The Perfect Wedding Dress

I didn't cry! I welled up a smidge at one point I think, but I didn't have that "owwwmaaagaaawd" moment that the movies make you expect!

It was actually a gradual process for me. I maybe tried on eight dresses, but I whittled it down to three similar dresses really fast, then tried on those three again and again considering all details of them until one gradually became the one I didn't want to take off. I also went with my dad, who was super helpful and lovely and made me feel really confident in my choice. I think I probably could have had a different experience if I went with my mum (she probably would have cried which probably would have made me cry) or my bridesmaids (probably more screaming with excitement), but I might have chosen differently as a result and feel more unsettled about it now. Right now, I look at pictures of my dress and I feel excited to wear it, but more so I feel calm about it because I feel like I know I picked the best dress for me because of how we approached deciding on it in such a methodical and considered way.

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That sounds like a really sound, reasoned approach. I kind of did a lot of research beforehand, because I knew I didn't want the traditional look so even in a more "alternative" shop, I wasn't likely to find much to try on...

I think going with your dad sounds like the best idea ever! Dads are so reasonable and practical with stuff like that, especially when it comes to their daughters My dad drove me there and back (he wanted to be involved) but didn't feel like he could come in, so my mum came in. In hindsight, he would have been a great person to bring. Wish I'd thought of it!

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Honestly my dad has picked out so many of my favourite clothes! I think it's possibly because he's not into "fashion" and isn't thinking about whether he'd wear it himself like other women often do, so he really focusses on whether it's flattering and feels like me which is ideal. We go shopping together a lot, and there's almost always that slightly awkward 5mins where the sales person is clearly having a bit of a "seriously, you brought your dad?" moment but then they see him in action and it makes so much sense haha!

So happy for you that you found your perfect dress! It's great that you did so much research and knew what you were after too

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Your dad sounds like an absolute legend!

Honestly, my dad is amazing but I think he'd be uncomfortable picking clothes with me. He would definitely come along, but I don't know if he'd be too happy about it lol.

Thank you! I was seriously worried, and though I love what I've chosen I'm still a little worried that the colour won't be right (I'm still waiting on the designer to send a few swatches) - but I know it's out of my control now, and I just have to trust that the designer and store know my date and will do everything they can.

He is good haha!

That's so helpful that you're getting swatches though, it's not like they'll have dyed it and the finished thing is the first you'll see of it. Hopefully you'll get the swatches through soon and it'll feel really exciting! I kinda wish I'd asked about swatches, even though I've ordered the dress in the colour I tried on - it'd be helpful to have them for pairing shoes and checking bridesmaids dresses go with it...

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Oh, I've ordered swatches for SO MANY things - maybe I should make a whole patchwork blanket with them after lol.

I'm a little concerned that she hasn't sent the swatches yet, because I think they'll take a fortnight to get here, and that obviously delays the lead time until they do. I emailed her yesterday to chase them, but she hasn't gotten back to me yet... In the mean time I messed around on Lightroom and tried to edit the colour onto the skirt and bodysuit I ordered (I've attached the image), and I'm REALLY happy with how it looks.

I also sent the designer these pics so she has a bit more of an idea to work with, so hopefully she gets back to me soon!

Maybe you could contact the shop and ask for swatches? I had to pay a small amount to get mine, but I think it's worth it for colour matching purposes - very handy to have!

I didn’t cry. I knew for years that I wanted a tea length dress so i only went to one shop that specialized in short dresses. I tried on about 6-8 I think. I took my mum, my sister and my two daughters who are 11 and 14. They all had a great time. My dress is due in the shop any day now and I’m so excited as the one I tried on was too small and the pearl necklace detail on the back was missing so I have not really seen it in all it’s glory! Maybe when I have the belt, the shoes and the petticoat and it actually fits, then I might cry!
It’s hard to visualise otherwise!

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I think we've all be conditioned to think we'll cry, and most of us don't, from the sounds of it!

It sounds like you had a wonderful time, and I hope when it arrives it's everything you want and more! I totally agree about it being hard to visualise - it's a shame more bridal shops don't stock a wider variety of sizes, though I can see why it would be expensive for them to do so.

Fingers crossed it turns up soon!

Love this will this be the colour you are having x💗

I felt very comfortable and happy and 'me' in my dress, but I didn't cry or squeal or dance around or do any of the things you're 'supposed' to do. But that might be because personally, I find the emphasis on the dress way OTT. I keep reading things like 'you should choose your dress with as much care as you chose your fiance' and I'm like really?!!! I mean, I know it's a big day and you're going to be looked at and photographed a lot, but at the end of the day, its an item of clothing you wear for one day, and your fiance is a human being you are hopefully going to be with for the rest of your life...

I wanted a dress that I felt comfortable and confident in and that I thought suited me. And one that wasn't too expensive and hopefully could be dyed or otherwise altered to be used for something else afterwards. Found something that ticked all those boxes and 'job done'.

View quoted message Yeah, hopefully, just waiting on the swatches 🤞 The one I tried on was a sort of olive green colour that was called antique gold, though - gorgeous, but not for me, and made it difficult to visualise!

View quoted message It's mad how much emphasis is out on it, when you really think about it. And how expensive they are.
I think it's important to go in with criteria and try to keep your head tbh.

View quoted message That is hard when you cant visualise what you want x is your hair natural red because it will really set your dress of xxx💗

View quoted message Yeah, but editing some images to get an idea really helped!


No, it's not natural red - it's dyed red (but not the colour in my profile pic), but more like a slightly darker Little Mermaid, Ariel colour 😅

View quoted message Will you have this colour when you get married x💗

View quoted message It will be red when I get married, yeah. I went a more natural-looking auburn for a while last year, but after having red hair for 18 years, it didn't feel like "me", and I wanted to feel like myself on my wedding day.

View quoted message I think it will look amazing if you have the green my hair is natural red but im having white my daughter is also natural red she is my bridesmaid she will be in emerald green xx Cant wait to see the finished dress will look amazingggggg x💗

View quoted message I hope it will! 🤞

I am very jealous of your natural red, it will look gorgeous with white AND with green on your daughter 😍

View quoted message Thanks xx💗

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Oh my gosh this is GORGEOUS! Will look amazing with your red hair too!

I'd definitely keep sending polite pesters for the swatches haha, you can even acknowledge it like "I'm so sorry to keep pestering, I'm sure you must have so many brides who are just as anxious to make sure everything's ready for their day - I'd just really appreciate knowing when they'll arrive so I know my dress will be ready in time."

You're definitely making me think it's a good idea to ask for swatches! I'd hate to buy shoes etc. and suddenly discover I clash! My dress is ivory with a kind of rose gold looking underskirt so it's not exactly the classic white white...

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This is so true - maybe the crying moment will be when it actually fits and the day is so close!

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Thank you
I think I'm going to have to chase her today, because she's been SUPER fast with replies every time, except for one time she forgot to reply and then came back a week later with a thousand apologies (she's a really nice lady, so I don't think she'll mind too much if I chase).

I highly recommend getting swatches if your dress is non-traditional in any way, cos you just never know what isn't going to match. I'd even say get a swatch of the ivory AND the rose gold if you can, then you've got everything covered!

View quoted message Exactly this! I didn't cry either, I just wanted it ticked off. I don't understand why its such a big deal either. Yes it'll be in all of the photos, but I'm wearing it for one day!

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Your description of getting it ticked off was pretty much my main motivation for finally sorting out the whole dress thing lol...

Lots of brides have different vibes when finding the one—some sob, some just feel calm certainty! I know a friend who tried 12 dresses and didn’t cry, but she knew instantly it was right when she stopped comparing. Your low-key joy is totally valid; the dress’s unique style and custom color make it yours, that’s the real win!