The background:
J and I first met in April 2004. My ex husband had walked out on me in the January and I’d pretty much shut myself away for the winter. With the advent of spring, I realised life couldn’t go on like that forever. I did 2 things – I signed up to a dating website and I also agreed to meet up with some people from a climbing/mountaineering internet forum that I’d joined. I soon met a great guy online, D, who lived 3hrs away but we met and had a lot in common. In April at the meet up in the Lake District, I met J. I have no idea what he first thought of me. I was very screwed up and couldn’t really cope with company, so got drunk all weekend. Of him, all I really remember was that he spent a day leading a small group of us on a scrambly walk, then managed to crack 2 ribs slipping on sheep poo in the campsite! We didn’t meet again for some time, during which D and I continued our relationship.
Autumn 2004 – I go on a couple more trips with the climbing group during which time I get to know J better. Find out J fancies me and I panic. Friend, OK, climbing partner, OK, but I don’t really see him in any other way.
Summer 2005 (I think) – D tells me he is going to get back with his ex. We still see each other occasionally until a couple of years later I find out his (no longer) ex is pregnant and they are getting married. J is still there as my climbing partner and friend, but by now I’ve had enough of men leaving me and I’m simply not prepared to commit to anyone. J and I have a bit of a “friends with benefits” relationship for a while and go on a few mountaineering trips together, but mentally I am still very distant. We do discuss buying a house together, but never really do anything about it. In these “in between” years I support J through a bad shoulder injury and operation, and he looks after me when I couldn’t walk after a back injury. Precursor to “in sickness and in health”?
April 2010 – my cousin’s wedding. I have a bit of a moment after various family members imply “you’ll be next then?”, and break down in tears realising that I’m being very unfair to J. I need to either make a proper go of it, or tell him and split up. After a few days of soul searching I decide to give it a proper go. And you know what? From that moment on everything gets much better.
January 2011 – J proposes on a mountain in Scotland. First of all, I say no, because I don’t want the hassle of a wedding again. Also he asked me in precisely the same way my ex husband did, and I was upset about that. A week later he asked again at St Dwynwen’s Cross on Anglesey (I’m half Welsh and St Dwynwen is the equivalent of St Valentine) and I said yes, on condition we elope!
June 2011 – after months of looking, we find our house in the country, and after lots of stress that we deal with together we moved in in October, precisely 2 weeks before work sent me back to uni for 8 months.
And so to conclude this part, we have known each other for 8yrs during which we have weathered illness, injury, poverty, debt and escaping it, a new career for me, 2 job changes for him, a house move, bereavement on his side, a uni course and exams, and of course, planning the amazing beach wedding!
