Rubbish experience yesterday - smear test (def TMI)

No you aren't a weirdo, we are all different sizes, they do make speculum in different sizes, I am surprised they only had one size. When I went for my colposcopy she had to try 3 different speculum and still couldnt get a good view and had to give up (the first time she'd ever had to).

Can you take someone with you to relax you a bit when you next go? Please do go, it really is important.

Thanks Zoe...she did have different sizes, but the smallest one was tstill too big. I am going to a walk in clinic on Saturday and my friend has said she'll come with me x

Ar ok, sounded like she didnt lol. I wouldnt worry and take it as a compliment that you dont have a chuff like a wizard's sleeve!!

It does help having someone to take your mind off it, and you really need to try not to clench (apparently coughing helps).

I totally get how embarassing it is though, Im still waiting for an appointment with the consultant to re do my colposcopy (somehow the fact its a man is making me dread it more)

Not odd at all (and this coming from someone who sticks 'those clampy things' up people's bits all day ?)

It really is important to try and be relaxed - especially to relax your bum muscles. You need to be totally floppy and relaxed - I always tell my patients to imagine they are on a beach sunbathing somewhere nice with a cocktail!

It's hard when someone tells you to relax - you want to do the opposite - but keep going with deep breaths, floppy legs and relaxed bum muscles and you'll be fine.

?

I had to have an endometrial biopsy taken and like you, I'm apparently very small.

However the gyno did manage and I hope neve to have this done again! He said that normally they would administer an anaesthetic, but that since the procedure was very quick, did I want to just go ahead there and then?

Hope you are ok, it'll be a wee bit sore and stingy but you will be fine ?

Thanks for your reassurances - Evy, that sounds painful ?

R-A, is is normal to be so narrow even after a sexual relationship? I was trying my hardest to let her get on with it but because it took her so long to find the cervix I began to feel uncomfortable...I didn't realise how far in it had to go ? She said the one that they will use at the clinic is for virgins and very small people - is my cervix small or the bit in between? Sorry for all the questions.

? at 'wizard's sleeve - that's cheered me up.

The only upside is that my nurse is Chinese, so virgin became wirgin. I pranced around singing 'Like a wirgin' thinking it was very funny...until my friend told me Bridget Jones sang it first <sigh>

It's your vag that's tight, not the cervix (in your case). I hear that's quite highly prized ?

Yep, totally normal. By definition women in my clinic have to have had sex or they wouldn't be there, and I have plenty of women with tight bits!

Try to relax all your muscles, yoga-stylee and you'll be fine ?

At the risk of you all laughing at me.....last time I went for my smear the nurse asked how many children i've had - I said 6 and she went back to the cupboard to get the biggest size speculum out ??

My H insisted that my chuff is not a wizard's sleeve and I do have a degree in pelvic floor exercises ?

First of all, well done for going, it's so so important and even if it was awful you've proved to yourself that you survived and can cope with it. I think rather than dreading the clinic it's worth bearing in mind that the people there will be fangita experts and so will in all likelihood be quicker and easier at it. My mum used to work at one of those clinics and always told me to go there if for any reason I had a problem at my surgery (I never have, clearly I have a wizard's sleeve type!).

You've reminded me I need to book my smear in the next few weeks so thank you.

This post has just made me realise why my smear the other week didnt hurt as much as the last one.

Since then I have had a baby .... ? I have a wizards sleeve now dont I !

This is far tmi, but might help you . .

Smears are very very painful for me, because of my health problems my vaginal wall (not sure it's proper name) is very thin and prone to being perfortated, I also have a lot of inflammation. They have to very careful with smear test, it is hard to relax but what I do is tell the nurse that I can't talk whilst she does it, and instead I find something to look at and focus on it, so for instance, if there is a sink, I will look at it, imagine filling it with water and washing dishes, thinking of each dish individually . .. I know how daft it sounds, but it really works, as I concentrate so much, I automatically relax.

I did similar, when in an emergancy I had to have my stomach opened without any anaesthetic, I stared out of the window at Harrow school, and imagined the classrooms and the students, etc etc, I can honestly say that I didn't feel the pain as they punctured the skin.

It's odd actually, I did it because I had read about a P.O.W doing it whilst having awful things done to him, I had completely forgotten about it, but I remember as soon as the Doctor said what he needed to do.

I hope it goes ok for you? you could take a couple of pain killers beforehand too, this will hopefully help with any discomfort.

ooft! getting your stomach opened? poor you MF, that sounds bloody awful!?

It wasn't one of the best moments of my life, but it did save my life, so can't grumble- unlike the nurse who was assisting and nearly passed out, so they had to call a nurse to come in and look after her!

x

Thank you all....MF - you poor thing, that must have been poo.

I think I will take some painkillers - anything's worth a try. I'm definitely going to go tomorrow, thank you ?

My old GP who also worked half the week as a gynae at the women's hospital told me to make my hands into fists and stick them under my bum to lift myself up a bit, and also to wiggle my toes. If you're concentrating on wiggling your toes it's harder to clench. Raising yourself up a bit can make the cervix easier to find if it's very high up, as well.

Ruby -totally know how you feel.

I had a smear on THursday and the nurse said to me " you can tell you've not had children"...she struggled with me but she did manage to do the smear. I was really embarrassed as I've never been told that I'm 'small' downthere on previous smears.

Good luck for your next one xx

I feel your pain (and embarrassment)...it's so nice to know I'm not the only one, all I've ever been told is that it's a bit uncomfortable but quick and painless.

Ladelley, that sounds like a good trick - might have to do it subtly though ?

When I had my first smear I was also asked if i was a virgin, the nurse worked her way through different sizes and in desperation heated one under a tap of hot water? and there was no way I was going to relax after that, she then asked me if I was sure I wasnt a virgin!! (I said I was more than sure but phone my boyfriend if she wanted confirmation!) I went to the family planning for my next one and the nurse had no problems what so ever!

? God - this is so like what happened to me. She went off and said she was going to get water - I don't know what the heck she did with it because I had my eyes tightly closed by then with my hands over my face.

"Are you a wirgin?"

"No, I'm married actually - so definitely not a virgin."

"How old were you when you no longer a wirgin."

"Erm, 20."

"Hmm...when you want baby, put pillow under bottom after making love."

"Eek, am I going to have problems?"

"No - maximise your chances, you're very small."

Aaargh!

She was trying to be nice!

Honestly: heating them doesn't make it any easier to find your cervix - just makes them less cold so less uncomfortable for you!

We use plastic ones where I work anyway, so not an issue.

WRT the fist under bum thing: it depends where your cervix is: if your doc/nurse thinks it'll help, they'll ask you to do it. It doesn't make things more comfortable, just makes seeing the cervix easier IF it's in a certain position.

Edited as I repeated myself, whoops!

RB: your nurse, I'm sorry to say, was chatting a load of ***!

Size of your flange/cervix has nothing to do with how easily you'll conceive!

Really? I imagined a tiny pipe with less chance of 'flow' (sorry) the way she was describing it...oh dear ?

Are you a nurse R-A, or a gynae? Thanks again for your reassurances.

Oh - mine was plastic too - saw it afterwards.

Everyone cervix is tiny until you have kids. It's as much as you can do to insert the tip of a 1mm swab in. In fact I think it's pretty amazing anyone ever gets pregnant!

But flange size has nowt to do with it (unless you're so tight you can't have sex I guess!)

I'm a sexual health doc at the mo but currently in the process of applying to specialist training in obs&gynae.

I did say it makes it easier to find your cervix if it's high up. It does make it more comfortable if there is going to be less rooting around ? Unfortunately in my experience, the person doing the smear, especially if they're a registrar or an intern on a rotation, may not ask you to do it and may just say "Oh, I can't find the cervix" instead. I've had at least a dozen smears and more vaginal exams in the last 10 years, all done by different doctors/nurses, so I always ask them if they want me to do it. As an aside, I was very surprised when I discovered they used metal speculums over here rather than plastic disposable ones.

Sorry if I sounded if I was getting at you - didn't mean to - just trying to help RB understand what's going on!

Definitely a good idea to offer, especially if you've had it done before and know what works for you. (same as 'this is the vein that they usually manage to get blood from...')

I'm a bit worried if registrars can't find your cervix though! I won't be a Reg for at least 2 1/2 years and by then I'll have had 8 years training! I do know what you mean though (interns are called house officers or Fy1 over here - reg is the same as a senior resident).

We don't at our clinic, in fact I haven't seen a metal speculum at all for > 5 yrs.

I think some GP surgeries still do, but I don't know about that.

Ah, they're interns and registrars in Australia. I don't actually know if she was an intern (or equivalent) or a student, but she was just starting on the gynae rotation and I was being investigated for a threatened miscarriage and it was her first time using a speculum, which was metal, and she managed to catch me in it. Walsall PCT and whichever Tamworth is in still use metal, unfortunately.

I've always been happy to be examined, etc, by students, but not any more for gynae stuff, anyway.

I'm guessing that in someone who only dilated to 3cm then had an emergency section, their os is going to be honeymoon fresh? Only I've got an appointment to have a coil fitted next week and last time (pre-child) it flipping hurt ?

Sorry to hear that Ladelley, that sounds totally inappropriate. And painful.

Student have to learn - but we teach ours on models first - and then in clinic on non-acute patients. In fact some medical schools now have 'expert gynae patients' who come in and let hundreds of students stick speculums up their bits. GOK why they do it!

Nah, you'll be fine after al that lovely hormonal pregnancy stretching.

And GPs have stopped using metal speculae after the sterilisation rules got so tight they became impossible to do; hence the disposable ones.

Thank goodness for hormones then! ?

Aargh my Hitched has gone funny and somehow just managed to delete my reply somehow but anyway Zoay got there first!