My sister announced last year that she was going to have a small intimate wedding abroad. It happened that both the location (Antigua) and the hotel (a sandals resort) she chose were quite expensive. However, despite this fact I and my partner were never ONCE asked if this was within our price range. Instead as close relatives we were just expected to pay whatever the required cost. Which to be honest did always seem a tad wrong given that she and her partner could not actually afford this specific location and hotel themselves, and were thus both being funded by my dad.
I suppose as she know me and my partner technically have sufficient savings she just expects that there is no issue as they can easily be used. The thing though is we both work AT LEAST 20 hours a week (in addition to our normal full time jobs) to help build up our own business. We want our savings for this business which we hope will bring us a lifetime of happiness, and not just 1 week. For this reason we scrimp and save in every aspect of our lives from food to clothes to travel on a daily basis. The most either of us have ever spent on a 7 day holiday together per person is £550 (all in) and this holiday will be about double.
Looking for ways to make her 1 week wedding affordable (and not to affect our future plans) we looked at self catering accommodation nearby. However, we (and others who tried to do this) were instructed we MUST stay in the hotel she was! We therefore came to the conclusion it would be best to make this trip, in addition to the 1 week wedding, our main holiday of the year (1.5yrs). We decided we would leave the expensive hotel after the one week and stay in a very cheap bed and breakfast on the other side of the island for 2 weeks. This would then bring the per day cost down to about £65pounds person which was much more reasonable.
We were then in further financial luck as there was a good flight deal to the island recently. We wanted to book this, and called my sister to check everything was OK with this, which he said yes to. However, half an hour later she text to say she had changed her mind and she didn’t want us to stay on the island the same length of time as her.
She was adamant that we should change the flights immediately, despite the fact that to do so would cost us £120 each. As much as this pained us, especially as she not once offered to help with the £120 changing fee we were happy to change to 10 days so she was there 4 days longer than us (to make her honeymoon the more special trip). This, however, was not short enough still for her and it eventually came out that she really didn’t want us staying a single extra day. She just wants us to come to the expensive wedding, as that is what the focus should be on, and then go. Staying any longer is disrespectful to her and grossly devalues her wedding and honeymoon.
What is everyone’s thought on this? Are me and my partner missing something? She seems completely irate and firm in her belief that we are wrong for not being willing to spend £2200 on a week. She says everyone else (4 other guests) are happy to do it and can't understand why we are not. When it comes to an only sister should you be willing to spend above and beyond what you normally would if you do have the money? Are we wrong too in trying to make this trip better value for money for ourselves?
Any comments would be great! Feel free to ask any questions to and I will try to answer ASAP!
I suppose as she know me and my partner technically have sufficient savings she just expects that there is no issue as they can easily be used. The thing though is we both work AT LEAST 20 hours a week (in addition to our normal full time jobs) to help build up our own business. We want our savings for this business which we hope will bring us a lifetime of happiness, and not just 1 week. For this reason we scrimp and save in every aspect of our lives from food to clothes to travel on a daily basis. The most either of us have ever spent on a 7 day holiday together per person is £550 (all in) and this holiday will be about double.
Looking for ways to make her 1 week wedding affordable (and not to affect our future plans) we looked at self catering accommodation nearby. However, we (and others who tried to do this) were instructed we MUST stay in the hotel she was! We therefore came to the conclusion it would be best to make this trip, in addition to the 1 week wedding, our main holiday of the year (1.5yrs). We decided we would leave the expensive hotel after the one week and stay in a very cheap bed and breakfast on the other side of the island for 2 weeks. This would then bring the per day cost down to about £65pounds person which was much more reasonable.
We were then in further financial luck as there was a good flight deal to the island recently. We wanted to book this, and called my sister to check everything was OK with this, which he said yes to. However, half an hour later she text to say she had changed her mind and she didn’t want us to stay on the island the same length of time as her.
She was adamant that we should change the flights immediately, despite the fact that to do so would cost us £120 each. As much as this pained us, especially as she not once offered to help with the £120 changing fee we were happy to change to 10 days so she was there 4 days longer than us (to make her honeymoon the more special trip). This, however, was not short enough still for her and it eventually came out that she really didn’t want us staying a single extra day. She just wants us to come to the expensive wedding, as that is what the focus should be on, and then go. Staying any longer is disrespectful to her and grossly devalues her wedding and honeymoon.
What is everyone’s thought on this? Are me and my partner missing something? She seems completely irate and firm in her belief that we are wrong for not being willing to spend £2200 on a week. She says everyone else (4 other guests) are happy to do it and can't understand why we are not. When it comes to an only sister should you be willing to spend above and beyond what you normally would if you do have the money? Are we wrong too in trying to make this trip better value for money for ourselves?
Any comments would be great! Feel free to ask any questions to and I will try to answer ASAP!
