Table plans - etiquette?!

Lot more thought has went into your table planning than mine haha, small wedding for us so U shaped table but we were just putting people where we thought best and if they got on well. Didn't bother mixing it up as when I attend weddings I like to be sitting with people I know as I'm quite shy so wouldn't want the same for guests coming to mine and know some are quite shy. If we were having bigger and more tables I wouldn't bother with boy girl seating and not bother with the mixing either, i'd just sit people with whoever they get on with and if theres a couple they don't know, at least they won't be arguing or anything lol. Just whatever works best for you and them. And I doubt your cousins will be wondering about being closer to the top table, impossible to keep everyone happy so just do whatevers convenient and least stressful, no use worrying over it

I went for what made sense with me, worked practically and tried to accommodate people by sitting them next to people they get on with. Failing that they got a seat! I have refused to show anyone apart from my OH the table plan as I know someone is bound to moan and I just think if people cannot put their personal feelings aside for a couple of hours and be polite to other people then they should stay at home!

I think we're quite lucky really - we're only having about 28 of us for the sit down meal and all the families get on really well. Mine are all in couples so I'm planning on a couple from my side, then a couple from OHs side etc. I wouldn't worry too much about boy - girl - boy, it doesn't always work depending on who's invited.

I would try and mix families where I could but also make sure people sit with some people they know. I remember going to a 90th birthday party not long after I met my OH and most people were sat in couples. Everyone seemed to know each other except for me - I only knew OHs closest family. Me and OH were placed at opposite ends of a rectangular table with about 10 people down each side and I didn't know another soul. I felt so lonely during that meal as well as a bit annoyed to be split up from my new bloke! ?

I think that your bit about mixing grooms side and brides side rather than mother of the groom and father of the grooms sides on the tables makes absolute sense. Mixing cousins with your friends sounds fine to me as well, I wouldn't be offended at all if I were a cousin, but then to be fair I am probably quite laid back compared to some people!

I've been to two of my cousins' weddings in the last couple of years, and have been separated from my parents and sat with the couple's friends both times. I can chat to my mum and dad whenever I like, so it's nice to meet new people!

At our own wedding we put our cousins in amongst our friends. We always made sure they were with their partner or at least one sibling though (they didn't all have partners), so they knew at least one person near them.

I say keep people together who know each other well.

What we need here is Mr Guy Wade! He would know what to do for the best I am sure.

I have kept friendship and family groups together. My theory is that they will all be instantly at ease, will get into the spirit faster, and will probably have a better time than making small talk with people they know less well. That's only my view though.

With my plans done it as a bit of a mix. got round tables. we have said no children except for obvious reasons, page boy who is OH son, and my cousins children as her youngest daughter is my little bridesmaid. and the best man daughter. rest of children be coming to evening.

top table = OH's mum and dad, little page boy, best man, groom, me, bridesmaid, little bridesmaid, my mum and dad = 10

table1 = my brothers are sat with OH brothers and sister and her husband. as immediate family. my uncle and his fiancee on same table as he is driving me and my dad to the wedding. = 8.

table 2 = two of my aunties with their husbands. OH auntie with her husband and OH uncle with his wife. = 8.

table 3 = my cousin with her husband and two children. = 4 plus best man's wife and daughter = 6 plus my auntie (my cousin's mum) and her partner =8.

table 4 = my friends who i work with (only named table got lol) = 5

table 5 = OH parents' close friend with his wife and yougest daughter (though she is 17) = 3 plus OH auntie and her husband plus their son (adult) = 6

done it as mixed as i can as me and OH said it is two families coming together (me and him) and for the sake of one meal they can all do it. afterwards at the evening party they dont have to talk to one another if dont want. also i had to put my two aunties together as i know if didnt put them together they will sit together anyways and i know they wont like it that my uncle is sat with my brothers. but its mine and OH day so it's tough luck really. for the sake of like an hour or two they will have to deal with it.

We had a round top table, then the rest of the seating was a free for all, but it was a very informal reception. In your case, have you thought about allocating tables, then letting people at that table sort themselves out as to where they sit? I think that's a nice compromise, and it's what I'd do if I were doing it again slightly more formally. Years ago at my first wedding I had a similar logic puzzle table plan to you, with aunties and sides of families that wouldn't speak to each other, and it took ages. Had I just allocated tables rather than fret about boy-girl etc, it would have saved at least some of the stress. I'm fairly sure my cousin did this at her wedding too, I remember being allocated a table, but not a seat, and it was no hassle at all as a guest.

We are mixing some of the family up so they can get to know each other but we have said that each person needs to know 2 other people on that table. I am splitting my step sister up from her dad but putting her with her boyfriend and grandparents so that they all have each other. The rest of the people on that table are OH's relatives who know each other, I think its his mum and step dad and 2 cousins (in their 30's)but their parents are not comingThe other family we are keeping together as the children are a bit younger (early 20s or younger) and they will not know anyone else very well so it makes sense to stay together.

Our parents are also divorced and re married so are on their own tables but I can not be bothering with them being in each others sight line or at the table next door. They are all adults and do not have to speak to each other or make eye contact unless they choose to.