I overhead two women at work bitching about me earlier...

So sorry that you had to go through this - it really sucks when work colleagues behave like this.#

Personally, having been on the end of work place bullying, I wouldn't let it lie.

When you go in on Monday I would make it very clear that you heard what they said and advise them that if they have an issue with why you got the job they should take it up with the manager, tell them there is nothing wrong with pronouncing your words correctly, I don't know if you are horsey or not (I am a bit horsey with big teeth so I would just say yep, I'll let you have that one, thanks for stating the obvious) and then round it up with 'Jack's marrying me beause I'm great in bed and he loves me! Then tell them to grow up!'

Or alternatively just mention it to your boss so that she/he can monitor the situation and also support you if it happens again!

Ooooohhhhhhh!! If I had heard work colleagues bitching about me I would have walked straight over to them mid conversation and asked what their problem was.

There is no way I could have sat and listened.

It's clearly, jealousy and you'll probably get people on here say to rise above and all that clap trap but there is no way that I could.

I'd have confronted them there and then, once they'd finished, they'd have been mortified. Nothing worse than bitches.

Jealousy is a nasty thing to have to deal with.

I'm quite sure that they are quite mortified that they got caught. I would just smile and be nice as pie and tell them that Jealousy is a gorgeous colour on them!

People who b!tch about other people usually don't have anything good going for themselves and the only way to make themselves happy is to bring others down.

Rise above it hun! Your are superior to them in more ways than just the promotion!

Also! My favourite retort is 'If you have something nasty to say about me. Write it down on a piece of paper, roll it up, and shove it up your ar5e, because i don't give a sh!t!!'

I wanted to get up and say something, but I just seemed to freeze at my desk.

Then when my manager said I could go, I just got out as quickly as I could.

Oh that sucks NYR. I know it's easy to say 'don't take it to heart' but it would upset me a lot too. That said, I do think it's just normal office bitching- they clearly have nothing else to do and are just jealous of your promotion. Regardless of how old she is, she missed out on the promotion because you were the better candidate - that's life!

I wouldn't approach them about it (well actually, I probably would but I think that is the wrong thing to do! ?). They know you overheard and they probably feel bad about it as although they were having a little moan I doubt they wanted to upset you. If they do mention it (which I doubt they will) I would just tell them that's it's forgotten about and you want to move on. I wouldn't make a formal complaint - it sounds like just a petty little moan between friendw which, let's face it, we all must be guilty of once in a while and making it formal could make things a whole lot more uncomfortable. These people are just work colleagues. Yes, you need to have a polite and professional relationship with them but you don't need to be friends.

Re. the personal comments aimed at you, they are nasty and hurtful but they are absolutely not true. I've seen pics of you and you are beautiful. Fact. They are just jealous old bats who have got sour grapes because you are everything that they are not.

32 is NOT old HT!

Haha no it most definitely is not, in my defence I was interrupted mid-post by a phonecall and thought I'd read they were older... I shall edit ?

Hindsight is a wonderful thing but I would have recorded them on my phone if the conversation went on long enough.

I wouldn't have been able to leave wihout letting them know I heard them though and watch them grovel. It is a shame people have to resort to bitching about other people they clearly do not really know. Jealousy is a nasty disease.

How rude! What awful people.? I'd be very upset if that happened to me and too shy to go and say anything to them.

I would go and speak to your manager though. I don't think bitchiness like that is acceptable in the workplace. Like JoJo says, write it down while it is fresh in your mind and then go and see her on Monday morning. I don't know if you want anything done particularly - I'm not sure I would, but at least it will have been noted.

And there is nothing wrong with speaking properly either! It just shows you do your job well Rose, as they clearly can't find fault there and have resorted to petty remarks about your appearance and fiance.

Indeed.

Some people seem to need to put others down in order to make themselves feel better. Be grateful you're not one of those, NYR, they'll be the ones left wanting, not you. It can't have been nice though so have a hug.

This I'm afraid. You need to deal with these things at the time.

I know it's not nice, but think of it this way. They must be really jealous of you to say those things.

It's so hard to know what to do and I am very guilty of letting people get away with these kinds of things so I can't really offer any advice.

What I can say though is that I have said things about people in the past that I don't really mean, be it that I am trying to make someone else laugh, trying to make myself feel better, feeling a bit narked with that person for one reason or another or it may be that i am just in a foul mood. So from that angle I would say, try not to take any of it to heart (although i am not sure I could follow my own advice here!) because they probably don't even mean it. It just sounds like sour grapes because you are younger in a more senior position, something which you should be very proud of.

Hadn't seen this before I posted, but this! People who belittle others always do so out of insecurity or jealousy. Fact.

I wouldn't make a big deal out if it to be honest, show you are better than them by ignoring it. You'll probably find that they'll go out of their way to be extra nice to you and they will feel much worse than you do. You get talked about all the time in life, not you personally I mean all of us, you were just unfortunate to over hear it.

All of you who said you would ignore it are a much better person than me!

I knew I would get wise and impartial words on here, that's why I posted.

If I spoke to friends, they'd take it as personally as I have, and their advice could possibly be clouded because of that.

Now I've managed to "get it all out" and calm down a bit, I'm starting to think a bit more rationally (in part due to the advice on here), and I think I will leave it this time.

I would still make a note of what was said and be prepared to keep a record from now on, just in case you do decide to talk to your boss about it in future.

I feel the opposite. I would love to be able to stand up for myself and hold my own in a confrontational situation without turning into a blubbering mess.

If they do it again, I'd go straight up to them and say something along the lines of "I heard that!" and leave it at that, if you can. Firm enough to tell them you're not going to take any cr@p from them, but not agressively so that it starts an argument.

I would handle things differently as work than I would in my personal life.

I would have walked passed them so they knew I had heard and then not mentioned it again. They will feel worse than you do, and totally what Cricks and RB said.

Anyone that has to put someone else down only shows insecurity. I have only pity for such people.

This. If you do end up making a formal complaint in the future, you'll need a proper note of what has happened previously. Time and date too.

I've always been good at standing up for myself. I'm also quite fiery so know for a fact if I heard someone talking about me at work I would have stood up and gone up and stood by them until they noticed me. I would still act professional but they would "get it".?

Yes I will be mentioning it to my manager, to make a note of it, I meant to put that.

I've had a look at the relevant section in the employee HR guide, and it says, "you can report an incident to your manager for noting but request it not be taken further at this stage" and it goes on to say, "we advise you to do this, should there be further incidents, which would then require action to be taken."

You could tie them to their chairs with pink ribbon! I'm sure I still have a spool of that somewhere!

My emotions always get the better of me and no matter how hard I try not to, if i am really angry I just cry.

No blue ribbon, pink's for girls and I'm well 'ard.

I meant more from a law firm perspective!

Ahhhhhhh I see!

Sounds like the best way to deal with it. Your manager will be aware but it won't cause awkwardness, and you at least get to air it to someone.

I'm rubbish at standing up for myself. I always end up getting really worked up then crying!

I agree this would be the best way to deal with this. I think I'd have probably done the exact same as you. I'd like to think that I would confront them, but I can imagine I would have frozen too. And it definitely sounds like jealousy to me.

I once heard my future SIL and one of my friends saying stuff about my OH in a pub toilet when they didn't realise I was in the cubicle. I couldn't even say anything then, and I'm actually close them! I told them a couple of days later, they were really apologetic!

It's just 2 jealous women who would never have the balls to say any of that to your face, I wouldn't let it get you down.

My boss once text me on my day off asking me to come in and do some meaningless chore which was by no means my responsibility yet would have taken me about 3 hours to do, I said no as I was busy (which I was) but at the time I was actually in the restaurant having a light lunch with my mum. He didn't realise this and came charging downstairs bitching about me to the other manager saying I had to commitment to the place blah blah. The funny part was when the guy he was talking to actually pointed out I had probably heard every word I had said so he soon scurried off without even bothering to come see me. I was fuming.