be annoyed if they got a stripper by the way- totally not my thing! LOL.

I suggested what we would do and we both researched a few venues as I wanted a spa overnight stay.

It is not being a bridezilla to sort your own guest list for your hen do!

You absolutely need to say something, you don't need to go in to the reasons, just tell your MOH that you don't want people at the hen that you are not that close too. My MOH asked me for a list of names and I said I didn't want anyone adding to it, just the people on the list. she asked about her sister, who I am friends with and is coming to the wedding, but I said no and she has accepted it. It is your Hen and you shouldn't be feeling stressed and anxious about it, stay strong and stand up for yourself, good luck

I can imagine the stress and that is not good it is causing you not to sleep. I hope you can speak to her and just tell her straight, you don't want that girl there and whilst she is organising it, it is YOUR hen and as your MOH I would hope she can respect your wishes. I think people have ideas and want to do the right thing but don't actually think about what the Hen wants! My MOH was going down the route of a weekend in Liverpool, bar hopping, which is my worst nightmare as I have massive anxieties going out and being in crowded places, plus I don't really drink! One of my other friends told me as she knew that my MOH was organising what she wanted to do and not what I wanted, which is a spa day and then a nice girls night in with cheese and wine! I had told her so many times I don't want to go away as I know some of my friends wont be able to afford it and I would rather do low key and things people can drop in and out of, in honesty I was really upset she wasn't listening and when I said what I wanted she looked a bit put out. We get married in April and she only messaged people last week despite us discussing it since last summer! I know a lot of people cant come now as there are only a couple of weekends free now before the wedding, also she is now pregnant so that has now cut her boozy weekend away idea, but she is now organising a weekend away locally and doing what I want, but it is still going away which I don't want! I don't want to sound ungrateful but I am past caring now so will just go with it, in honesty I would just not have one! good luck lovely X

At this stage, I'd be reconsidering who I had as my MOH. Can someone else say something to her, since you're not supposed to be involved in the group chat? It is just totally weird that she is deliberately going against your wishes a second time - either she is putting her friend's wishes above yours at your own hen do and wedding or she is the kind of person who is easily pushed around by stronger characters, and the 'friend' is bullying her into doing it. Either way, I'd be questioning her role in the bridal party by now.