How much is too much? Hen do dilemma!

My own hen do is likely to be the first one I go on too! I've said to the MOH to decide with the bridesmaids so the cost is something everyone feels like they can afford rather than being dictated by me (I have given some guiding info on the kind of vibe I'd like and anything I'd hate) - it'll be a surprise for me which is fun and also will hopefully be full of cheery hens rather than anyone feeling frustrated that they spent so much or anything like that

This has come up a few times recently on this forum- the cost of hen dos!

I've only been on about 4 I think and they ranged from a dinner and a night out drinking to staying overnight in Disneyland Paris (I can't remember how many nights we did either). I think the best thing to do is to sound out a potential cost with most of the hens and ask for honest feedback. My MOH (my sister) and I created a Whatsapp group for my hen do and got the date and a rough cost agreed at the outset. If people felt they couldn't attend then we offered them an "out" and said I would arrange something else with them. I had 4 people say they couldn't come but no one gave costs as a reason, it was most likely child/dog care or a holiday already planned. We are doing a spa hotel overnight, it is B&B with evening meal with one treatment thrown in for £170 which I didn't think was too bad. I was also keen not to make it sound like a lot of money or to ask people to take lots of time off work so we are only doing a Sat night for that reason.

In the past (pre Covid) I know hen do's that have gone to Vegas and for me that is too much to expect people to pay and too far to travel as well. The most important part is spending time with girlfriends/family and not how much it costs or how posh the hotel is!

Costs vary hugely - the important thing is to check with all the hens what they are comfortable paying. It doesn't matter if 90% of people are happy paying £300 for a hen weekend, if your hens can't afford more than £80, then £80 is what you need to stick to.

The hen dos I've enjoyed the most have been the ones which have been very low key and simple but with lots of opportunity to hang out together.

If most of your hens are local, you also have the option of letting people drop in & out as they wish. One of my friends had a lunch, pottery painting afternoon, evening meal followed by a nightclub. So older friends or those with childcare issues came to the earlier events & the younger ones turned up for the nighclub!

Hi Stephanie,

Thanks for your question! I'm the Community Manager here at Hitched and this wedding is all about you so it's totally up to you how you want to spend your Hen do! We have a lovely article here with 70 Hen Do ideas so well worth having a flick through if you are not wanting your guests to spend so much money

I hope that helps! Please let me know if you have any further questions

Hannah x

It varies so much. The only hen I remember being annoyed about is a one where we went on a spa day - minimum package was something like £150+ and then the bride, who has chosen not to have BMs and was organising it all herself, demanded we pay for her food/drinks including extra bottles of Prosecco etc.


I think being upfront is the best way. I’m having 2 hens dos - one of my close mates and I had planned to go to Ibiza for her significant bday in 2020 but that clearly didn’t happen so when I said I was engaged, she jumped on the idea to go for my hen (which conveniently coincides with her birthday this year). We’re keeping that one small though and I’m not upset if people decline that invite. I will also have a local night out so I can invite everyone and they can just pay for their own drinks - low key and simple as recommended above.