This could end in tears - bridesmaid dresses

I don't think you are being unreasonable, it is your day, however, you do need to consider how she will feel. It is a really hard one as you obviously want her as part of the day but it is your day so you want what you want. Can you maybe get her to send you some ideas of the style she wants, but keep your colour scheme? The colour, to me, is the more important factor, and you never know the style may look good, you need to try them and see. You could then compromise in having something less fitted but maybe say without the sleeves, you could always get her a wrap if she is that conscious about it. I would also say to really think about it, as although it is your vision you need to think about how the tighter dress will look on the day, as this will be in your photos forever. without sounding rude, if they are larger the look may not be what you envisioned, I think you need to get them to try on the style you want and go from there, I have changed my mind completely as once my BMs had the original dress style I liked on it made one of them look dumpy and was not flattering, so we have changed to something else. If you really cant agree then you may have to have the chat to ask her if she wants to step down, as really you don't want her to feel that way, but you shouldn't have to compromise too much. If you really cant agree then you may have to have the chat to ask her if she wants to step down, as really you don't want her to feel that way, but you shouldn't have to compromise too much

I dont think i can say anymore but Charlotte said it all being a bigger size my self certain dresses will look okay but it has to be somethin that they are both comfotable in i dont like showing of how big i am but my friend who is bigger flaunts what she has its hard x💗

I echo much of what Charlotte said - is there a compromise you can come to? The colour is generally the most important, and until you see them try them on you won’t know what style really suits your BMs. I’m sure you don’t want them to feel uncomfortable or unhappy on the day, so your best bet is to work with both BMs to find something they feel good in that you also like. It is true that clingy, satiny silk is not forgiving on lumps and bumps, so I have sympathy with her hesitance around your preference. However, raw silk or chiffon silk is much more flattering (and comfortable) and while it doesn’t have the sheen of shiny silk it’s still extremely beautiful (I think it looks richer and more luxurious, but that’s my personal taste!) - could you look at those materials instead?


I know it’s hard when you have a clear vision, but if doesn’t suit your BMs and/or they don’t feel comfortable it’s not going to look good in photos, which I’m sure you wouldn’t want either. I would definitely do a girly day out where you all agree to see many different styles on - your BM might be surprised that you style you want actually does look good on her, or vice versa. I wouldn’t write off any options until you’ve really seen them on, things look so different in photos and on models than they do on other people in real life

For my bridesmaids I have chosen a colour from a particular online shop and have said they can pick the design as long as the colour matches. Means I have matching colours but everyone is in a style of dress (or jumpsuit) they feel comfortable in. Could this work for you maybe?


I think if you are being accommodating then they do need to meet you half way!

Have they actually tried on the kind of dresses you like? Because fitted dresses in bright colours and shiny materials make people look bigger, so you may find that they look awful in your preferred styles. Your bridesmaid is quite right that softer darker fabrics are more flattering.

I would suggest shopping together if you can, so that you can see what looks best on them. It may not end up being exactly what you wanted, but if they're uncomfortable in what they are wearing, it's going to show.

I think tbh a silky fabric that is figure hugging wont be very flattering on someone larger unless they are confident.
Maybe consider a fit and flare style?

It is your big day and obviously you want your bridesmaid to be in something that suits your vision but it may be that a little compromise is required as your bridesmaid will be quite visible on the day and I'm sure you will want your friend to feel comfortable about how she's dressed. It may be that she needs to try some things on that are out of her comfort zone though and hopefully she will be pleasantly surprised!