I am going to be a bridesmaid for my brothers partner later this year, she has asked us to buy our own bridesmaids dresses, which in theory I am fine with as my logic was 'I would be buying a new outfit for my brothers wedding anyway, so it’s no different to buy it her chosen colour'. When she asked, she basically said; buy whatever you like, as long as it is in the colour scheme - perfect.
As things progress with the dress hunting, she is starting to get more and more prescriptive about what we can and can't have. I initially wanted to buy a two birds style dress from BHS, full length because I hate my legs, but she has decided that we can't have anything stretchy.... ok... then we couldn't have full length because ‘they always drag on the floor and look awful’, then we could have full length, now she 'doesn't care'.
I am quite busty, and wanted a dress with straps... or some sort of support; she prefers strapless dresses and has pulled a face at anything I have shown her with straps, sleeves, sheer necklines etc. I am trying to pick something she will like and I will not look like a prostitute in!
She has now put forward a shortlist of 5 dresses, which she likes and would like myself and the other 2 bridesmaids to choose from. She wants us all to pick a different dress from the 5. Needless to say, all 5 are strapless and knee length. If this is what she wants fine, I just wish she had said this all along rather than saying ‘pick whatever you want’.
My issue is that the CHEAPEST dress on the short list is £195!! The most expensive is around £400. Personally, I think this is asking a lot for somebody to pay, especially as we then have to get shoes (*have* to be the same colour as the dress, so can’t wear something I already have), jewellery, hair, makeup, overnight accommodation night before and night of the wedding, hen weekend away. She is not having a big budget wedding; her own dress only cost £300, so I can’t understand why she thinks we will all be able to pay out this much! I am saving like MAD for my own wedding, one of her other bridesmaids is still in college and only works 4 hours per week, so never has any cash.
My other issue is that if I am paying for the dress, I want to have something that I can wear again and feel comfortable in, which I know I won’t if my legs are on show and my boobs are popping out!
Am I being unreasonable here? Apparently the other bridesmaids have told her to just pick something and they will buy it (although I don’t know how they can afford it!).
Ladies - are you paying for your girls, or are they paying for themselves? And if they are paying are they picking? And how much would you expect them to spend?
I have shown her some similar dresses that are around the £80 mark but she keeps saying that she doesn’t like them or they look naff – don’t know what else to do!!
