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Olive
Beginner February 2025 Lothian & Borders

Politely not inviting family members

Olive, 23 of February of 2024 at 03:30 Posted on Planning 0 4
Hi, I'm getting married in April 2025 and even though I'd always said to my mother that I didn't want family there (apart from her, my dad and brother) she has disregarded this and taken it upon herself to invite my 3 aunts and their husbands anyway. Long story short - her and my dad are divorced and they hate each other, she wants her sisters there for support, but they also hate my dad. It's also very stressful for me because I don't want to invite my cousins either, but that sense of obligation is looming. So I've got this situation where what was meant to be just the immediate family attending, could now be between 6-10 additional invitations where the majority of those attending don't even like my father. My mum has rather pushed me into considering the extra invitations as she claims her sisters will all pay for the champagne and that she "needs" them there as she can't go alone against my dad, but my intention was always to have her bring a friend. The wedding is well over a year away, but I'm already so stressed about this one situation, it's keeping me up at night. Any advice?

4 replies

Latest activity by Michelle, 12 of April of 2024 at 14:29
  • R
    VIP July 2020 Monmouthshire
    RomanticGreenStationery27135 ·
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    If your mother is going to find it stressful, then I think offering her a 'plus one' to bring a trusted friend, as you are doing, is kind and considerate. But you don't have to double the size of your wedding just to keep her happy.

    What you do will depend on whether she has just told your aunts that she is going to get them invited or if she has told them they are definitely coming. If it's the latter, then you are going to have to tell them as kindly as possible that the wedding is limited to immediate family only. If your mum is only talking about invites, then simply telling her that this is not going to happen should be sufficient.

    I'm so sorry you are having to deal with this. I think the guest list is always the biggest headache when organising a wedding, but stand firm!

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  • Katrina
    Dedicated February 2025 West Midlands
    Katrina ·
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    I feel your pain ;/ my Dad felt strange as I said to him he invite two family members to the ceremony. I dont speak to my dad's side of the family they dont really have anything to do with me. Maybe in the evening time of your wedding you could invite those extra guests.

    We are only having 34 guests at main wedding. In the evening time I have said to my Dad he can invite 5 family members extra. He even said he will pay for them as well. This is not the point I did not want them there all together!

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  • Michelle
    VIP July 2024 Cheshire
    Michelle ·
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    I don't talk to my family because we wanted to do it on our own with just are 3 kids 21,18,11 but they found out haven't spoken for a while stick to what you both feel is best for you both it's hard the situation you are in hope you sort it x♥️
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  • Michelle
    VIP July 2024 Cheshire
    Michelle ·
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    Hi how's the situation with family going x💕
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