Strippers on a stag??

I don't see an issue with strippers myself but i know lots of people do, so if you're both not confortable with it then just make it clear to the best man etc.

i don't want one on my hen, but i can see the appeal of men wanting a lap dance on their stag! but thats mainly as a half naked lady often looks better than some pumped up greased up male stripper in my opinion!

My OH rarely goes in strip clubs unless it's someone's birthday or stag do. However I'm not slightly bothered if he does. I don't like him getting private dances and luckily he's really not bothered about them either.

BUT I can almost 100% say that his mates will buy him private dances on his stag weekends and on those occasions, again, I really couldn't care less.

If your OH does have a stripper on his stag do - I very much doubt it would be him paying for it? So the money thing shouldn't really be an issue?

I am with you 100%, i hate the idea of my oh having a atripper, luckily he's not really into all that but i know a few of his friends are. have told the best man if i find out theyve been the wedding is off! you are not being unfair and he should respect your feelings towards it.

Strippers is always an interesting topic here on hitched so I'm sure you will get a lot of mixed views and opinions.

I will start by saying that I have the same opinion as you. Luckily my OH isn't fussed on going in one at all and don't think his mates will force him to either. He always used to laugh about it when I brought it up though to try and wind me up so I knocked it on the head by asking him how he would feel if I had some hot guy dancing round me flopping his thing in my face. Needless to say he said he wouldn't be happy about it and has since seen my point of view.

To be honest I wouldn't be bothered about him going in one on another stag do with but it being his I think he will be the one to get stitched up and forced into the private dances which is mainly why I'm against it.

I would tell him how you feel, be honest.

Personally, it honestly doesn't bother me. I know he's done it before on other people's stags, football trips etc. The fact that they all went to a strip club on his brother's stag (even the oldies!) made it into the best man's speech, so they certainly don't even try and keep it quiet!

I'd far rather he had a bit of harmless fun in a strip club than pull a girl in a nightclub.

Having said that, I know a lot of people do have issues with it, but it's very hard to tell your OH not to do it. In addition, even if he agrees not to do it, things could be very different when he has 10 drunk blokes egging him on!

My OH has just come back from his stag weekend in Prague. I knew he was going to go to lap dancing clubs (try and tell 7 hot blooded males that my OH is banned!) I kinda let him get on with it. I trust him and he told me all about it when he came back. He said didn't have a private dance or thrust money into pole dancers knickers as he was using it as valuable drinking money! If he did it's his money he's wasting anyway.

ETA: After reading some of the others comments my OH was soooo drunk (80% shots and absinthe that they poured down his neck!) that he couldn't remember really going into the place! I don't think you would have anything to worry about. I found out my brother used his daily allowance on private dances in the space of an hour and my OH though it was comical that he wasted all his money!!!

I'd have a massive issue in fact not keen on the whole stag and hen thing at all, I know someone who on their stag do did a whole lot more that just see a stripper. Lucily my oh is in agreement so just to keep everyone happy we're going to go out him with the boys me with the girls and meet up after a couple of three hours.

I'm not fussed about OH going to a strip club. To be honest, I'd love to see them all there, it'd be hilarious! But I would not really be happy about a private dance in a separate room. Or the girl being completely naked, Boobs is fine in his face, other parts are not!!!

I personally wont mind it my OH isnt really into it but i know a lot of his mates are so they will prob be going to a lapdancing club he will look and join in the fun no doubt but thats as far as it goes there is a no touch policy and tbh half the girls out on a sat night (in Bath anyway) dont wear much more than ann summers dress up, i have a feeling my cbm and moh have booked me a butler in the buff i will enjoy and accept my drinks and join in if your really not happy about it and oh doesnt want to then like the others have said have a word with whoever is organising it x

I'm not a fan of having strippers but, well it's their stag do.. I personally would rather not know (ignorance is bliss) and private dances & all that XXX rated stuff is a def no-no and h2b is in agreement. I'm not really interested in a stripper at my hen, pretty much because i don't usually find that type of guy attractive lol!

If he respects you, and his mates respect him, then there should be no smuttiness, strippers or anything else

Pinky, that is exactly how I feel and I have said exactly that to him - how would he feel if it was the other way round? He agrees that he wouldn't be happy about that.

I also accept that he may 'have' to go sometimes on friends do's but I don't want him doing it when he is going to be plied with drink and bought private dances. For what it's worth, I totally trust him. I just don't want another woman, naked, dancing in front of my fiancee.

Personally, I wouldn't want a stripper. My best man made the comment "we're all a bit too old for that now?".

Having been to a few stag nights, and also been out on the town during a few Hen nights, the actual best ones are when its a wind-up; ie the Cheesy Tazan'o Gram (or equiv for the Groom), rather than some buff guy.

If the aim is to embarrass, there are easier ways to do it without spending much money of offending partners.

Agreed Jason!

And I don't want it to be a case of 'oh let him go to a strip club or he might pull some girl in a nightclub' - actually he shouldn't be doing either!!

I'd have no problem with my OH seeing a stripper, unless that stripper was one of my friends. (yep, I have a few friends who are strippers)

It's just a bit of harmless fun, and it's me he comes home to at the end of the night, so he can do what he wants when he's out (except cheat, oviously)

WSS - doesnt bother me personally but if your not comfortable with it then make it clear to the stag, not sure that would stop them though......

This made me laugh, OH is out for a birthday all the time - that's a lot of strippers if he went everytime, we'd be skint! ?

Re: OP (Not read all replies, got distracted by this one) but I'd say if your bothered then it's something you need to communicate and you need to decide how bothered you are before you communicate it. Eg: Is it a deal breaker in your relationship (Ie: will you not marry him if he does), or are you going to be upset and unable to forget (also happened on here IIRC) or will he be in the dog house for a week. If it's either of the first two then you need to sit him down and make sure he understands.

My personal view is that I don't care, or not that I don't care but I can turn a blind eye. The way I think of it is that I catch mr LMs eye wearing full on fluffy PJs while those women have to get it all off for him to give them a second glance, which I think says alot about us v's them (so I don't feel threatened). Mr LM also knows where his loyalties lie, and while he's always up for a laugh with the lads, knows what is / isn't acceptable etc and I trust him with that.

We are kind of in reverse when it comes to an opinion on strippers. I don't mind if my OH has stippers on his stag but he feels really strongly that he would not do it to me, and thinks it would be really offensive towards me if he did. I therefore will make sure i don't have stippers at my hen to respect his values - glad really as it gets me out of the embarrasement.

Ahhh greenbean your oh sounds very nice!

Mine says he's never seen one and never wants to bless!

I think its such a non issue in my relationship I wouldn't even bother bringing it up and asking him.

I am 99% certain it won't happen, and if it does nothing untoward will happen.

oh yeah and it wouldn'tbe him to blame it would be his best man, his brother who is married and definatley wouldn't get away with it. SO no.

My OH has never been to a strip club. He has been to a lap dancing club (TBH, a whole gang of us have been in the one in our local town several times and all of the dances go on behind closed curtains) but he's never had a private dance.

He's on his stag do right now, well, on route to it. And like Kharv, I can pretty much guarantee that he'll be bought a dance at some point over the weekend. I know they have free entry to Spearmint Rhinos as part of their package. I'm definately not comfortable or happy with some t*rt (no offence to any lapdancers/strippers out there) writhing around and grinding up against my OH. The thought of it turns my stomach a little BUT, it's the one time in his life he'll do it. With his mates, there's no getting out of it and if that's the worst thing that happens to him this weekend then it'll be a success. I'm much more concerned about him getting home in one piece. His best man & ushers got picked up from our house after OH left this evening and I asked his BM to make sure he comes home with all his limbs & hair and eyebrows. BM's response? ... "I can't guarantee it" - And this is his twin brother!!

I have to admit im not 100% on the idea but i know my hubby had a private dance as it was my brother who paid for it ? but at the end of the day they cant touch so its harmless really, i knew best man and my brother would make him do it and to be honest all of the lads who went (17 of them) all had a lap dance so really its just a boys will be boys situation really.. its just harmless fun! My oh told me straight away he had one and i wasnt to bothered as i no he would never cheat on me and like someone said before he had so much alcohol in him he dosent have much memory of the night anyway!

We've spoken about this and my OH says he would feel really uncomfortable. Most of his mates are pretty sensible and with the type of stag he is talking about (hiring a boat on the Norfolk Broads), I'm hoping hiring a stripper will be difficult to do! I've said I'm fine with him having one as long as there are no private dances and no touching. In reality I would hate him to have one (there's only one girl he should see half naked and that's me!) but I trust him and as I know he wouldn't buy one for himself I guess there isn't much I can do about it really.

Seriously??? I really dont understand some peoples thinking. If you trust your OH then there really shouldnt be an issue. Im sorry but it just smacks of insecurity.

TBH really honest I couldn't give a t0ss if my OH see's a stripper or has a private dance on his stag...at the end of the day he comes home to our bed and its me he loves. He's looking but not touching, I know he looks at girls on the street, same as I look at men when I'm walking down the street. I see that there is very little difference (except the lack of t) and we have complete trust and openness in our relationship.

I may have misunderstood this so apologies if that's the case but I think there is a difference between glancing at a girl in the street and having one writhing around on top of him! I'm sure most girls wouldn't be thrilled if they were in a club with their OH & a random girl was stroking his hair or rubbing herself up & down his thighs. I reckon most girls would have something to say if they saw that. Just because it's paid for doesn't mean I have to be happy about it or comfortable with it.

Having said that, I'm certainly not about to tell my OH that he's not allowed a lap dance and I'm certainly not worried that he's going to fall in love with a lap dancer and run off with her. I know he'll be coming back to me tomorrow and that's all that matters.

My OH knows I don't want him to have a stripper or go to a strip club or whatever. Mainly because I was head waitress at a yacht club and we did a function for a stag do, started out all nice, lads having a meal, few drinks etc, then out came the strippers. If you think all they do is dance and grind a bit then you are soooooo wrong! The stuff they were doing was disgusting. So nasty infact, that more then half of the lads got up and walked out. Not saying all strippers are like it, but if my OH's best man arranges anything like that, I will kill him.

I agree with this. If I was in town with OH and some naked girl started dancing over him and rubbing her boobs in his face I think I would have something to say about it so don't really see why a strip club is different.

OP- I hope you can get this sorted with minimum fuss xx

I don't have a problem with it at all. It's just a bit of fun, it's not as if it's cheating. I trust my h2b 100% and he trusts me 100%, i'm not going to start dictating to him what he can/can't do on his stag do or when he goes out.

I agree.

I don't want mine to have a stripper either and he knows this.

I have heard about some of these clubs and trust me they are not all bound to their so called rules, an ex colleague got a BJ in one of them for extra and the strippers rub their bits over their noses and sit on their laps and rub themselves against the mens bits and if independent stripper then they quite often strip the men to their underwear and then do the above. Why are we so happy for this to happen purely cos we are getting married, i know i am not. If this happened in a nightclub it would be classed as cheating.

Would our men be happy with another guy shoving his hard on in our face and gyrating it against us, i know mine wouldnt.

And men would most likely be very turned on by this, if man wanted to get his rock offs with someone else, why get married?

Vikster thanks for your input but let me assure you that I do trust my fiance and am not insecure about our relationship. I don't think it makes me untrusting or insecure to not like the idea of an almost/totally naked stranger grinding in front of somebody who is about to take life long vows of fidelity to me. I don't want to see another man naked and pushing himself in my face either. It is not that I think he is going to cheat but that I think it shows a basic level of respect to one another to keep certain things within your relationship.

Horses for course and all that though...

Thanks all, lots of interesting replies.