OMs - what are your wedding regrets?

I think the tables look gorgeous but also the more minimal makes it look even more beautiful. £30 for a centerpiece I should imagine would be stunning and I wouldn't detract from this to other bits on the tables. I think the pebbles is a great idea and personal, fairly cheap and not a major if left behind, I'm guessing you have a lot of guests if you have 22 tables (will that take some time to do). here's my table I had a centerpiece, some confetti and name places that doubled up with menus.

The bit i was trying to say was don't over do it, go OTT with bits and pieces, i was wondering on all sorts, sweets, seed paper, minature drinks but so much gets wasted.

Who was your Toastmaster Bonnie?

I don't think that's the problem at all Bill. Regardless of style it's a photographers job to find out what your client wants and to ensure you're able to meet their needs. If you're not able to offer them what they want it's your responsibility as the professional to let them know this before they place the booking.

If, having been given all available information (i.e a shot list) you mess up and leave them with missing photos without valid reason, you're incompetent- and that applies no matter which style you categorise yourself as. Some of the best group shots i've ever seen happen to have been shot by togs who consider their style to be reportage...but that's another matter.

Not an OM myself, but as others have said always give a shot list. That's doesn't just apply to what family/group shots you want, but also anything that's important to you in general. More often than not the things you list will be details your tog would have got anyway, but it's better to be safe than sorry.

Also, make time for a B&G session. The day will whizz by and you'll cherish the time alone together to chill and take everything in. Don't worry about being away from guests. No one will notice you're gone for 20 minutes and even if they do, the beautiful photos you have with your OH at the end of it all will be entirely worth it.

This is such a good thread I have already noted down loads of useful tips!!! Thank you ladies x

I wish I had told my hairdresser that the wedding was an hour earlier than it actually was. I told her we ALL needed to be ready for 1.30pm for a 2pm ceremony. She told me she would need to start at 9am and she turned up an hour late. She finished the last bridesmaid at 2.05pm. We then had a frantic 10 mnutes trying to get said bridesmaid into her corset back dress so we could get up the ailse before 2.15pm when the registrar would have left.

There are lots of things that really bother me about this. The main two are 1) I missed out on having 10-15 minutes alone with my Dad, and instead spent 10 franctic minutes pacing the floor swearing because i thought either the registrar was going to leave or I would have to go up the aisle without one of the girls, and 2) We were supposed to do the bride and bridesmaid photos before the ceremony and in all the excitment afterwards everyone forgot (me and photographer included). The only photo I have of me and my bridesmaids was taken on the dance floor at about 11pm rather worse for wear!

We had a stroke of luck in that the family friend who was going to take photos was ill, so we paid for a professional one (who was superb) - without offending anyone.

Best of all - we had a marryoke - would never have done this if the situation hadn't arisen (was going to be the replacement for the photographer and then we had both). George and Sara - Glee Marryoke, on youtube, if you want to have a look.

Don't bother with disposable cameras

Wish I had eaten something - I needed the energy.

Just relax and try to enjoy it. I had a few glassess of champagne, but a hot bath will help too.

Oooh a hot bath the morning of is a nice idea! I like this idea!

This is really useful thanks lots to think about. I'm umming and arring about flip flops and definitely going to do a pic list AMD not a clue where to start on decorating!

Little things I definitely didn't regret:

Taking a short brisk walk around the venue in the morning. It was really nice to have a few minutes in the sunshine, sea breeze in my hair thinking eeeeeeee it is my wedding day!

Taking a bubble bath before getting ready, nothing like feeling pampered.

Having chocolates in standby for a quick sugar rush if you don't feel like proper food.

I have to say my slipper basket went down a storm, I still wwear mine daily as do my Mum, MIL, nan and neighbours (the rest I don't have visual evidence if they still wear them!). Everyone appreciated them on the night as we had a ceilidh.

Things I might have changed:

Extra food for the small hours. Our party went on until it was light and we were starving. Although I appreciate most receptions finish around midnight so this wouldn't be an issue.

I wish my little sister's partner could have been there. Instead he had to police the security *** up at the Olympic park.

I wouldn't have worried about whether it was formal enough and been a little more headstrong in our decisions.

The only 2 things I can come up with as 'regrets' (and they aren't massive issues) is that I wish we had asked our venue to bag up the buffet food and cake as there was so much of it left but after 2 hours of it being out they took it away and we never saw it again.

The other thing would be that I wish I hadn't spent so much money on flowers. My bouquet cost £75 and I held it walking down the aisle and to pose for pictures but then after that it was sat on the top table for the rest of the day before throwing it to one of my single friends. A much simpler bouquet would have sufficed.

The things I don't regret are:

Videographer

Not spending a horrendous amount of photography

Photobooth (kept people busy the whole night)

Band (They made the evening)

Flat shoes for the evening!

Not stressing about the little things. I was so relaxed on the day that it made me enjoy it so much more, even when it rained and I knew we couldn't have the ceremony outside like we wanted you just have to get on with it.

Great idea for a post kharv ?

The one thats now niggling me having read through everyones posts is the TOG list.. We have a meeting with our TOG in the morning. We have not seen him or conversed much since Sept 2011. I was sure I was going to do a photo list.. but when we tried to do it earlier this week I got myself in a total tizzwazz. On the one hand, I do not want to patronise the TOG by listing out what seems to be the 'obvious' stuff. I will definatley give him a list of the less standard ones, like grandparents, and OH's specific group of friends. Going to gage things tomo in the meeting as to what's standard for him though.

It's one of my life philosophies to try not to regret anything I do - I might not do it the same again, but if something didn't go perfectly then I try to see it as a learning experience rather than wishing it hadn't happened/happened differently.

There are a couple of things I would have done differently if I had the time again, but I don't see them as regrets: -

- I would not be a cheapskate on cars and would book two cars to pick up me, my parents and BMs, rather than one car doing two trips. The car came so early for mum and the BMs that I wasn't even in my dress, and had to be laced up by my cousins who just happened to arrive at the right moment!

- I would book the car to pick us up later in the evening. It came at 10pm, because we thought we would be knackered and didn't want to drag the party out too late, but I was SO not ready to leave.

The other thing that isn't really a regret, or even a "could have done it differently" is that I do secretly just wonder, just a tiny bit, what it would have been like if we'd had a professional tog. My BiL's pics are excellent, he did a really good job, but I'm just curious to know if anything could have been done better.

I didn't have any flip-flop baskets or bathroom baskets but I'm not really fussed about that.

I'm a bride2be getting some ideas. Thanks

My own take on this is to (once checked about the family dynamic) is to include all of the bridal party/family variations which should include grandparents as standard. I do ask though for a list of specific friends and other family that the couple might want as shots. Each wedding is different.

The over riding issue though is time. Often couples dont realise the time it takes to organise lot of group shots. Guests get bored easily and an over long list can spoil the flow of the day.

That all said, one thing that comes up this forum regularly over the years is comments about the photographer not getting a desired shot.......so if a shot is important, make sure that the tog knows.

Peter

No real regrets... but...

I wish I had taken more time choosing my tog. The photos were ok but I have since realised that there are much better out there for the same price. Do your research.

I wish I had got a better DJ... ours was pants but cheap.

Don't underestimate how long things take to do if you are DIYing. Seriously.

enterflora I also wish I had more photographs of just me (big ego much?!). I don't think there is a single photo of just me in my finery, and I'll never get that back. I think every bride needs at least one "don't I look amazing" photo.

The bridal portrait for me are one of my favorite shots to do. im surprised it got missed

I wish we had a vog. The photos are amazing but I think the extra expense for a big would have been worth it.

i wish I had rembrted that kids feet grow! Sd's feet outgrew her bridesmaid shoes and I diddnt get her to try them in the week before it anything so on the day she had to wear a scruffy old pair of flip flops which is annoying.

I wish I had a better picture of mrmini and I and his children. The one we have we are doing a wired thing with our arms and I don't like it.

One thing I worried about beforehand was having a 12.30 ceremony. Loads of people commented that it was really early and I was worried that people would get bored in between ceremony and the meal but actually we still hardly had time for everything. We had 120 day guests and 50 more in the evening and I barely got to speak to everyone. I would always recommend having ceremony as early as possible so you can really make the most of the day.

My only regret is not checking in with our VOG the week before. He was a friend of H (who was invited to the wedding anyway) so I assumed they had sorted everything between them but on the morning of the wedding H got a facebook message telling him he wasn't coming. I didn't get upset on the day but looking back I was furious. If he had given us a few days notice we could have easily sorted something else. My uncle filmed in with his camcorder so we do have some stuff but the quality is pretty duff.

Definitely considering flip flop basket now, will have to brave primani later in the year and stock up!

Hi All

One of my regrets is food related !!! Due to being too full from the wedding meal i did not have anything from the buffet , it looked rather lovely (and tasted great according to everyone who did have some food ) plus i had a chocolate fountain as a surprise for my husband who celebrated his birthday on our wedding day and yes i only had a few items from this.As you can guess i rather like food alot ?

The other regret was that husband's family had ordered their minibus home for around 10.30pm i wish they could of stayed alittle later as the younger members were coming up to my oh and asking him to persuade them to re-arrange the time ?

I do wish i had had a videographer , got a few things captured on our camcorder though which i will treasure forever

Sounds interesting - is it you just get guests to put thumb print leaves on a tree?

My biggest regret? I did everything on the cheap first time. I didn't choose wisely where and how to cut the costs, just went with whatever was the lowest. I still had a lovely day, and don't even regret everything that led to me divorcing him 12 years later, as I wouldn't be where I am now if I hadn't gone through it. But I do feel I missed out on dress shopping (made them all), food tasting (meal was down the pub and didn't occur to me I might want to try the choices we were offered) and doing wedding stuff with my mum and sisters. Got married in my first year at uni and rushed into it (7mths after meeting) as it seemed like a good idea and I wanted to do something 'big' in my life lol. My hen night was a bit of a mess too, with 2 sets of friends trying to do different things (uni friends wanted me to dress up as a traffic cone (?!) and home town friends wanted a qiuet night in the pub.

Still doing it as cheaply as possible this time, but now wiser about what's important and what really matters, and feel in a better position with the new OH to be able to make those things clear, and I won't be scrimping on them. Also glad that while I want to marry him asap (been together almost 3 years and feels far too long lol), having the venue booked up until 2016 means I can savour the planning

Me too Flora, I didn't get one. My friend got one of me sat down but thats just of my face. The tog didn't take one full length picture of just me in my dress either. Sad isn't it?

Well I saw my TOG this morning, and turns out despite being a reportage TOG he does want me to do a list of any specific photos even if it's as basic as parents.

*goes off to start making the list*

Great thread, Kharv - thank you ?

I've just read all of the thread and have savoured the wise words, very insightful. Thank you Kharv, may there be no regrets......

Well, without sounding smug, my motto for our wedding was "no regrets", so tbh I don't have any! I have had a practice run before that I learnt from ?

There were things that went wrong, but tbh I don't really care about them.

I was a total control freak and was worrying over every detail, so it mostly worked out ok.

The three things I'm glad I did are: The photo list and VOG - My Uncle has subsequently died so I will always treasure those. One of the requested photos was Grandma with all her children, and my Mum treasures that one the most. I also am so glad I did fuss over all the details and was organised, people did notice them and loads have sais it was one of the best weddings they've been to

I'm hoping my control freakness will pay off too!

Loving this thread! This has inspired me to do a flip flop basket, the woman in primark probably thought I was mad buying 10 pairs of flip flops in varying sizes...need more but didn't want to look too crazy!!

Gosh where do I start lol.

Firstly I would never have bought my dress from Berkgate. We would have run away with the kids to get wed, avoiding our day being down trodden by certain family members. I would have made a list of what photos we wanted as there are so many missed ones. I would have got into my dress sooner as was mad dash at the end. I would have had our party back home elsewhere. I would have ensured family sat on the right side as hubbys family were where mine should have been. I

Photographers - an awful lot of comments on here have centred around photographers and not getting the right shots etc. I am an Event Manager by trade so here is my advice from my experience:

Make a list of EVERY single shot you want and hand it to the photographer, no matter how obvious or uneccesary you think it is - do not worry about 'patronising' the photographer, you won't. Also give a copy to the best man or the chief bridesmaid and make them cross each shot off the list as the TOG does them to make sure he has covered all of them.

The most commonly missed shots are of:

- The groom on his own

- The bride on her own

- The bride and groom on their own

A friend of mine got married last year and she put together a list of family shots etc but despite being warned, didn't specify shots like the ones above because "the photographer would know". The photographer followed her list to the letter and took all of the shots she specified. She didn't notice that he didn't do what she deemed as the 'obvious' shots until she saw the disc. She went absolutely mad at him over the phone because he hadn't taken this, that, and the other shot. His response was that he followed the list she gave him and I have to agree that it is, mostly, her own fault.

Yes, a good TOG will spot the obvious missing shots off a list and will suggest adding them in, but you cannot rely on this. Spell out exactly what pictures you want and you will get what you paid for.

Kharv - good thread!

If you're anything like me, it will! ? I didn't do much on the day though, just handed the reins over to the hotel staff, but I'd done so many lists they had no choice but to get it right!