Panicking … along with family issues

My advice would be to separate each issue out, and work out what you do something about and what you can’t. At the minute, you’ll be looking at everything as one big problem which makes it really overwhelming, so break it down into smaller chunks.

From what you’ve said:

No dress: You might not have time to order from a boutique, but you certainly have time to go to somewhere like Wed2Be or David’s Bridal. There are also lots of high street stores that carry wedding collections. You will definitely find one.

Financial setback: This is probably the biggest potential problem, but is also one you can control by going back to your budget and working out where savings can be made, and if anything needs to be cut. It’s where you need to be honest with yourselves about whether it means more to you to get married at that time, or wait for the finances to create a dream wedding. There is loads of advice all around these forums about how to save money (the main one being having a smaller guest list).

Your mum: Without knowing details, this a hard to give advice about, however you can’t control someone else’s behaviour, so this might need to be one you let go and see what she decides to do.

Aisle: I’m assuming this is tied up with your mum - I would suggest having a plan B that makes you comfortable. Either become comfortable with the idea of walking yourself down the aisle (that’s what I’m doing), or maybe ask a close friend or relative if they’d be prepared to stand in if your mum isn’t there (maybe your maid of honour). You could even walk down with your daughter is she’s at walking age.

Fiancé’s mum: As I mentioned before, you can’t control someone else’s behaviour - but you can add her to your fiancé’s ‘to do’ list. You have enough to deal with, so any time she says or does anything you don’t like, make that his situation to deal with, not yours. Even if he doesn’t do it properly, just being able to say to yourself, “she is not my problem” can be so liberating.

My suggestions here might all be completely inappropriate for your situation, but hopefully the concept (separating it all out) will help you to see a way back to enjoying the process.

Agree with Sarah ♥️

Hi Lucy, sorry to hear things are very stressful at the moment. Hope it all works out soon. The most important thing is that you are getting married and you are excited about this. I went to wed2be with a budget and tried on some gorgeous dresses so you could definitely find one there. I went to a bridal boutique that had recently had a sample sale on and tried those dresses on, I found my dress and got it for a great bargain. The boutique have been great and offer professional wedding dress dry cleaning and alterations for the dress. This is also an option that you could try, I think most boutiques have sample sale dresses to try, they’re just the dresses that have been tried on by other brides before they’ve had theirs custom made. I think walking down the aisle by yourself is a great idea too, especially if your mum is making things difficult for you. Just try and remember it’s yours day x

I bought a mail order dress which was way cheaper and quicker than a boutique one. And there are loads of other things you can do to cut costs for your wedding. Just work out a revised budget to suit your new financial circumstances and then work out what is most important for you and prioritise those things first.

I'm sorry you're dealing with a strained relationship with both mothers on top of it. With MIL, I would put her on an 'information diet'. Tell her that you're keeping wedding details a secret to surprise her on the big day - if she doesn't know what you're planning, then she can't keep on at you to alter it!

Walking down the aisle - you could consider meeting your OH at the entrance and walking in together. That's what we did.

Thanks for sharing that information.