Overeating

Since starting on Herbalife my appetite has been much more normal.

Have you tried counselling, Jo? I can identify with hiding what you're eating although with me it's only sweet stuff. If you're constantly overeating it might be psychological?

Why do you eat? My thing was boredom eating. Or just because I enjoy it. The only times I have successfully lost weight and changed eating habits was to not have anything in the house I could gorge on. And when I wanted to eat I'd go and clean or go for a walk with H.

I also only made realistic changes. I know bread is my weakness so allowed myself to still have it, but changed to lower calorie bread. I know I wot stick to a gym membership, but will walk the dog every day. I love dessert, so researched low calorie ones. (Meringue nests with strawberries and low fat whipped cream- barely a calorie there!)

Ahh JJ - sounds cheesy but I thnik the first step is knowing when you have a problem with it.

I binge eat occassionally, but it shocks me and I sort of then stop and compensate over the next few days. For me, it is suddenly like an itchy boredom (best way I can describe it) and I suddenly have to eat something, even if I am already doing something, eg on the phone, watching tv, reading, etc. I almost do it without thinking, and then suddenly I have eaten a digsusting amount of cheese/chocolate/etc

Are you still doing your lovely lists about you as a person?

I know it's only addressing the symptons, but could you just not have "bingey" type food in the house? What is the food you overeat? I also stick a photo of somebody with a nice body on my fridge - but somebody realistic for me, which is likely to be Beyonce, Kim K, Jennifer Lopez, rather than say, Anne Hathaway in Les Mis ;o)

Jo, it worries me to hear you talk about yourself as being "disgusting." It sounds like *amateur psychology alert* your self-esteem has really taken a bashing. I worry that your H's unhelpful comments have probably not helped. Even if you did put on a few pounds, it would just make you a bit fatter, it wouldn't make you a disgusting person.

You have very good insight into what you're eating by the sounds of things, but you're getting yourself into a vicious cycle of eating a bit much, getting cross with yourself, feeling down and so eating more to cheer yourself up. I do exactly the same! I know that it's something I'm going to have to struggle with for the rest of my life, but having that struggle does not make me or you horrible people. Try to put more of a positive spin on it and emphasise to yourself the good things you're doing for your diet and exercise.

I don't have advice, just sympathy. I'm a disgusting fat cow too. I have so much weight to lose and I cannot motivate myself for more than a couple of days at a time, then I pig and pig and end up worse than before. I've never been this big. I really genuinely want someone to gag me so I physically can't eat. My lack of self control is scary. Tonight I have eaten a packet of strawberry laces, a maple pecan plait, and half a chocolate orange. You would think I'd feel sick, but nooo. The only reason I've stopped is because I've run out of *** to eat. I know the really simple answer is to not buy the stuff but I just can't help myself. It's the only thing that made me happy for a long time, and it's a terrible habit I now can't break. I can't convince myself that I don't need this food to feel ok anymore.

Sorry, that's no help, just want you to know you aren't alone xx

I can't say it loud enough, JoJo and OB, that neither of you are disgusting. Not one tiny little bit.

I don't think you do need to do this. I don't have any answers for you but I don't think this will help. xxx

If you work out the secret JoJo, let me know. It's been ingrained into me as a child, I was always encouraged not only to finish my plate but to eat more and more, and to finish what's on the table even though too much had been ordered/cooked. It's the bane of my life. My OH can just hit a level where he's comfortable and he stops. Even if I feel like I'm going to be ill I keep on eating out of greed or something.

Only time I've ever broken the cycle is from shrinking my stomach i.e. I had the flu/noro, lost my appetite completely, didn't feel need to eat after, but that doesn't last long.

I don't drink enough water and I did read sometimes you can mistake thirst for hunger so people say to drink when you think you're hungry

N.B I should probably add before anyone looks at my profile pic and starts shrieking that I'm a phoney that the profile pic is from like 3/4 years ago and I was a 6 day a week swimmer which kept me slim up until the age of 22.

Re: getting counselling as well JoJo, I wouldn't not consider it. I've told OH it feels a bit like a crazy impulse, like I just lose control, and I think something like CBT might not be a bad shout lol. I can't speak for sugar/diabetes end because my craving is salty fatty foods (not much better tbh).

I sympathise with both you guys

Also JoJo, maybe as H isn't necessarily being the most encouraging with secret eating and anti diet, you find an alternative buddy/companion in this? I think another girl might understand more, don't they do support at Weightwatchers or anything?

Jojo/OB, I second kharv that neither of you is disgusting. Eating and appetite is such a complex area, it's not just a matter of you being rubbish with no self-control (which is what I often find myself thinking) - there are all sorts of hormones involved, not to mention all the chemicals in modern food designed to make us crave it, and all the psychology around over-indulging and weight gain/loss. You are not disgusting people.

I think that careful menu planning may help - if you have a set list of meals for the week, and only have in the food for making those, it's much harder to snack on rubbish. If only H&I were ever actually organised enough to do this properly!

Jojo I understand where you are coming from. I can easily devour a whole pizza or a tub of nutella. My OH has a night out in a couple of weeks & all I can think of is getting tv to nyself, ordering a take away & eating chocolate, instead of doing something with my mates.

I find keeping busy helps. Or drinking a herbal tea when watching tv - I don't like eating stuff with them. The wee things like brushing your teeth, soaking in the bath also distract me. And if course not havin the foods in the house.

Im trying to lose weight to get back into a dress for a wedding. Something else that helps, and ties in with the planning that others have spoke about, is having smoothies/ protein drinks. Like Kharv herbal life, these really fill you up & when you know that's what you are having & it takes away the motions of eating which can be hard to halt. Ie this morning I'm having a kale & banana smoothies, mid morning is home made granola & yogurt (takes ages to eat as so crucnhy so a little really does) lunch is goats cheese salad then mid afternoon is a protein shake to keep me going till after my run @ 6pm - I won't be eating till 7. Then I'll shower & catch up on supersize super skinny with a herbal tea then lights out.

In the past it has helped me to think in a WWJD type way. When I was cooking a meal or at a buffet, i would try and think how much would a 'normal' person have to eat. Does that make sense? Is it normal to have 2 lots of sandwiches? No. Is it normal to eat just before going to bed/in the middle of the night etc. No.

At the moment, I don't care as I'm all upduffed and so long as I don't gain more weight than last time I'm not fussed. After that though, I will need to be more sensible. Post 2 kids and in my 30s my body and metabolism will certainly be different to how it was.

It will be very hard for you to lose weight if you have such a negative view of yourself. If you tell yourself that you are a fat pig then you will eat like a fat pig. Before even attempting a diet you need to look after yourself and make changes initially for your emotional wellbeing, rather than your weight.

getting outside to walk your dog, meet a friend for a walk, do a bit of gardening, go swimming, try yoga. All of these will make yourself feel better about yourself, being outside and releasing endorphins. You say you like routine, try to get into the habit of going at the same time everyday and making it part of your routine.

Also speak to your H, or if you feel you can't a friend. Just having someone behind you will make yourself feel more determined. Also may be worth speaking to someone about why you emotionally over eat.

When you are feeling more positive, you can start limiting what you eat. Focus on smaller portion sizes, baulk the rest of the plate with salad and don't have bread in the house if you can't resist it! Focus on the positive changes in your body, get your H to encourage you.

Cut out the weightwatchers. If you've gained in a week it just reinforces in your mind that you are fat and the whole negative thinking begins again. Update the weightless thread with that you took to dog out everyday.

hope this helps. You sound so so down about it. X

I was a proper binger who vomited once a week - I never made myself sick, I just was sick through overrating. It was definitely compulsive behaviour. I've been 'clean' for about five years.

I had hypnotherapy. I also did a milkshake diet which actually I don't advocate but it really did show me I could survive without food.

I had counselling in the end. I'm losing weight again now by following the Fast Diet. It's so interesting - if you like reading get the book, it was £2.95 in Tesco's.

Jo, I still can overeat. But when I do now it feels 'normal' it's not in a self harming destructive way. You can get over it but you have to try new solutions. The first part is by believing your worthy enough to try and be the person you want to be. That's the key. Sorry if that sounds a bit pop psychology - but so much I've read about you makes me think it's valid.

x

Ladies, if anyone deserves your love and respect in this world it's yourselves, first and foremost! It's so painful reading people saying things like this about themselves.

I don't have a lot of advice to offer but wanted to mention a two week detox that helped me enormously. I'm not going to lie it was one of the hardest things I've ever done!

It's a two week liver detox and is completely healthy. You cut out the five things that your liver has to deal with and essentially it is free to deal with fat loss. The five things are - sugar, wheat, dairy, caffeine and alcohol.

I know that sounds crazy, and trust me I didn't think it was possible, but it really helped my weight loss and also temporarily cured all my stomach complaints (I'm not sure whether I'm intolerant or have IBS or acid reflux).

If anyone would like me to send some recipes that don't include any of the five I wouldn't mind.

The difficulty I always had though was not with meals, but with cravings for crap after my meal - i.e. chocolate, biscuits and cake. I used to have mini milks in the freezer to reward myself if I had been good that day.

I was lucky also to have the support of a bootcamp instructor, who was very knowledgeable and passed on a lot of tricks for satisfying cravings.

I hope some of this helps.

You are not disgusting, ?

Sorry to say that I have no advice but I will echo what others have said about you not moving forward if you harbour bad thought about yourself.

This post has made me quite sad as I too am an secret eater. My downfall is sweet stuff. My car is full of wrappers, I eat in bed and hide wrappers, often pick up something on my way home and pop the evidence in the bin before I go into the house. I try to limit the 'bad' stuff that I buy for the boys but often binge on what we have and end up having to go out and replace it.

A few people know of my food issues but because they don't see me as being overweight they just think I'm 'lucky'. I am about a stone over weight but a size 12/14 people don't see this as a problem.

I have had hypnotherapy and as I'm quite shy with new people, counselling wouldn't work for me. It isn't boredom as I am often knitting, sewing and generally keeping my hands busy.

I think my answer is to be more active but lack motivation.

I'm not looking for sympathy or kind words, I just want others to know that you ate not on your own with your food monster within.

❤️

Although I'm not significantly overweight, I do have a problem with comfort eating. I think it's a way of coping with my anxiety, eating junk food makes me feel better and I didn't have any other way to cope. Although it's early days, I'm on the way to getting better. Here are the things I've found to be important:

1) Exercise. I'm not a sporty person at all, but I've been doing the 30 day shred DVD and I really enjoy it. It's only 20 minutes so I can easily fit it into my day, and as its so intensive it gives me an endorphin rush which means I don't crave the sugar rush. It also helps me sleep better and boosts my self esteem as I can feel myself getting fitter. Not to say the 30DS is for everyone, but I would really recommend trying a few different types of intensive exercise to see if there's one that works for you.

2) Believing that you deserve to be treated well, especially and most importantly by yourself. I struggle with very low self esteem, and part of that is I've never cared about my appearance. I've now thrown away all my tatty clothes and underwear, and I've started to make an effort with my appearance. You need to believe that you are worthy of feeling good about yourself and looking after your body. Counselling could also really help with this. I have my first appointment with a counsellor tomorrow to start properly addressing my self esteem issues.

3) Getting your husband on board. I know this is not always easy, and mine didn't quite understand at first. But getting your husband to understand that you need his help means you have someone to keep you in check, someone to confiscate the junk food if you do have it in the house etc.

I do think root overeating is low self esteem though, it definitely is for me. Jojo and OB, you are both really beautiful women, and I'm not just saying that. In the wise words of Loreal, you're worth it, and you need to believe that you are.

Okay, I've read through this all and I would like to reiterate that neither OB or JoJo are disgusting.

I used to eat badly and constantly too. For me a lot of it was to do with boredom - walking home from work I'd pop into the shop for a packet of crisps or something to munch on the way home as it was a long boring walk.

For me, it was more of a case of changing my attitude to food. Essentially, I was eating too much and not moving enough. Naughty foods had to become a reward to me. If I had done no exercise, then I didnt deserve a KFC/choccy bar, etc.

I know this wont work for everyone, but it worked for me. It was the smaller goal of getting some form of exercise at least every other day that took the focus off of the food.

I do :o)

I'll reply here tonight with a bit more info x

Nobody here is disgusting.

"Detox" diets are scientific nonsense but will work as a low-fat diet to help you feel better and lose weight.

Jojo85, perhaps a scare tactic for you (to complement the emotional support that comes more easily to others on this thread!):

My Dad dropped all of his excess weight after being diagnosed with Type II diabetes. This is linked to obesity. You regularly mention about having to monitor H's diet/eating/blood sugar, trying to keep him on track and so on. You know how dreadful this disease can be. Have you thought about what you're doing to yourself?

Hope you're feeling a bit better ?

As usual, some excellent advice on here, just remember we are all behind you and take every hour as it comes!

Could you make a daily plan, where each hour is allotted to something specific?

7-9 am - Get the boys up and out
9-10 am - Hoover/dust
10-11 am - Cup of tea/two biscuits/read a book
11-12 am - Go to the shops for groceries
12-1 pm - Lunch/TV
etc etc, whatever works best.

You can schedule time for exercise. Do you do regular gardening (which is a great way to sneakily exercise)? If you impose a rigorous routine on yourself, it might stop you thinking about doing stuff and actually get doing stuff. You might not wonder about eating biscuits NOW because you know that you can sit and relax to eat a couple in an hour's time.

First, neither you nor OB are disgusting. No more of that, please.

Jo, you asked about how the skinnier lot manage their weight, so I want to tell you what works for me.

Over the past year I've lost about a stone and a half. I'm back to my pre-marriage weight but probably around 7lbs heavier than I was throughout my adult life until the good livin' with Mr S took over. For me it's as simple as deciding that I don't want to be fat. I have quite a petite frame and so it doesn't take much weight to swamp it. I am also pretty lazy when it comes to exercise, despite the fact it makes me feel better and does me the world of good, so the best way for me to control my weight is to control my diet.

Ultimately I am able to admit to a degree of vanity (I look so much better at my 'fighting' weight than at my 'eating far too much of the wrong stuff' weight) and tightness with my money (I am not prepared to buy a whole new wardrobe in bigger sizes simply because I've been too careless with my intake) and I realise I don't need to be overweight if I remain sensible with my food. I don't deny myself any particular food groups but I do watch my portion size, I try to eat only when hungry (bear in mind I work from home, with food available at all times, so this is a real win when it comes to will power) and we don't buy unnecessary 'bad' food.

I'm not dismissing the emotional attachment to food, it's something I recognise in my own eating habits during times of stress, and I can certainly see how it can be a useful tool in times where you feel a lack of control over aspects of your life. But, and there is a big but, I do believe it's all too easy to blame those external influences when ultimately we have control over what we shovel into our cake holes. Everyone has issues to some degree but not everyone is overweight. If I put on weight it's MY fault for eating too much of the wrong things, for not making time to eat the right things, for making the wrong choices. It's not the fault of a relationship break up, work place stress, a house move gone wrong. Knowing that I am accountable for my weight makes it far easier for me to make the right choices. Literally, the day that I 'discovered' the stark and obvious truth last year, something in my mind changes and losing weight has been pretty easy for me and the way I eat now is completely different. I also feel very differently about my body. I've loved rediscovering my body at this weight and feel so much more confidant than I have ever done before. I figure that I ought to be making the most of what I have as it ill change when I get older and it certainly won't be any easier to lose weight. I'd be an idiot not to keep it in check now. It's a combination of those things that ensures I JFDI and kick my laziness into touch. It's what works for me.

Its really hard to make new habits & establish a new 'normal' but it really is possible if you have the right mindset, are determined and can see the longer term picture.

You will of course have blips but one bad meal / snack . day wont undo any work,

Theres a great fitness pic floating about on facebook- it basically says If you dropped your phone you wouldnt keep dropping it until it broke into pieces so why do the same with your diet - I find it really inspiring.

I also took a 'before' pic of myself in my underwear - front & side view then used a college app to have it as one picture, Im going to take a new one every month. I dont weigh myself, I measure my body fat % and go by my jeans. Might be a useful visual tool?

Your weight naturally flucuates and I think constant weight watching can be a very vicious cycle - ie 'oh Ive just been weighed, Ive done really well, lets eat chinese takeaway & cake'.

I think that WW, SW and other diests are all crap. They are temporary, no one I know sticks to it for life. I think what you need to do is speak to a counsellor about the root causes of overeating and tackle these. More often than not its not hunger at all.

I have read this thread whilst eating a whole packet of Lindor mini eggs ?

I am supposed to be on a diet but picked them up whilst in Sainsbury's getting some heat patches for my muscle spasms which are really, really getting me down. ?

I can easily out eat my OH - he needs to eat a lot because he has an active job, I sit at a desk all day. I eat for comfort & through boredom, mainly due to many years of being lonely & stressed.

I regularly eat a large meal then I'm still hungry which is when I go for sweet stuff.

I need to lose weight for a) my wedding, b) my knees, c) general health & d) to improve the chances of being able to have children.

I've tried WW in the past lost loads, put it all back on.

Currently doing old fashioned calorie counting on MyFitnessPal it has worked a bit. The hardest problem I seem to have is actually eating the required number of calories without reaching for the sweet stuff - I'm regularly under the calories I'm supposed to eat.

JoJo - counselling might not work but have you considered hypnotherapy? My Mum used it a few years ago to deal with eating and issues with her Mum. Might be worth investigating.

JoJo - sorry I got caught up last night.

I do echo what a few people have said about diets - in that a permanent lifestyle change is healthier, but I really did have some good results from cutting out those five things (wheat, dairy, sugar, alcohol and caffeine) and gained some good habits to take forward with me.

The significant thing to remember is to consider if something is in it's natural state. The biggest thing I took from it was that bread is not great and so I only have it as a treat now. I replace bread and pasta for potatoes or rice.

Breakfast:

greek yoghurt and berries

scrambled egg and tomatoes

banana and some cashew nuts

Lunch:

Salad and oily fish

Chunky homemade soups

Left overs from dinner

Dinner:

Anything involving fresh meat or fish, rice or potatoes and fresh fruit and veg.

I recently made salmon (roasted with paprika, chilli, oregano) with a balsamic and cherry tomato sauce on brown rice.

Last night we had lemon chicken (roasted with lemon zest/juice, garlic, oregano, olive oil, honey) with potatoes roasted in olive oil (I peel, cut into circles, blanche for 5min and roast for 20-30min).

I love making turkey chilli (plenty of fresh veg, chilli, paprika, garlic, oregano, tomato puree) with sweet potato chips.

Desert: - the one I struggle with as I LOVE sweet things!

apple cooked with cinnamon and sultanas

strawberries cooked with a drop of vanilla extract and flaked almonds

greek yoghurt mashed up with blueberries with banana

(but if I feel I've been really good all day - a mini milk! haha)

Have a google of Liver Detox and you'll find a lot of info about them and more ideas for meals etc.

I hope this helps even just a little bit x

I was brought up like that as well. I feel guilty and bad if l don't finish everything even if l don't like it! E.g. last night my veggies were quite bitter and nasty but l still forced myself to eat them.

I am a terrible for picking and l have a massive appetite. My meals are good and fairly healthy but l pick all of the time on crisps, sweets, chocolate, cake, biscuits etc etc. I only started my new placement 1.5 weeks and it has already been noticed how much l pick! I am quite active -walking everywhere and going to the gym but my picking undoes all of this good work. I am hungry all of the time.

?

I was going to suggest the same as Footlong, do a daily plan. I am rubbish without a plan, today I dont have a plan and have not moved my bottom off the sofa for the last 2 hours.

Things that get me going.

Daily/weekly plan what to do on each day at various times

Doing the MFP diary - even when being naughty it makes me aware of what I am eating (mfp friends might remember the other week when I went 2000 calories over my intake...)

Each week I go through cupboards/fridge/freezer and work out what I have and then what I need to buy to make meals from what I already have. This saves me money and saves me from myself. I mostly shop online and only follow my list not on the list it's not allowed.

Make myself exercise, it makes me happier and I loose weight quicker.

I have the tick box poster on my fridge with photos of me in my pants (huge motivator I must say)

Would you like me to send you the 30DS link again?

How are you doing, Jo? It's unlike you not to come back and tell us your plan!