Open Bar, Cash Bar, or Mixed?

It varies to be honest, if we could afford an open bar then we would have one but we can't. Some people think it's important to have an open bar but I think most people don't expect one. I have never been to a wedding where I didn't have to pay for my own drinks.

You can have whatever you like!

Personally, I would expect to have to buy my own drinks. An open bar/limited bar would be a bonus.

I think the "norm" over here would be a cash bar. If you can afford an open bar, that's great for your guests, but I would certainly not go to a wedding expecting free drinks and would always take cash with me. From what I've seen on Four Weddings US, people seem to turn their nose up at a cash bar in the US, but that's not the case here.

I always would expect to be paying for my own drinks xx

Cash bar is very normal here and the vast majority of people would expect it/wouldn't turn their noses up at it.

One word of warning though - check if your venue's bar will accept cards. If not, check if there is a cashpoint nearby; if you are out in the middle of nowhere then it might be kind to let your guests know this in advance.

Normal to have a cash bar over here unless you are mega rich and can afford an open bar. Especially if you are already providing reception/welcome drinks then anything after that to be cash is more than fine. We have 2/3 reception drinks per person, then during the meal ½ bottle of wine each and then the cash bar opens. We plan for OH to have a bit of cash on him to be able to buy people drinks as a means of thanks if they’ve helped us or ushers/readers etc but not open for everyone to abuse. Have added a note to our website about there being no cashpoint at the venue.

I would normally expect a cash bar at a wedding, and anything more is a bonus.

Are your guests mainly coming from the States? I ask only because it seems to be people's attitudes towards this that differs, not just the norm of the country where you have the wedding. I would never expect to have all my drinks paid for at someone's wedding, but if that's what all of your guests are used to, then it would be a good idea to give them a head's up if you are having a cash bar. Also from Four Weddings US, I've seen a few people on there say it's "rude" to have your guests paying for their own drinks, my personal opinion is the complete opposite, that it would be rude to expect the bride and groom to pay for all of your drinks! It all depends on your budget of course, but there is nothing at all wrong with providing a few drinks for the toasts and during the meal and then people buying their own after that. Anything over and above that is a bonus.

I would always expect to pay for drinks during the evening but having a free bar is a lovely treat. I've been to a couple like that and it's what we did for ours (it was the second thing we agreed on after choosing our church!).

We will have about 120 guests total, and about 20 of those will be from the States, maybe 30 tops. What you heard on Four Weddings US (never seen this show but must watch it!), is somewhat true -- there is a general sentiment that it's "rude" to have a cash bar. That being said, while I've never been to a wedding with a cash bar, I have been to those that offer only beer and wine, and it was fine. In addition, I think having an open bar is much more "affordable" in the States where many venues will allow you to pay per person. For example, at 5 start hotel I was looking at, an open bar was offered at $35/per person (£22/per person) for name brand spirits/wine/beer/soda for FOUR HOURS! The price difference almost makes me want to cry!

Wowzers! Over here it would be about 10 times that!

WSS! I'd definitely offer an open bar if this was the price! In my venue that's what you'd pay for about 3 drinks, ouch.

I think even in Europe the "norm" is an open bar, I have been to a wedding in France and in Italy and we didnt pay for a single drink.

Over here I would say it is the norm to have to pay for your drinks. As CB said, it is always a lovely gesture when you go to a wedding that has an open bar, but it is certainly not expected. I think so long as you provide your guests with a few complimentry drinks this is adequate enough.

How awful!

No one jumped on you!

As a guest I would expect (now, I know that sounds rude, but I mean from habit not as a demand) a welcome drink, and a drink for the toasts. Anything else is a bonus. At my first wedding I offered welcome champers, 3 bottles of wine and one jug of orange juice per table of 8 for dinner, and a glass of champers for the toast. My cousin (same family hence relevant) did similar but had waiters serve the wine. Not sure how much she allowed per person, but definitely if anyone wanted beer or other things, it was cash bar. Interestingly her sister who married about 15yrs ago now offered no drinks at all, just a cup of tea at the reception (which was in a stately home type place, not a village hall!). Last wedding I went to was that of H2b's friend, and they had pretty much an open bar as long as it was certain drinks. Apparently there was a set amount behind the bar, but by midnight when we left, drinks were still free. I found it all a bit odd - very nice, but we were expecting to pay for ourselves, and couldn't help thinking the B&G had made an unneccesary expense.

We are providing all the drinks for our guests, but our situation is a bit different in that we're hiring a village hall without a bar - so with no corkage fees/inflated venue prices to pay, we can afford to buy all the alcohol etc ourselves and treat everybody to free drinks. We will be limiting our selection somewhat though and sticking to wine/beer/cider and the odd spirit, plus soft drinks.

Also to add, I must've been to about 15-20 weddings over the last ten years and out of those I can only recall one that had some money behind the bar and none that provided free drinks. So as a guest I would be perfectly happy with, and even expect to pay for my own drinks.

I don't think anyone jumped on you at all. I think most people would think it was a bit rude to 'raise eyebrows' if there isn't a free bar though.

We are providing reception drinks, champagne for the toasts and half a bottle of wine per person.

I'd like to provide a free bar but I just can't afford it and I know not one of my guests will expect it, or think less of me for not having one.

Like most of the others we are providing welcome and table drinks but after that its a cash bar, i haven't ever been to one where all the drinks were paid for and would be happy to buy my own anything extra is a bonus and tbh i'm such a light weight i'm usually pretty merry on the table wine alone. if i couldn't afford to do the outfit, gift, drinks etc i would probably rsvp saying i couldn't attend and send a little gift in any case, as the bride if someone does rsvp a no i wouldnt expect an explenation so no-one would know any different, i would also be suprised if anyone of my friends thought bad of me for not providing a free bar x

I would say half the weddings I´ve been to in the UK have had cash bars and half open. But all the weddings I´ve been to on the continent have generously provided free drinks all night. That may well be a reflection of the fact that Europeans (from which I´m excluding the Brits ?) don´t drink as much as we do, so you´re less likely to end up with an eye-watering bill.

I think a good compromise is to offer certain (cheaper) drinks for free at the bar (maybe soft drinks, wine and beer) but then leave people to pay for everything else.

As with most people, we provided the following drinks:

- Welcome prosecco (or orange juice)

- Free-flowing wine during the meal, both red & white

- Champagne for the toasts

The evening was a cash bar and no one expected otherwise to be honest. We felt this was more than enough alcohol to keep most people happy. I don't think most people expect a free bar at weddings these days purely because of the cost involved.

If you want to go partway towards a free bar, giving guests drinks tokens could be one way of doing it - as at least that way everyone gets a free drink rather than putting X amount behind the bar which might get used up by some before others get to it!

We're hoping to have welcome drink after the ceremony, half a bottle of wine per guest during the meal and a glass of sparkling wine to toast. We may have to cut the welcome drink but can decide this the day before as we have arranged to have a "voucher" type system where everyone gets one free drink of their choice (beer, wine, soft drinks) and we pay the bill the next day. We originally planned to have Bucks Fizz or Pimms but this was nearly 6 pound a drink! So it is actually going to save us about 80 pounds by doing it this way.

We're not putting any money behind the bar as we feel we've paid for 4-5 drinks per person, aswell as a lovely meal! Personally, I think that's pretty generous! Plus I know my guests wouldn't expect a free bar. If we offered a free bar, knowing mine and OHs friends and family, we'd be bankrupt!!!

All these responses have been so helpful! We would love to provide an open bar, but I think it will be beyond our budget to do so given alcohol prices here. We would, however, like to do something *extra* for our American guests given that they're traveling from so far away to attend and incurring extra expenses to do so (r/t tickets right now are hovering around £750!).

Do you think it would be offensive to our British guests if we invited our American guests to the rehearsal dinner the night before? We were going to limit the rehearsal dinner to just immediate family, the wedding party and their partners, but I feel 1) it would be nice to treat those that traveled such a long way to an *extra* and 2) given that we rarely get to see our American friends that it would give us some extra time to spend with them.

(To put this into context, we will have about 20-30 American guests out of 120 total guests, and out of those 20-30 guests, about 10 would be in the wedding party anyways.)

I don't think your British guests would be offended at all. We wouldn't normally even do a rehearsal dinner over here, so they'd never expect one and they'll surely appreciate the extra effort that the American guests are putting in.

So, in America typically after you rehearse the wedding (which I never understood why you needed to do, and we probably actually won't do the actual wedding rehearsal), you have a dinner for your wedding party. It's typically hosted by the groom's parents, and it's a time to thank your attendants. For instance, this is often the time where you toast each of your attendants and present him/her with a gift. However, rehearsal dinners have more frequently turned into these elaborate affairs becoming essentially pre-receptions -- a more casual dinner for any guest that's in town a day early.

I went to my friends wedding in London and being from the Midlands I was expecting to spend a small fortune. It was a lovely surprise that it was an open bar. Beer, wines, champagne cocktails and soft drinks were free and shorts etc were cash.

I would never expect a free bar and can't afford to offer one. I would love to have free wine but it's just a dream.......one that I am working on!!!

Just make sure that your guests know if cards are accepted or not and if it is a particular expensive venue for drinks just give them heads up.

x

I would never expect an open bar at a wedding but it is a very nice gesture if there is. Probably most weddings we've been to have had a cash bar.

We had an open bar and cut back on other things (like we didn't have favours and cut back on things we weren't bothered about) and I thought it was a lovely thank you to those people who had travelled a long way and I know it was appreciated (esp. because people don't expect it).

I can't remember ever going to a wedding with an open bar. Most of my and OH's groups of friends would drink it dry if it were free ? I've been to a couple with a certain amout behind the bar but it might be a bit unfair on those who drink slowly as those who guzzle it down will get more than their fair share.

I think the rehearsal dinner for your American guests is a nice touch and will make them feel welcomed. I'm sure they will understand that the costs of drinks packages here makes an open bar prohibitively expensive for most of us.

^^^ That being said as OH and I are getting married abroad we are having a small reception in the villa we'll be hiring and we'll provide all booze all night as it will be pretty cheap, we hope! We are also looking for a dry hire place for the party back home so we can provide drinks, still looking for a nice venue in Merseyside though, it's proving tricky.

Where are you hiring, Liverbird?