Mother in law nightmare !!

Why does she need to know anything about the wedding at all? Don't discuss it with her - if she asks, just say "that's all under control" and move the conversation on. If she won't drop it, be more direct, "MIL, we don't want to discuss our wedding now." And if she still doesn't drop it, hang up or leave.

Make sure all your suppliers know that you are the only people they should discuss the wedding with (data protection regs should mean they don't discuss it with anyone else anyway, but I know some slip up on this). And worse case scenario, if you think her behaviour is going to ruin the day, then don't invite her.

Not sure of the exact situation, but try and limit your contact with her? Don't always answer the phone etc. Not sure how she'd react, but I find that best when people are generally getting annoying and most will take the hint that you need a break. Second what the person above said- you/your partner will know what she's like and so think of the best way to approach it- maybe be direct and say we're going to plan everything ourselves, it is our day after all and so won't discuss the details with you? Good luck.

View quoted message Thank you both! The issue is she doesn’t listen ! She likes to use other people’s events and situations to get herself attention as mean as that sounds ! We’re telling her nothing and not taking a penny off her that she’s offered us so she can’t use that as an excuse to interfere . When we got engaged she told everyone we wouldn’t be getting married for years because we can’t afford! We don’t want a top table as we don’t want her on it and she’d have w massive huff if she wasn’t sat on it and would play the victim and we don’t want her in main photos either , he just wants to invite her to avoid more drama and victim playing and it’s still his mum but I don’t want her making us or his dad feel uncomfortable! We’re also having to put in our invites over no social media or phones as she’ll have it straight on Facebook to hundreds of strangers we don’t know for attention!

View quoted message Hmm. Maybe don't invite her? If it's an option. Although I imagine your relationship going forward may be affected if she takes it to heart. It does sound like she might make your day quite stressful if she does attend, which is the last thing you want. The other option is to sit her as far as possible from you both, that way you can't even hear her huffing ?

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Alas this is echoing my experience with my future MIL. It's horrible. We've both been in floods of tears, and she's offered no apology (saying 'sorry' for some is apparently the hardest word!).
Today I said 'f*ck it', and paid the deposit for our wedding. This is our day, not hers. If she can't come to terms with your date, then she can either attend or she can decide not to come.

I've been told by married friends that MIL end up being lovely on the day. I bloody hope so as I really don't want my day ruined by a sulky person on our top table.

Thinking of you and remember, you're not alone!
What is it with MIL by the way? x

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It's a sad thing to say but you are not the only one my lovely. My MIL to be did her damndest to stop us when we were buying our first home and spread a lot of unpleasant stories about me to complete strangers (even in new zealand!) also told lies to my partner about things she claimed I'd said/not done.

I imagine your MIL is feeling very lonely and abandonned with everything that's been going on and the wedding in possibly a big catalyst for her as she has lost hubby and is losing her son. It doesn't excuse her behaviour in the slightest, and tbh I am worried of a hugely similar scenario at our own with my partners mother.

I would suggest- have a top table of JUST you and your husband, you will get little enough time together on the day as it is and this means she can't complain about being left out without looking churlish.

stick to your guns over social media- maybe have a 'phone jail' for guests? say you want everyone to focus on the day and you will make sure your photographer captures all of them and you'll upload copies for all online?

it is a last resort but your bridesmaid/groomsmens group and family is more than just for looking pretty and holding your dress/bouquet- they can act as crowd/people buffer/control if needed. My maids and close family are all aware of the stunts my MIL likes to pull (and then claim ignorance or victim) they are more than ready to enforce 'good behaviour'

I am also playing with table seating to put my MIL with people who won't tolerate that kind of behaviour at any length and may even help 'jolly' her up *shrug*

I wish you all the luck in the world lovely, while I think it would be difficult to not have her at the wedding, you are not powerless to reign in her excesses! stick to your guns and dont ice your wedding because of one person

I wouldn’t discuss the wedding at all with her! If she asks how planning is going just say it’s going fine, that’s all she needs to know! My MIL is going on and on about the guest list and how we should invite people neither of us have even met but my H2B has put her in her place and said it’s OUR day and we will do what WE want

Hi my mother in law to be is no longer with us wish she was would love to have her at my wedding as for my mother she sounds just like your mother in law to be good luck x