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Dedicated March 2024 Essex

Plus one situation

Alison, 30 of January of 2024 at 21:12 Posted on Etiquette and Advice 0 3

FHs usher was in a relationship up until quite recently. His previous partner was very much invited to our wedding.

When they split up and she said she wasn’t coming anymore we were able to invite some family children that we were feeling guilty about not inviting the first time (circumstances changed and we ended up having to invite certain children so it was looking bad that we hadn’t invited these kids and was good to be able to rectify it).

Usher has, as of this weekend, got a new girlfriend. He keeps complaining that he “had his plus one revoked” although I have explained to him that his ex was not a +1, she was an invited guest. He is doing it in a jokey way but I kind of get the feeling he is annoyed?

Reason’s she isn’t invited

  • - We are at the maximum recommended capacity (+ a baby).
  • - We have given final numbers to caterers and are just waiting for them to draw up an invoice.
  • - I’ve already done the seating plan and ordered a printed copy.
  • - Nobody has met her.
  • - I have had to decline another friend’s request to bring a new partner whom he has been with for about 5 months because of space and the fact I already allocated any spare spaces due to other changes in the guest list
  • - The wedding is in a matter of weeks!

I like to try and be accommodating and have invited all couples in established relationships but surely this isn’t unreasonable, is it?

3 replies

Latest activity by Michelle, 4 of February of 2024 at 13:08
  • R
    VIP July 2020 Monmouthshire
    RomanticGreenStationery27135 ·
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    Your usher is being ridiculous. Of course you are not unreasonable.

    Plus if she's only just become his girlfriend as of this weekend, they might not even still be together by the time of the wedding!

    Just keep pointing out that he never had a 'plus one' in the first place - his ex was invited as a named guest whom you knew, and when she declined, you offered the invitation to another guest whom you also knew - and that this was before he and his girlfriend got together. And that you can't offer him an invitation for his brand new girlfriend because that would mean dis-inviting someone who has already said they are coming, since the venue is at maximum capacity.

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  • Charlotte
    VIP April 2022 Wiltshire
    Charlotte ·
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    He needs to grow up! This is your day and he is being ridiculous to think he can bring someone he is in all likelihood not going to be with in a few months! I would just send him the list you posted ad say i hope this clarifies the situation and there is no further discussion on the subject, you dont need the stress and he needs to respect your decision

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  • Michelle
    VIP July 2024 Cheshire
    Michelle ·
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    Agree with the others on this one x❤️
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