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Beginner October 2019 Bedfordshire

Second time around, is it wrong to be excited?

Becky, 23 October, 2020 at 13:33 Posted on Off Topic Posts 0 9

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Hello, I’m new here and just got engaged to the most wonderful man. I’m happier and more stable than I’ve ever been, all of my friends and family think we are perfect together but I’ve suddenly had a bit of a breakdown about how others my see our wedding/engagement

I’ve been married before. I knew at the time I shouldn’t have gone through with it. I was quite young and stupid and got swept up in it all. Alas it didn’t last long and was 7 years ago now.
I’m panicking that I’m not “allowed” to be excited about getting married again. Because I’ve done it before. Will people think I’m a fraud? That I shouldn’t have a lovely wedding because of that? I feel guilty being over the moon about it and that people will just assume that it will fall apart like the last one because I made the mistake before.
Is this normal for any second time brides?
I’ll openly admit I’m a real people pleaser and suffer hugely with anxiety, so I do worry what people think.
I’m terrified people will assume I’m going to fail at love again, even though this couldn’t feel more different from before x

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9 replies

Latest activity by Marie, 12 September, 2021 at 10:35

Dedicated June 2021 Cornwall
Mrsa2021 · 23 October, 2020 at 17:24
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Hello,

Congratulations on your engagement! I am in the exact same boat and could have written your post.
I haven't experienced any negatively as I think my friends/family know how truly happy I am this time. If you do experience any negatively, just ignore them! Just focus on yourself and your happiness and don't let anyone take that away from you. Enjoy every moment! X
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Beginner October 2019 Bedfordshire
Becky · 23 October, 2020 at 21:02
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Thank you so much for this lovely reply, it’s such an odd one isn’t it!
Like you’ve said you are, I’m so truly happy this time round and I know deep down that’s the main thing.
Thank you for putting my mind at ease that I’m not the only person in the world to feel like this.
Huge congratulations to you too and I wish you every happiness now you’ve found the right one xx
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Curious October 2021 Berkshire
Andrea · 30 October, 2020 at 18:36
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Congratulations on finding love again, my parents marriage is my mum's second marriage and she always says she should never have married her first husband. Mum and Dad have been married for nearly 49 years now so second chances can work just fine!
Although I dont have experience of your situation from a first hand point of view I wanted to say that your family and friends love you and just want what is best for you. I can guarantee they are all over the moon for you and if anyone isn't, well then maybe you need to reevaluate their role in your life.
X
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Savvy August 2021 Cardiff
HotDiggityDamn83 · 8 November, 2020 at 13:58
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Hello - second time for me too!
I shouldn't - but I've found myself slightly embarassed talking about it. An old uni pal made a little dig "here we go again".
I'm happy to do a small registry office wedding but fiance wants "a proper wedding".
Don't worry - just enjoy planning and look forward to it!
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Missouri
Dany · 14 December, 2020 at 08:59
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Congratulations on your engagement! Like what people say, love is lovelier the second time around, so don't worry about what other people say. What's most important is you love each other and you're both happy to be with each other. And also, stay with people that encourage you and give you support and stay away from people who don't, that will give you peace of mind.
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Beginner May 2023 Warwickshire
Vicki · 8 September, 2021 at 21:25
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Completely with you. Second time for me too, trying not to get too excited and sometimes feel embarrassed talking about it too even with family. I'm even at the point of going wedding dress shopping on my own so there is no fuss.
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VIP July 2024 Cheshire
Michelle · 8 September, 2021 at 21:48
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I think all that matters is your happy and found the one you want we all do things that are silly when we are young x💗 Congratulations x💗
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Beginner June 2022 Oxfordshire
Louise · 12 September, 2021 at 09:41
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Congratulations!! I think the fact you are this excited even though it is the second time says a lot about your love for your partner ❤ ignore the trolls, your relationship is all that matters, not other people's misconception of it.

I've only just started planning a year after getting engaged and now the date that we so dearly wanted has been booked by every venue in the area so for me the excitement has really ebbed... So embrace the elation and enjoy it 💗
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