Hi everyone,
Sorry for adding a not super happy subject here.
I got engaged in 2021 and I've known all along who my bridesmaids would be; my sister, and my two closest friends Z & H ( who were both there with me through one of the most horrific periods of my life), one of whom (H) is part of a wider circle of five of us who are all friends together, none of whom know Z.
Cut to last week, and H reluctantly told me that one of our friends has been really grumpy about the fact that she wasn't asked to be a bridesmaid for quite some time now, and that she has been spreading it around their workplace (where I also used to work so know a lot of the people). I got really worried and asked my other friends if they felt hurt or left out and they were completely chill and said that they never thought that they would be asked in the first place. H has tried to sort of talk her down and not shove in her face that she was chosen etc. But it's escalated and now this person is being so possessive over me and really starting to get catty, she is saying things like 'I don't even want to talk to Z at the wedding because she is the competition' etc.
I am generally a really easy going person, or at least I try to be, and our wedding is going to be a really laid back affair, I just want everyone to enjoy themselves. I'm so angry with her for thinking this is an acceptable way to behave, and talk about someone she hasn't ever even met before, and not even speaking to me about it like an adult, just spreading it around instead.
It's got to the point now where I'm so cross with her I don't even want her at my wedding. It's like, I'm 30 years old, why are you behaving like we're 8?
I would completely get why she would be so angry if I had given her even an inkling that she would be a bridesmaid but I haven't, because I always knew who they would be. I'm also a really private person, so it's not as if all of my friends are super involved in the planning. She just seems to take it really personally that I don't behave towards her the way she wants me to and it's really draining. It's not that I spend less time with her than any of my other friends, I'm just happy in my own company, but she says that my lifestyle 'doesn't work for her' so she just keeps pushing in.
My Mum reckons I should just leave it, and I'm so not a confrontational person, so I rarely speak up about this stuff but this is my wedding, also why should she get away with being horrible to my oldest friend because of her own insecurities and not have any consequences?!
I suppose my question is, how would you approach this? Would you speak to her and give her a chance to sort herself out, or would you speak to her and just tell her she isn't invited now?
Sorry for the ranty message I'm just driving myself mad trying to figure out what to do about it.
Thanks everyone x
