I can always rely on honesty on Hitched.

I was going to say that perhaps I wouldn't have posted a status like that, but I'm in shock that your H has removed you from FB! TBH I have been considering coming off FB (for many reasons) - perhaps you and your H could consider that? I'm not sure if you need it for your netball.

I would be mad if people left my house a mess, and I would certainly tell my OH. I wouldn't like it if the positions were swapped and my OH broadcasted it on FB. I would be appalled if my OH removed me from FB.

I think (without knowing any background) that there has been wrong on both parts, but that wouldn't be my focus. I'd need to know how things were going to work going forward.

He's being a Grade A twunt.

I'm never one for personal fb status updates but I don't blame you for posting what you did.

If he had done the normal thing and apologised for the mess and cleaned it up straight away then there wouldn't have been a problem would there? Instead, he left you with two choices: clean up his mess or sit around in filth all day.

He's treating your marital home like a doss house and I'd be f-ing livid about it.

I don't think it was out of line PP I would have been furious if my house had been left in that state. I am on Facebook quite a bit and see a lot worse statuses than that! My H wouldn't have the nerve to leave the house in that state rest assured I would have loads of pictures as evidence!! His mum, dad and aunties are all on Facebook too so if I was piissed off enough I probably would.

To be honest this sounds like its going a lot deeper than a Facebook status and he's overreacting. Hope things improve PP, I have no advice but ill offer a hug ☹️ xxx

I hope you don't mind me posting, especially as I am the 'new girl'

Personally I'm not a fan of people airing their laundry over facebook, however if I were one of your H's work mates I think I would just find it funny to be honest and would probably mention it, in a banter type of way. I don't think that it would have any kind of impact on him getting higher in his job.

Also I think your right that he is trying to turn on you, he has no right to scream at you and defect the issue away from what he did. I saw on your other post that he left your house in a right state (did you say there was blood on the walls?) To me that demonstrates a complete and utter lack of respect, I would go insane if my OH did that.

Lastly to delete you off facebook is just immature and ridiculous.

Hmmm... once it's on the internet it's there for ever.

I personally wouldn't have posted on FB however angry i was feeling, but that may be because I'm not that sort of user of FB anyway. Rarely bother with a status update and use it mainly to see photos of my family.

My view is that it was injudicious to put your righful anger in the public domain, but it highlights your H's need to grow up - both in the cleaning stakes and also deleting you from FB. It feels as though he is behaving like a teenager and perhaps you felt the need to drop to his level inthuis.

Is that too honest?

It's done now and maybe moving forward you need to agree some rules on FB use or resolving your issues between the two of you.

I'm sorry you are feeling so heart-broken. That's a beastly feeling. x

I will add that I don't think the fb status helped but I can completely understand why you wrote it.

If I had done that it would be in the full knowledge that H would go ballistic but this isn't the first time he's treated your house like an after hours bar so I don't really see how he can be so high and mighty about it.

So in summary, maybe you shouldn't have written the facebook status but what he has done to prompt the status and his reaction since are a hundred times worse.

If he's got people from work on FB I can see why he'd be annoyed if they've mentioned it - however, he shouldnt have left the house in such a state - thats prob what he's embarrased about - that his work friends know how he treats you and your home.

I think removing you from FB is a bit much. It seems to run deeper than just a facebook status rant! x

TBH, if it was me, i'd have added pics on to that status. He thinks he can treat your home (and indeed, you) like that, and not have to deal with his behaviour. He embarrassed that you called him out on it, and that his friends saw it? Good. He shoul be bl00dy well ashamed.

Deleting you was just pathetic, and very childish. I don't have my H as a FB friend, but that was something we decided on within a few months of our relationship starting, not because I embarrassed him on a status.

100% this. I cant imagine how cross & hurt you were on sat night / sunday. You dont deserve this.

I dont think I would have let the people conerned know how much it annoyed me though. Boys dont care.

And yes I do think your OH is trying to deflect the situation and blame but being a total d!ck to you.

I'm not sure that the FB status has helped your situation now, but I can totally understand why you felt the need to do it. I think instead of having a go at you about it he should be apologising for the way he had treated you and your home. He is obviously just embarrassed as people from work now know how immature he is.

Erm, TO be honest I wouldnt have put that on facebook. You are adults and it should be sorted out in private in my opinion.

I'm not saying he hasnt been a grade A idiot, but there are better ways to deal with things.

Judging from the problems and arguments you have had over recent months are would say this is another event that is a symptom of the main problem, rather than being the problem itself, and the two of you need to recognise that and do something about it before your marriage goes down the toilet.

I know I dont post alot, but I do lurk, and I hope my opinion doesnt upset you or offend you, its meant in the best possible way. x

I'm sitting on both sides of the fence.

Your house was a mess, he was being a twat about it, you have every right to be angry about that and yes, he should clean up his own mess. However posting about it on fb probably inflamed the situation.

Regardless of whether you should or shouldn't have posted it though he's still being a twat and to delete his own wife off fb is ridiclous. He needs to grow up.

1. I wouldn't have posted that on FB. Or, if I really wanted to make a point, I would have phrased it very differently (maybe a slightly sarcastic "Thanks to all the boys who left my house in a tip!"). I'm not keen on conducting personal business over FB (or in any public domain). So, in short, I think this was a wrong move on your part.

2. He probably shouldn't have deleted you. That's a bit reactionary. But to be honest, I could see my Boy doing the same, if he felt my status updates (which occur approx. once every year) were affecting his work life.

What I dont understand is I posted it on Saturday, I got home last night and he asked how my Netball match was and had made me dinner. If he was that mad, wouldn't he have not done all of that?

And why has he only just mentioned it if it's been up since Saturday?

If it was only a little mess maybe I could see his point but what you described I think a fb status was getting off easy!! I think I would have wanted to do a lot worse to him if I had blood over my walls and stuff spilled over the floor.

That does sound odd. Was it after dinner he went mental?

Run us through the time frames Pompey?

I went to hug him after he'd asked about my netball match and he pulled away and said he was mad at me.

His mates at work have obviously been taking the piss out of his which is why he has probably decided to get in a strop about it.

I really don't like overly personal statuses on facebook, especially if a couple have had an argument as 9/10 it's all blown over in a couple of hours and then it's on there for the world to see. Saying that, in the heat of the moment and the way you were feeling I completely understand why you put it.

If it was me, I would try talking to him and suggest that maybe you were wrong to put that on facebook but tell him that the way he treated you're house and the state he left it in was completely out of order. Surely he can see that?!

Maybe it was his work colleagues mentioning it at work yesterday that really pi**ed him off?

The timing seems really strange. If people have mentioned it to him he's probably embarrassed and that's why he's annoyed. Did somebody comment on the status or did he speak ot text somebody right before he went off on one?

i wouldn't have put a status like that up on FB but that's just the type of person I am. I've seen far worse status updates than that though.

I think the fact that he's unfriendly you is childish not to mention sad.

Agree with everything that has been said. Yes, the FB status probably didn't help the situation, but it wasn't the cause of it.

It seems like your H is looking at a way of turning things around and rather than accept that it was his fault for leaving the mess for you to clean up in the first place he is implying that you are the one that has done something massively wrong by posting on FB.

I don't have FB but would hate it is H removed me from his friends list for something so petty.

Just as an employment point, when i am recruiting people to work with me, I DO look at their FB pages for clues as to their character and interests etc.

Personally, I wouldn't have posted the status and it is a bit petty but I can see why you did. If he saw it on the weekend and didn't say anything someone has obviously said something at work which is why he's now decided he has such a big problem with it.

Deleting you is ridiculous.

Got home about half 10, walked in the door and he was there. Asked if he was okay, he said yes. He asked how we got on, I got very excited as we spanked the team we are playing and showed him the scorecard.

About 10 minutes later went into the kitchen as he said he'd made me dinner so went to hug him and then he said he was 'livid' with me. Argued for about half an hour, I got fed up, went upstairs and packed an overnight back whilst talking to my Mum. Mum said much the same as you have and then told me some bad news about my Nana so I was distraught. I went downstairs to have a shower and he was watching TV. I said to him: "Mum's just told me that the DRs think Nan's cancer has spread as she's found a lump in her breast". He ignored me. Totally blanked me. So I cried myself through a shower and then cried myself to sleep.

Me too. And once I realised this resource, I completely rejigged my FB page.

Sorry about your nan Pompey.

That is mean, to ignore you like that.

How would you see it though? i.e. If my profile is private?

This. My stuff is totally private to non-friends. H's problem is he's friends with some of his managers on FB. Why even accept them? There's pictures on there that are worse than my status.

I still don't understand why he would cook you dinner if he was "livid". It makes no sense to me at all. Do you think he was just trying to deflect what had happened and he didn't mean it to escalate into a massive argument? What did he say after your shower? Have you spoken today?

You'd be surprised how many people don't have private profiles.

He ignored you when you had just heard such sad news about your nan?! I'm speechless PP. Sod all the petty rows, they can be forgotten. That however, can not. He's too childish to comfort his own wife when she has had such upsetting news? Beyond belief.

PP- I cannot believe how childish he is.

I wish I knew of something that would get him to pull his socks up- I don't think I could live with such a total lack of respect.

So so sorry to hear about your Nana love xxx