Should we go ahead or postpone? fil very ill.

Where to start, my heart breaks for you both having to deal with such a devastatingly sad situation at what should be a joyous time and ultimately a decision that probably wont be right either way. Could you maybe go ahead but tweak times so you can visit him in your outfits to make him part of the day still? Or you could get married as planned, if he is able to be there, and then push the reception out a few months if your venue would allow?

My cousin had a similar situation and in the end they went ahead and visited him and then had a video link so he could still be part of the day, so that could be an option, there are a few live stream wedding sites that are free so may be worth as look.

The main thing is to let her make the decision as her feelings and emotions will be all over the place right now and she simply may not feel she can do it without him and want to concentrate on spending quality time with him. I lost my father at a young age and it breaks my heart he wont be at my wedding, so she also needs to weigh up (as hard as this will be) how she would feel if you wait and the emotions of him not being there.

I will be thinking of you, there is no right or wrong decision, you just both need to be comfortable in whatever you decide and that it is right for you, no one else's opinion matters in this situation. wishing you both all the love and best wishes X X

First of all, sending lots of sympathy to you both and to your family - such a sad situation to be facing for you all.

You mentioned what the family want, but what does your future FIL want? I'd be surprised if he didn't want the wedding to go ahead, especially if there is any chance he could be there for it, even if just by video link. In every situation like this that I've known (and I've come across several, including our own wedding) the person concerned has been very keen that the wedding should go ahead as planned.

If FIL wants it to happen, then go ahead. If he doesn't, that is much harder - for your fiancee's peace of mind, I think you may need to look at postponing, because getting married when she knows her father wanted it postponed is going to cause a lot of long-term pain to work through.

As for people being sad - if he's not able to be there, then it's going to be tough whenever you get married. My father died 7 years before our wedding day and I still missed him terribly on the day, and one of my friends lost her mum over 20 years before she got married and felt the same. No amount of time passing makes it ok that someone you love can't be at your wedding.

If you decide to go ahead and he is too sick to attend, then look at a video link for him to watch or maybe visiting the hospice/home in your wedding outfits if you are near enough. Incorporating something belonging to your FIL in the wedding might also help your fiancee feel more connected to him - e.g. adding a small item to the bouquet. I got a charm with my father's writing on it attached to my bouquet, and I've known other people who have done this for parents who can't be at the wedding due to Covid (e.g. they live abroad and couldn't travel)