Kilts !!

Yes I think it would be wrong to be honest. You might not like some of the dresses your guests choose to wear but you wouldn't tell them they couldn't wear them.

I think you need to let people wear what they want.

You could ban them, or select a very nice suit for the bridal party and ask them all to wear that. Howver, I think if there are die-hard Scots among them you could end up with some very disgruntled people and cause yourself more stress than anything else.

I'm Irish and OH is Scottish, we live in Scotland and are marrying there so will have lots of kilts at the wedding. (I like the kilts but that bonnie prince charlie jacket gives me the heebie-jeebies) OH is so proud of it that he is trying to persuade all of my family to wear kilts too (he can try but I doubt he will succeed), he is incredibly passionate about it.

It really depends on how much you hate the kilts v how willnng you are to potentially upset/annoy your inlaws. Perhaps you can leave the decision and subsequent communication with OH? If he doesn't want it then it would be much easier for him to influence it?

Good luck!

Agree with Kharv completely.

I don't understand why you are worried about the kilts being loads of different colours and not matching, when I'm sure all of your guests will be wearing different colours too.

Are your OHs cousins all part of the bridal party? - This is the only reason as to why I could think it would matter if the colours matched or not.

Eeek! Really? You would try to dictate (ok, not exactly what you said, but the sentiment is there) the colour the mothers wore? Would you like anyone to dictate the colour you wore as a wedding guest?

As for the kilts, I think you need to understand and appreciate the family history behind them a bit more. It would be very very odd for a group of men at a gathering to all be in the same kilt! Matching simply isn't the point. To have unrelated men in matching kilts would be about as weird as having unrelated women all taking the same surname for a special event.

Now, if you really really must be quite so controlling, there may be another option. My father's main tartan is red, and I don't like it. The hunting tartan, however, is a beautiful sage/hunter green mix. Gorgeous. So could they see if there is a version of their tartans that would blend in a little more?

Wow that is a bold statement to make on a board full of scottish people

My colour scheme is purple, my OH is wearing a purple tartan kilt which I picked & think is beautiful.

Perhaps google some kilt maker websites & see how many different kind of kilts there are these days & how modern & fashonable they can be. That will hopefully change your mind as I agree with the others, it would be entirely unfair to ban them.

A kilt is part of a Scottish mans family heritage and to ban them I think would upset them. I love seeing all the different colours that you can get out there, one of the best photos we have from our wedding is of all the men in their kilts. You might even find that they may not have smart suits as the kilt outfit is their formal wear.

My H and his BM were at a friend's Indian wedding in Delhi, they wore their kilts and people loved seeing them.

I think you are being very harsh on them IMO.

If you really want to dictate you can say that he can wear a kilt but as your colour scheme is say black and ivory (or black and red as was for my wedding) you can request that the kilt wearers wear something like this:

Our best man has a red family kilt and due to me having a red dress I requested that he wear the same as the rest of the bridal party. He was more than happy to do that for us.

I feel you are being very dismissive of your future father inlaws hertitage, I think you should respect his wishes & get on with it

If you are marrying into this family I am sure you are going to see him a kilt at many occasions so might aswell get used to it!

Oh for goodness sake! Really??! (what I actually was thinking was "don't be so silly!") What if those colours don't suit your guests? What if they already have an outfit they want to wear that doesn't match your colours? What if they simply don't want to be dictated to? You won't believe me, i'm sure, but on the day you won't even notice what people are wearing. Or if you do, you won't care! Matchy matchy guests do not look good in wedding photos anyway, they just look like an extended bridal party, and I'd far far rather guests were happy and comfortable rather than wearing something they are dictated to wear.

Exactly this.

Oh dear... I honestly cant believe you are trying to tell people which colours they can and cant wear.

I think you may be loosing sight of what your wedding day should actually be about.

I have got to say i think it is a tad unreasonable to state what colours etc people have to wear, it is a day about the two of you celebreating your love and your closest friends and family witnessing it, I don;t think it is the place to start telling people what to wear

My fiance is Welsh and he wants to wear his family name Welsh kilt (i didn't even know the Welsh wore kilts, shows how ignorant i have been!). Well you can;t hire the family name kilts you can only buy so we are paying out over £1000 for his wedding day outfit, the colours are blues and greens on his kilt, we cannot afford to buy them for his groomsmen and my Dad as well so they are wearing a generic tartan, which is black and grey. The venue is all purples and pinks (the Belle Epoque in Knutsford) so I have no idea what colour to dress my bridesmaids in so it all ties together, but I have to say it is a lot more important to me that my partner is happy and all the guests are happy in what they are wearing rather than them all having to match one another like a school uniform!

I wouldn't let it bother you what anyone else wears colour wise, just be happy they are all wanting to spend the special day with you, that's the most important thing

As ive had said to me over a fake tan issue if you want to dictate how people dress on your wedding you have to be prepared to pay for it!

Even so i dont think you can dictate what people wear to your wedding, take it from a scottish person if you try and ban kilts you may end up with your guests not even coming

Oh I don't blame you kilts and tartan are hideous!

That said a blanket ban is a bit off when considering the particular heritage you are marrying into.

I think the idea of a ban is harsh (although I am Scottish so may be bias about kilts!)

My OH is English as are alot of our friends so the 120 or so guests at our wedding works out approx 50% Scottish and 50% English and a few Welsh/Irish/Manx. I have been actively encouraging all of the men to wear kilts and have told them to pick any tartan they want. I am a BIG Rangers fan but I already know for sure that 10-15 people in my family are planning on wearing the Celtic tartan - do I care? No, because I wouldn't dream of telling my guests what to wear.

I honestly believe what a few of the other posters said, that you will hardly care what anyone is wearing on the day anyway.

Oooh! We've not had an 'I'm going to dictate what everyone wears to my wedding' thread in a while! *sits back ready to enjoy the show*

Wow indeed, Well said.

You have lost sight of what is important here and you need to get a grip and respect the heritage of the family you are marrying into instead of just worrying how your pictures will turn out.

I totally agree with barefoot and other posters, it should be about the people not the clothes they wear.

This is ridiculous! You cannot possibly dictate to people what they can wear to a wedding. Well, you can, but they might not attend your wedding! Surely what is important is that people are there to celebrate with you? That they are comfortable in their own outfits? Not that they are totally offended by your request that they wear a certain colour or suit?

I will follow this thread with interest, and popcorn!

Here. Bit funny tasting at first, but then very moreish.

OP I really don't think you should ban kilts. It could potentially offend many members of your future husband's family, and isn't a wedding all about good feeling, welcoming 2 families to be joined and so on? If you really hate them get your TOG to airbrush them out or something, or only have shots of the 2 of you in your album, but I really wouldn't risk alienating your intended in-laws.

This. If you want the bridal party to match then you can pay for it.

I don't think you can tell any other guests what tartan they can or can't wear. Kilts cost a lot of money to buy and I'd be pretty miffed if someone told my OH he couldn't wear his kilt because they didn't like the colour.

Wow!! i woud never dream of telling people what to wear to a wedding!! these guests are there to celebrate your day and enjoy themselfs, no doubt they will buy you nice gifts and make the day special for you and you want to tell them not to wear a kilt because it doesnt tie in with your colour scheme?!

What does your OH think about this? is he happy to tell his own relitives they are no welcome if they intend to proudly sport a kilt??

Totally this!

Never ceases to amaze me how shallow some people can be!! I've got far better things to do than give a *** what anyone outside of the bridal party is wearing.

If you were having a wedding abroad no you wouldnt expect people to pay to go, people who could afford to go and who dont mind travelling would go that is what people are trying to say,of course its your wedding you can dictate what people to wear but dont expect alot of people to come to it

this.

im having a beach wedding and contarary to what was said, i told people that i understand the expenses in travelling so dont expect people to go, however if they wish to come for the ceremony then they are welcome to, i would never tell people they have to fork out to come to my wedding, wether this would be asking them to travel out of pocket or buying an outfit that suited my colour scheme

the only person i am dictating colour to is my bridesmaid who i am paying for, if she didnt like the dress then she would not have to be a bridesmaid, i just cant imagine saying to a regular guest that they cant come during the day/be in a photo unless they wear clothes that suit me... its just not something ive ever imagined or rven heard of doing

You do have a point MissGreenwood, although when involving travel or costumes you would probably expect to have some guests decline.

If your FIL just wanted to wear a kilt for the laugh (as some people do) then it would be more understandable. However, as he has been known to wear it to black tie events I think it is obvious that this is his formalwear of choice and he sounds very proud to wear it. Therefore any attempt by you to prevent this could lead to upset or resentment on his part.

At the end of the day, it's your wedding and if you want everybody dressed as smurfs or everybody in football gear standing on their heads it is your call and your guests can make their own decision on whether to oblige or not. Just don't let a fashion decision affect a relationship that will last a lot longer than your wedding day.

I hardly think people are being crazy here. Hitched is a very honest place, and if people think you are doing something unreasonable, they will tell you. I know on other boards it's all "Your day your way hun xxx" but thankfully we're not.

I don't think anyone on here would suggest it's acceptable to expect lots of guests to travel abroad for a wedding, or to fork out for a particular type of costume. You are inviting guests to share your celebration, not selecting people for a photoshoot. Banning kilts because you don't like them or don't think they will look good in photos is pretty offensive, and demanding guests buy a new outfit to fit in with your colour scheme will cause lots of grumbles and bad feelings, even if nobody says anything to you. Plus, IMO, it would look a lot sillier if you got everyone to try and match and had a party full of slightly clashing different shades of purple/blue/whatever rather than just letting people wear what they want.

I dont see why the men all need to match? Am I being thick?

Oh and be thankful the tartan isnt this one;

Ahhh Mini can you post a public service warning before posting any such pictures in future please i need my sunglasses for this one!

Hahaha funkyone, this is the tartan for my family name.....luckily I live on the south coast and as such dont have to witness anyone wearing it! If I lived in Scotland would need sunglasses at all formal events.

FIL did wear a tie in this tartan to our wedding though- his dad was Scottish so theres the link!

Because the OP wants unity in her colour palette! Doesn't everyone? *rolling eyes smiley (cause my iPad wont let me do it!)*

ah yes! Silly me! What must she think of my wedding where none of the menfolk matched at all?! *shocked face icon*