OMs - what are your wedding regrets?

Love this thread. I'm taking notes! ?

This is a very useful thread, thanks kharv! There have been a few things mentioned here that I don't know I would have thought of - particularly allocating jobs and being really specific with photo requirements. I plan to come back in the run up to my wedding and make sure I've ticked all my important boxes!!

Brilliant thread, is really making me think we'll have to make room in our budget for a VOG

I don't think I have any big regrets but small ones include:

Wishing I hadn't worried so much about my dress. It was my only major stress really. I don't know why but I didn't fall in love with it until a week before the wedding. On the day I felt amazing & since seeing the pics, I feel even more love for it. It's currently hanging in my spare room just so I can gaze upon it lol!

Not calling the registrar sooner. I rang 18 months in advance & they only had 2 times left which were 12pm & 4.30pm. I went for 12pm & was then told I had to get married at 11.30am because I was so far away from the next venue! I wasn't best pleased & we compromised & agreed on 11.45am. Whilst it meant the day itself wasn't rushed, getting ready for 11.30am was! I could have done with an extra half hour at least. I forgot to put my garter on. I didn't realise that my Daughter's flowers weren't in her hair nor did I notice that the gifts hadn't been taken out of my room (that was a bit embarrassing when the OH went to give them out!). It also meant there wasn't much time for all the photos I wanted taking beforehand. The plus side was that I didn't have time for last minute nerves!

Not trusting my suppliers/service providers more. The control freak & pessimist in me made me worry about their abilities & I even convinced myself that a couple of them wouldn't turn up! The two I thought would let me down actually did me proud beyond belief!

Being so giddy that I didn't have some of the posed photos I wanted to like just me & my Mum, me & my Step Dad, me & different groups of friends. I had given the TOG a list but it was strangely vague for me! He had the list on him & I think he covered everything I asked for so it's my own fault for not being more thorough! I think he took a lot of candid shots though. I'll know what's missing when I get them!

I think that's it! As I said, nothing major, just things I wish I'd done differently.

Now to tell you the things I'm very glad I did

I'm glad I:

Had a VOG. It was a bit last minute because we couldn't afford it originally. Then I saw a deal on Groupon that was too good to pass up! The guys on the day were so discreet & I literally can't wait to get the DVD & see all the things I would have otherwise missed!

Spent so much time choosing & perfecting my theme. I know it's not everyone's cup of tea to have a theme & matchy matchy stuff but I'm very happy with what I chose & how it turned out. All the little details made all the difference too. So many people commented on what we had.

Had a lot of bridesmaids. Another thing that doesn't seem popular on here but it was wonderful to have all my closest friends involved. They each brought different things to the wedding & the pics I've seen with us all on look fab! I also know that I'll now never have the regret of not including someone.

Had my make up done professionally. It's so much better than anything you could do yourself. Well I speak for my own skills obviously!

Chose shoes that were comfortable! I spent hours looking for the perfect shoe & the only place I could find them was China. When they came they were stunning but too small! It would have cost almost the same again to send them back & get the next size up & there was obviously the risk of them still not fitting well. I cut my losses & sold them on ebay & bought some kitten heel, wide fit gold sandals with the proceeds! My feet were cool & thanks to the kitten heel, I wore them for 13 hours without pain. Only 1 person asked to see my shoes so I think opting for comfort over style was a good decision :o)

Took other OM's advice about taking it all in. I tried my very best to do just that. I also took the advice about doing what I wanted rather than what I thought would please others. For example, at the evening do when I started feeling like I should talk even more, I did what I really wanted to instead which was dance! The evening do is a hard one because you are pulled in all directions but doing what I wanted most of the time meant I still enjoyed it. People come to you to chat as well.

I think I've gone on for long enough so will end by saying, don't stress too much about anything as it's a waste of time & energy, take it all in & enjoy yourself :o)

Can now contribute to this!

My things that I would have done differently are little in the grand scheme of things but they might help

1. I regret asking my step MIL to do our flowers. I knew she didn't really understand our style and I think it showed.

2. I loved our village hall but wish we could have had somewhere that was a) open later and b) had accommodation closer by. Unfortunately it didn't exist but it's still a shame.

3. Not getting 1 normal picture with my nan. I was worried about formal photos taking too long that I cut the list down a bit too much.

4. Not having better instructions/lay out for the guest book and shirt signing but I ran out of time

5. Not getting a takeaway box with a slice of every bit of cake! I think I had one cupcake and that was it!

Can now contribute to this!

My things that I would have done differently are little in the grand scheme of things but they might help

1. I regret asking my step MIL to do our flowers. I knew she didn't really understand our style and I think it showed.

2. I loved our village hall but wish we could have had somewhere that was a) open later and b) had accommodation closer by. Unfortunately it didn't exist but it's still a shame.

3. Not getting 1 normal picture with my nan. I was worried about formal photos taking too long that I cut the list down a bit too much.

4. Not having better instructions/lay out for the guest book and shirt signing but I ran out of time

5. Not getting a takeaway box with a slice of every bit of cake! I think I had one cupcake and that was it!

Yay I can now add to this.

I regret

1) employing our florists she was sh!t!!! And not getting on the phone to her and telling her so on the day.

2) Not staying at our venue the night before the wedding, I wanted to but the hotel we stayed in was £250 less per night so OH talked me out of it. Staying at our venue would have made the morning of the wedding slightly less stressful.

3) Drunkenly packing up cake for everyone to take home and forgetting to save some for us.

4) We brought Macaroons for the evening reception but drunkenly forgot about them and and left them in our suite (plus side we had 60 odd macaroons to eat before going on honeymoon which made up for the lack of cake)

Hey girls! fab posts - any more for recently OMS? xx

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-i would have rather that I paid for my Bridesmaids hair to be done - in the grand scheme of things what was another 45 quid each?!

- that my husband stuck about inside more for the band. He regrets not having a dance with me first even tho we had decided not to officially have a first dance . Although we all had a good shin dig.

-I left too much buffer time and the reception was not 100% ready when we got there. It was okay as the bar was ready just not the welcome drinks and canapés.

Can't really think of anything else. Nearly 2 months on now and I would do it all again. It was ace.

As some others have said, I try not to have regrets and so a few things I'm so glad I had are:

- videographer (worth every penny, my Grandma in particular who gets very confused sat with a massive smile on her face when she watched it!

- a very generous candy buffet that we put out during photos so by the evening it had more or less been used up and lots of our friends used the sugar high to get them through the day

- having a rough plan of the night before and the morning after - a meal with both families and then breakfast with our families - it just made it even more special

Bump

1. Not putting somebody in charge of taking photos of the little things like flowers and table plan, didnt occur to me at the time but for future brides I would suggest getting them

2. Not preserving a petal from my bouquet

3. Not being pushier with the venue about having wine on the tables, I paid for a lot, barely any got drank as they didnt go around often enough filling glasses

4. Having a guest book instead of a frame, it barely got signed plus I cant put it on the wall like I could with a frame

5. Not making sure the venue were clear on the sauce on the side for the meal as it made us all look a bit incompetent when the guests who had requested no sauce had to send theirs back

However, none of the above ruined my day and I hope the lack of wine went unnoticed by some guests..

I think I would have always done things a bit differently no matter what I did as there is always something you remember or think of after the event occurred. I didnt have any time to think during the day so short of some kind of hurricane or someone telling me I looked hideous I dont think anything could have ruined it.

This is so sad, we see this all the time and couples just don't realise how important it is to get the right professional photographer but they seem to be going on price which should really be a warning, sorry to hear of this .

This thread helped me before my wedding so, I thought I would let you know what I was glad that I done because I cannot think at this time what I could change, it maybe cause it was only 2 weeks ago but everything that happened on the day was a part of it:

Sax Player- He was amazing, all the guests commented on him to say how amazing he is and how they would like to book him. He now has 3 people from my wedding booking him for theirs. He played outside whilst everyone was arriving and then played into the wedding breakfast area for an hour. I cannot express in words how good he was!!

Canapés and Procecco on arrival for all guests- this was a lovely treat for them after being at the church for the service and photos. The canapés were fabulous and everyone is still taking about them now.

Personalised Wedding Cake- My husband is a Tennis Coach and I wanted the cake personalised to him. So my cake lady added Ivory Tennis Rackets, Small Green Tennis Balls and a Wimbledon sign stating our wedding date. We also had little tennis balls favours and a poem to let them know that a candy bar will arrive at 7pm.

A day Itinerary- before the wedding I completed an itinerary of everything and guess what?? all was perfect, exact timings, no lateness. I couldn't believe it! I would suggest to all you lovely brides to put something together timings etc for the day honestly it will help you in the long run, I wasn't bothered by the time on the day as it goes too quick but I was so glad when I knew everything was on time.

Guest list for the day- I am so glad I had chosen the closest and most dearest people in our lives, I had none of my uncles and aunties to the wedding because I never speak to them, I have nothing in common with them and TBH they would most probably cause trouble. This was an easy decision to make and no matter what feedback I stuck to my guns. All my 70 daytime guests turned up and I was thrilled to have the most special people there.

Candy cart- I am so glad I hired this in for £125.00 instead of buying the sweets and setting up. The cart was fantastic.

There are lots of other stuff LED lighting, constant contact with suppliers, applying for my passport before the wedding and having it here within 3 days (easy process) I could go on.

So the jist of it, is that my wedding really was the best most organised day of my life haha

Good luck to all future brides, although I may be very jealous you having this all coming up but I hope you can find things easier with the great comments/advice from this thread.

Great post, will keep checking back, but the main points im picking up on are:

Making sure you get a good photographer/videographer and make sure you talk to them about what you both want from the day

If you have the option, get married earlier, like 12:00 instead of 16:00

Listen to your gut instincts

Dont stress over the small stuff

I've still got loads of time until mine, but you have all given me some food for thought, thanks (",)

I thought i'd resurrect this post as i've learnt a lot from it! so who's up next? xxx

Ah, then M&M, allow me! These are things I slightly regret that I could have had control of, not regrets related to a bigger budget / different type of wedding etc

1. I wish I'd altered my dress.... I had my dress made by a local dressmaker and while she did an awesome job for my budget, it was a little loose around the *ahem* norks, which meant every guest got a lovely view of the Ruby Valleys on the day. I love a bit of cleavage as much as the next man, but I think it was a bit much - I also wore a cinch belt which accentuated my boobs even more and made them look too big. I only got my dress a week before the wedding, so I think I was so relieved, I didn't think to alter it. I've worn it out since, and have altered it round the norkage area, and it's much better. Unfortunately, I cringe at lots of the pictures since I'm properly flashing all and sundry! I just try to hold on to the fact that people said I was beautiful on the day, so I must have been, at least at the time!

2. I wish we'd cut the cake properly.... We squeezed sooo much into our day, that we were supposed to cut the cake 30 minutes before we went on stage to perform our song (instead of a first dance) - as it happened we hurriedly cut it 5 mins before going on, the tog missed it so we only have a few guest shots, and only a handful of guests had any (it was part of our cake buffet but I think people were too shy to dig into it!) Maybe we should have made a *dig in* sign or something - we wanted people to help themselves - it was delish so a shame loads of people didn't get some! We ended up giving the bottom tier to the kids next door to us, so they were happy!

3. I wish I'd packed some spare tights... I was wearing white fishnets. We had some piccies taken just us, the rain came down and we started running towards the reception - me squealing like a loon with H and two togs chasing us - and I ran across a massive field, right through a huge muddy puddle. So my fishnets were muddy for the rest of the evening. It was funny at the time, but I'd have liked to look a bit classier on my big day!

4. I'd have got some pictures of me on my own... two of our good friends did the photos, but since they were friends were probably a little nervous (as was I on the day)... so there's no pictures of just me in my dress with my bouquet. Can live with it though

I think thats about it. We had an absolutely FANTASTIC day but if there were things I'd do differently, this would be it. Overall, we both were happy, more than happy. Even with the slight regrets, it was very *us*

I wish I'd relaxed and enjoyed it more instead of worrying all was going ok!

Do enjoy your alone time with the photographers and if not going off on honeymoon straight away as we weren't i'd def recommend spending a special day or two together after the wedding. We stayed on at the hotel for another night which was lovely. On the hour or so drive home the next day we stopped at a lovely village country pub for a cosy lunch. Was so nice to chill together after all the busy build up and excitement.

Just relax and enjoy it and don't let anyone upset you! A distant relative passed a comment to me the night before the wedding which upset me and stuck with me on the day :-(

it's true it really flies by!

A tip re shoes, have a comfier pair for evening! I just had a lower pair from next which could be worn again after wedding! They were such a relief!

Have fun! Xx

What are my wedding regrets? The groom.

Onwards and upwards, Pomps. He never deserved you x

? Thanks Kharv. The wedding was epic though ?

Kharv, your dress is absolutely stunning! I'm struggling to find one I like but yours is just wow!

Ahhh thanks Annie! It's Justin Alexander 8465 and they still make it as far as I'm aware!

I do not have my wedding regrets~~~~~~~

Not to sound awkward but I don't let myself have regrets about our day as I'm normally such a worrier that I promised myself I wouldn't!

Things I'm glad we did:

- had a videographer - I know some people have said they're glad they didn't but I love watching it back (I'm such a sad geek!) and my Grandma who is 94 likes watching it again and again.

- do something the night before the wedding. As our wedding wasn't where we lives both families had travelled the afternoon before. I really wanted to organise a meal but didn't want to be bossy but in the end my sister in law suggested it and we had a lovely meal together.

- had what we wanted to eat. Some of the older people were put off when we said we were having afternoon tea then a BBQ at night but it was great and so glad we did it.

- my Dad insited on greeting all of the evening guests who arrived (about an extra 25/30), had a chat with them and bought them a drink. In the planning I kept saying he didn't need to do that but on the night lots of the evening guests commented on how welcome they were made to feel.

Im not an OM but this makes me happy about most my choices:

for me videographer is more important that photographer - all our family are togs and I was a model (when young lol) and OH is a musician so photos are pretty standard and common (been there, done that) would love an amazing video though (music vid style to fit with our theme)

photos - reportage definitely, I HATE posed photos with a passion lol, I was a wedding tog for 2 years and dreaded the posed family photos they just look terrible in my opinion much rather have full reportage with just a few softly posed images of just me and OH thrown in

time - im going for early as possible, of course time flies your having fun

flip flops - definitely not... Satan shoes designed to make you break your neck (not to mention a massive waste of money) I quite like the hippy feel of girls dancing bare foot

you have reminded me though that I need to appoint someone to make up duty, I tend to melt terribly during busy days and forget to look in mirrors so someone needs to chase me round with a comb and make up for when I start to look like a troll lol

My biggest regret for my first wedding was that I married a complete (insert word of choice)!

Otherwise, I regret that we went for an all inclusive package which didn't reflect 'us', and didn't put effort into anything personal, but this was probably because I knew deep down it wasn't right and stuck my head in the sand.

This time, I am definitely marrying the right man, and we are going to make every last detail personal to us!

Oops! I replied to this last week and just have again! I can't believe I forgot I'd already replied - sorry!

This is an old post but some brilliany advice on here xxx

Different DJ.

paid for a practice hair session and spoken up when hair was being done that it was too tight (i wanted a more relaxed look)

telling the seamstress I didn't want my shoes showing - she convinced me this was normal.

not dancing with my husband enough

avoiding my mum a little and getting a bit annoyed at her when she took her shoes off during the photos. Note - she had terminal brain cancer (died 2.5 months after wedding) and wasn't herself and although we did the wedding in a rush so she could be there (and I don't regret that one tiny bit - I'm so so glad she was there) I didn't want to see her being so Ill and odd and I feel incredibly guilty about feeling/doing that. Oh also regret not doing her makeup in the morning (my sister was meant to) and I had practiced on her and she looked 'normal' then but she looks so ill in the photos and she wouldn't have done if if done her make-up. I even photoshopped one close up photo of her when I put it in an album.

Getting ushers to be in charge of the photo list. They were useless at finding people and making me stay in the right place - I got stressed (overly) but was rescued by a bossy bridesmaid who sorted everyone out.

That I didn't lose more weight (although deep down I know I had too much family stress and I'm a comfort eater, so in the grand scheme doesn't matter)

i really really really wanted to make my own blue velvet wedding cake (and spent many many hours practicing) but people did put their foot down and say it was too much for me to do. I think that was actually the relight decision but I really wanted to make my own blue velvet wedding cake!

Although I have these little regrets I/we/everyone had the best day and most importantly I have a husband! Words cannot describe how grateful I am that my mum got to see me get married. It meant forcing/convincing my reluctant boyfriend (of nearly 7 years at that point) to marry me and that we'd have to plan it for 4.5 months later but totally worth all the hard work and stress, especially as my mum kept talking about it after

I don't regret not getting the following - chair covers, fresh flowers, fancy favours, matching groomsmen suits, having a proper colour scheme, flip flop basket. I did consider all of those things but they really weren't 'me' or matter to my husband at all. I found that some things were very important to me - mainly venue, dress and invites - I used to be a graphic designer and now a DT teacher so I designed and laser cut my invites!

sorry I've rabbited on a bit there!!

Oh, it makes me so sad that anyone would regret that. Not having a go at you at all, I just hate to think of anyone looking at their pics and thinking "I wish I'd been slimmer".