Mil2b's outfit

I would be be positive and say it is lovely and would really suit her but you would worry she would blend in with the BM's and you want her to be a part of the day but wouldn't want her to feel she is blending in the background Can she maybe see if they do it in another colour that would make her stand out a bit more?

I understand as we have gone emerald green colour scheme and would feel unsure if any of my guests including both my mum & FMIL bought a dark green dress to wear. I would perhaps compare it to your bridesmaid dresses, if it is similar I’d say it’s lovely but too close to bridesmaid dresses but if it’s quite different I’d just let her wear it. Main thing is you’re marrying the love of your life

I think the best thing to do is have a chat explaining your feelings about the dress she asked for your opinion so you only doing what she asked xx 💗 good luck x

I don't think anyone is going to mistake your MIL for a bridesmaid, so I really wouldn't worry about it. But I wasn't worried about what people wore to my wedding full stop - I wouldn't have cared if half the guests had turned up in white dresses!

If it's really going to bug you, then I would do as Charlotte suggests and pitch it as concern that she won't 'stand out' enough for someone who has such an important role in the wedding as one of the mothers.

If it's nagging on you even a little bit those feelings will grow the closer you get to the day. I'd say something, definitely. How about: "Thanks so much for checking. It's a gorgeous dress, does it come in any other colours? Something similar in a different colour way would look lovely on you. I'd really appreciate it if only my bridesmaids were wearing dresses in the wedding colour scheme though. Thanks for being so considerate!"

Does it bother you?… Personally, I’m not bothered what colour people wear (except if they wore a bridal gown). I would actually have thought “oh that’s sweet that she’s buying something on the wedding theme” and wouldn’t have thought of it as a faux pas, but specifically as a thoughtful gesture. Is there a chance she thought the same as me?
However, if it does bother you, you should say something. You could even consider telling her (or asking FH to tell her) that it is a faux pas. Imagine putting your foot in your mouth without meaning to, and how embarrassing it would be! I’m sure she wouldn’t want that!

Thanks for all of your suggestions. I like the idea of suggesting that she chose something to 'stand out' from the bridesmaids - I know it's coded language but just seems nicer than telling her not to wear something!

She quite clearly won't be taken for a bridesmaid, but I feel that her choice limits what my mum could wear to also 'tone in' with the day. It's not really an issue that I have with MIL2B wearing the colours but I can tell that it's a real issue for my mum. As she is giving us a significant amount of money for the wedding and my dad passed away just over a year ago I want to make sure that she has the best day possible too without any concerns!