How To Ask For Money Instead Of Gift In A Polite Way. Advise Required..

Hi, we want money for the same reason, but we are not going to mention it in the invites. We are not putting anything about the presents on the invites... that way people will ask us or our parents and we will then say that we would like money and explain why.

The reason I say this is that the last 2 weddings we went to did this and it worked fine. The benefit is that anyone who is traditional and wants to get us a present can do, anyone else will ask. My friends who did this in December said that most people gave them money and they got a couple of bottles of champagne from the more traditional people.

Just a suggestion!

We also don't want gifts but didn't want a money poem either so will send the invitations out without a gift request and if anyone asks we will say a contribution for a little break would be welcome. Champagne and good wine sounds pretty good too ?

We are asking for money through a poem but i personally think it is a 'nice' one! it doesnt sem snotty or to the point but is kinda read between the lies IYKWIM!! i could post it if you want to see what you think?

Most of our guests are family and we could approach them and tell them we wanted money...we actually want it to decorate our bedroom! we lived togeter for 7 years and never had a new bedroom...all the items have been passed down or bought second hand (the only thing new is our mattress but thats only because i decided to have our youngest on it!) We did save up £500 2 years ago to do it..then i saw some fab bunk neds (fire engine!) and HAD to have them! so my sons are now on there 6th bedroom!! eldest is only 3 lol. x

This sounds like a good idea.

I was stumped as to what to do too

Heya, we were in the same situation as you, we live together and would appreciate money towards accomodation or trips on our honeymoon. We were really concerned that people wouldn't like us asking for money/cash, but in reality even if you gave someone a gift list from someone like Debenhams you would know how much the gift was that someone bought. So, I found some lovely money poems on ebay (don't groan those that hate them haha) but do you know what we only sent our invites out last weekend and we've had no end of great compliments on the poem they actually think its a great idea and not cheeky at all, they love them, which obviously made us happy that our guests liked them too.

Here is the wording on ours:

(It has our names on the top with our wedding date)

Please don't think we're selfish & that this request comes from greed

but we've lived together for a while so there's not much that we need.

We'd appreciate some help though, it'd really make our day, if you'd give a small donation

to let us have our honeymoon in a land quite far away.

And now you know the reason behind this cheeky accord, please help to give us memories of a dream honeymoon abroad!

Hope you find what you want and don't worry, the responses we've had have been nothing but positive and everyone loving the poem X

Hi, we put a note in saying that we had everything we needed for our house but if people wanted to get us something instead of buying a present they could put that amount towards our honeymoon fund via paypal, we also said if they wanted to actually purchase something we would leave it up to them for ideas.

Hey sweet,

Can you post your poem so i can have a sneak peak *only if you dont mind tho* xx

We're in exactly the same position too.

We may take Vixens advice and not mention it - and if people ask.. It sounds a difficult subject to bring up - we've been living together for a good time and have all the material things we need.

Mind you... lots of Champagne also sounds nice! ?

This is what we wanted to do as well so will hang around and get some ideas if you don't mind

Was this one for me?? I don't wanna but in if it wasn't haha ?

If it was and to stop loads of toing and froing, we got our poem from ebay, here is the seller (if that helps) there are quite a few to choose from and I can vouch for the quality they are really lovely, glossy and just the right thickness of card to put in your invites etc.

'theboudoirbridalboutique'

http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=290448181902&ssPageName=ADME:B:EOIBSA:GB:1123

Sorry if I sneaked in there haha X

Just had a quick look at that ebay shop LeeLee it looks fab! Thanks!! xx

No worries, glad to have helped ?

We simply put in small text at the back of our invitation pack, so it wasn't too obvious,

"The biggest and most enjoyable present you could give either of us is your attendance at our special day. However if you would like to contribute to either our deposit for a house or some Argos vouchers to help us furnish it once we get it, we will be delighted to accept your gift."

Giving people the option of tokens helps if there's a few bigger things you want; you're more likely to get 10 people give you £25 vouchers towards a new sofa, freezer or whatever than one person give you £250. If people were willing to buy a £20 toaster from Argos for you, I don't see why a £20 voucher which you can use towards a toaster, or something else, is such a big issue.

In other cultures, giving money is expected and the normal procedure, whether it's put in a money tree or pinned to the brides dress by guests, often totalling thousands of pounds which the couple then put towards a house, starting a business or whatever. It just seems to be in the UK we are too nervous to ask for money if it really is all we need, particularly if there are expensive things you need that are unlikely to be covered by one person.

Were putting in a poem not to be rude/cheeky or anything but we'd like a new sofa and blinds for the house- i dont like gift list cos i think thats rude asking for something say £100 if people want to contribute then that would be lovely- but those two things are what we would like..

We have used a money poem. I know that some people find these tacky, but I felt it was more polite using a poem rather than just coming out and asking for money.

This is the one we used

We are sending out this invitation,

In hope you will join our celebration.

But if a gift is your intention,

May we take this opportunity to mention.

We have already got a kettle and toaster,

Crockery, dinner mats, and matching coasters.

So rather than something we have already got,

We would appreciate money for our honeymoon pot.

But most importantly we request,

That you come to our wedding as our guest.