Politely not inviting family members

If your mother is going to find it stressful, then I think offering her a 'plus one' to bring a trusted friend, as you are doing, is kind and considerate. But you don't have to double the size of your wedding just to keep her happy.

What you do will depend on whether she has just told your aunts that she is going to get them invited or if she has told them they are definitely coming. If it's the latter, then you are going to have to tell them as kindly as possible that the wedding is limited to immediate family only. If your mum is only talking about invites, then simply telling her that this is not going to happen should be sufficient.

I'm so sorry you are having to deal with this. I think the guest list is always the biggest headache when organising a wedding, but stand firm!

I feel your pain ;/ my Dad felt strange as I said to him he invite two family members to the ceremony. I dont speak to my dad's side of the family they dont really have anything to do with me. Maybe in the evening time of your wedding you could invite those extra guests.

We are only having 34 guests at main wedding. In the evening time I have said to my Dad he can invite 5 family members extra. He even said he will pay for them as well. This is not the point I did not want them there all together!

I don't talk to my family because we wanted to do it on our own with just are 3 kids 21,18,11 but they found out haven't spoken for a while stick to what you both feel is best for you both it's hard the situation you are in hope you sort it x♥️

Hi how's the situation with family going x💕

View quoted message Hi all, thanks for taking the time to reply to my post or ask how the situation is going. Basically, there was a breakdown in communication - my mother didn't invite her sisters, they assumed they were invited and no one corrected them. My mum sees my point of view and is sorry, but she can't stand the idea of any problems - so she's paid for all 6 extra guests herself. From the money side, it does help, but I am still nervous about everyone being together. I think I'll write everyone a note to let them know how I feel about the whole situation of them coming together and simply ask that they just avoid eachother, no one needs to be polite and make awkward conversation. If I see anyone acting out of place, they will have to accept my telling them to leave before anything escalates. It's nice that everyone wants to be there for me, but I need to have my say and be sure my point of view is acknowledged and understood as well.

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It sounds as if you are handling this really well ( a lot better than your mother, to be honest!) I agree that contacting the family in advance is a good idea. Be very clear that if anyone cannot be civil in the presence of other invited guests, then they should not attend. It might also be worth telling your mum that whether or not she is prepared to pay, she doesn't get to invite anyone else to the wedding!

View quoted message Hi olive I think it's your decision if your mum is willing to pay it's upto you both I hope it works out the way you want it too ♥️ good luck with all your planning x♥️

View quoted message Hi Olive! What a wonderful response, I like the note idea. It gets it across. Not regarding family but I felt the same regarding x2 friends who are going through a bad divorce. We spoke to them both but now sadly one isn’t coming because of them being too heartbroken to see the other one. So not the same but as a bride I understand you feelings. It will all be perfect! ❤️