Mix up the table plan??

We divided guests into my family, his family, my friends, his friends and mixed them up, although I've made sure that everyone will have at least one person they already know at their table. At my brother's wedding they put our family together, her family together, etc, and I don't think it worked. I think if people are just with people they already know, there's no incentive for them to mix with others, so the whole evening will just be people sticking together in cliques with no mingling. There will be plenty of opportunity for people to talk to their friends/relatives after the meal, once people are moving around.

Weddings are great places for people to get chatting with complete strangers because everyone has at least one thing in common: you! They can tell each other embarrassing stories about the bride and/or groom to break the ice.

We mixed it up about 80%. If I was doing it again (which I won't!) I'd mix it 100%, works great at a wedding

We aren't mixing anyone up - its my family / friends together, then OH's.

This thread has made me question whether we should mix it up though...

Personally i don’t like mixing it – i understand why people do it but i won’t be.

My FSIL done it at her wedding and it really didn’t work in my opinion. After the buffet everyone got up and swapped seats to sit with family and friends.

She also done the speeches before dinner and i think mixing the tables made the speeches “bum” slightly. (or maybe it may have just been the audience ha)

We went to a wedding last year where they mixed it up (4 of brides friend, 4 of grooms friends) and if I'm honest the whole day was awkward and we couldn't wait until the night do started and we could shuffle about and speak to the people we wanted to. Maybe we were just unfortunate but the whole afternoon was painful!

We are having 2 long tables and alternating between small groups (4-6 people) of my family, his family, my friends, his friends. So people will be sat in small groups of who they know but also next to people they don't as well.

No mixing here. I would hate it as a guest.I reckon most people would rather catch up with their own friends than mingle with strangers. Its a party, not a networking opportunity. ?

I plan on mixing people up, even though I generally hate it myself.

My family are very quiet and shy and not very eager to get out there and mix with people. At parties this usually means they all squeeze around one table generally being quite antisocial (all apart from my immediate family who can be found on the dance floor - we don't really fit in with them!)

I am hoping that by mixing them at least for the meal it might bring them out of their shell a little.

One thing I do hate is splitting people up around the table. I'm at least going to let them sit next to someone they know. (ach, hate this at works parties!)

I definitely see why people like to do it but for me I won't be. People can mingle later on if they want to - I'm personally not one for forcing them to, as they're unlikely to socialise at any other time anyway - but for the meal I would prefer to know that everyone is sat with people they already know.

We didn't really mix anyone up, I thought it was easier not to and I know as a guest I would enjoy it more being with people I know.

Aaaah I don't know! I went to a wedding a few weeks ago and I only knew a few people so I was glad to be sat with them, but I also got chatting to the ones I didn't know, but I'm fairly outgoing and will talk anyone's ear off.

My family are terrible and will make no effort to mingle, so that's why I want to split them up *evil laugh*.

I won't b mixing it up much a I don't like it when in separated from friends etc at weddings.

I'll be putting friends with friends but then when there are couples who don't really know other people I'll put them on tables with people I think they'll get on with.

I think I've been "mixed up" at nearly every wedding I've been to, and I don't really mind. I've always been with H at least, and usually a couple of other people I know. I quite like meeting a few new people and hearing their stories about the B&G, though I must admit often after the meal I will mostly hang out with people I already know. I don't think it's very friendly to have everyone completely segregated into their usual groups the whole way through.

We mixed people up along long tables, but made sure everyone had at least one other person they knew near them, and tried to match up people with similar interests.

Oh, it made me sad to see 'bonding' and 'networking' used in that way. We genuinely saw the day as bringing 2 families together, and most of our friends we consider as extended family as we only have 1 sibling each.

Our day was informal, we didn't split up any families or couples. The tables were small so the plan was actually a bit of a nightmare. The MAX to a table (and it was a squish) was 8, so we aimed for 6's and 7's. We had 10 tables, though we put 2 tables together for our families to be together. Partly so we didn't inflict them on anyone else but it was also cute to see our mums crying side by side during the speeches.

Us 3 and BM, wife and kids was top table. Family's tables 2 & 3. That left 7 tables to cover:

1 x family of 6

1 x family of 5

4 x family of 4

2 x family of 3

7 couples

3 single folk

It was impossible to try and put people with those they knew, so we went the other way and mixed it about. It was only an hour and three-quarters out of the whole day. With those groups listed and table size it usually meant 2 parties to a table and then we had a table with 2 couples and the 3 singles.

I'd never care about where I sat at a wedding. With my OH would be nice, yes, but I love meeting people from 'the other side' and seeing people who wouldn't usually have anything in common getting along nicely. With the amount of kids at ours most people already mingled at the bouncy castle or the photo frame anyway. Seemed like most of our guests had kids/were big kids/both!

totally agree.

I'm with Foo on this one. As a guest, I want to be able to relax, not have to worry about smalltalk / inadvertently offending someone!

We will have some (limited) mixing just simply because of numbers and the way the table plan has worked out- sadly it can't be avoided- but I've tried to keep family / friendship groups together and everyone will be on a table with at least 2-3 people they know.

I appreciate the concept behind mixing but (in my case) the chances are these people are very unlikely to meet again socially, so what's the point?

Damn, some good points for and against mixing ?

I might have to just let the OH decide this one for me!

I'm having the same problem, but I'd rather go for sitting the one who know each other together. They'll have better fun I guess

We involved people a lot in the day and it was nice to have people come up and say 'I've been chatting to so-and-so, and they're lovely!' Or 'such-and-such was telling us hilarious stories about your husband' etc. Made the day more personal and they felt they knew us a bit better as a result.

I'm just a massive gooey hippy who wants to spread the love! A few years back I'd have hated being stuck with 'strangers'!!!

Yeah I think it's nice to get everyone together and having a good time together (hopefully!), not separate groups of people who refuse to socialise!

I'd definitely sit people with others that they know, and definitely not split any couples up.

I just think it'd be nice to have some new people to chat to and get to know, as others have mentioned that after the dinner everyone tends to gravitate back to the people they know well anyway.

We won't be mixing it up at all... Not my thing and our families are very different! I want everyone to have a good time and in my opinion to best way to ensure this is to make sure everyone is comfortable and able to relax where they are seated! The only tables I'll probably mish and mash will be our friends! We share a lot of the same friendship groups anyway and would like to have the few friends from outside our general network be able to join in with that network!

We have mixed people together, our rule is that each person must know at least 2 other people on that table. That way they have the option of talking among themselves or joining in the group conversation. I wasnt going to mix it up but it will be nice for family members that have never met each other to meet and sit together.

We're having a really small wedding and U shaped table so slightly different, but we're sitting people next to ones they know unless it can't be helped but either way everyone will have someone they know next to them. It would be my worst nightmare sitting next to people I don't know at a wedding as i'm quite shy and especially when it comes to eating in front of people, so don't want my guests to feel as uncomfortable as I would lol. I'm aware not everyones as shy as me though and love to socialise and meet new people lol.

Speaking as someone who is quite shy, I dread being sat with people I don't know at a wedding. If you want to get people talking and enjoying themselves, just sit them with people they already know! The last couple of weddings I've been to we've always been put with other we knew and we laughed and chatted throughout. This wouldn't have happened had we been sat with people we didn't know and forced to make conversation whilst trying to eat. It's as cringing as a first date!

We're not really mixing it up at all. I hate being put with people I don't know, when friends or family who I get to spend precious time with anyway (I live 250 miles from where I grew up) are sat at another table. There's no way I'd stay sat with people I'd never met before once dinner was done.

We mixed it up ant it worked brilliantly :0)

We had no top table, either.

On our table were our 3 younger children, my sister, BIL and nephew and my SIL and her 2 boys.

We put all 6 parents, aunts, BILs grandma etc on the Old Timers table.

All the youths were on Guzzler, the child free couples and 30/40 somethings were on Old Legover and we had a couple of tables for couples with children.

Most people knew at least a couple of people on their table and as we had put similar age and situation folk together it worked out really relaxed and happy as we had planned.