Thursday weddings anymore awkward than a Friday?

Well in all fairness the only people that *should* be there are the bride, the groom and witnesses for the ceremony haha

Hi, like others have said, look at your guest list and decide what's best for you!. For me a Thursday would be a definate no, most of my friends work mon-fri and I wouldn't dream of asking them to take 2 days leave for my wedding. Some definitely wouldn't be able to anyway as their on allocated leave too! That's why we're having our wedding on a Saturday at a less posh venue. It was more important to me to have my friends there than a posh venue. One big thing I've learned is to try and decide what's important to you? Is it the venue,Your dress, having certain people etc? We've only had 2 couples decline out of 150 guests. When I've been invited to mid week weddings, I've always had to not drink as much and have left a little earlier due to work the following day, getting time off just isn't always as simple as you hope!. Fridays are much easier as at least you don't have this issue of 2 days. As a guest, if the bride asked if thursday was a problem, I'd lie and say 'of course not' as I wouldn't want to upset her, weddings are stressful! Personally I'd go for the Thursday registry and Friday wedding, just think, you get a 48hr wedding! Yeah! But if you do go for the whole thing on a Thursday, please let your non teaching friends now ASAP to at least give them a fighting chance of attending :-)

I think Thursdays are fine. I may very well end up getting married on a Thursday. With plenty of notice, people can book off work, and if its during half term, lots of parents may have that off anyway for the kids. To be honest, in this day and age where we are expected to work all sorts of hours, a Saturday night could be inconvenient for someone anyway.

My OH went to a Thursday wedding couple months ago, and it was full and everyone stayed up late and had a great time. I just think plently of notice is key

FWIW we're getting married on a Wednesday and 180 miles away to boot. But it is in the Easter hols as we don't want kids taking out of school. They have exams coming up etc. We're only inviting immediate family and my bezzie friend. She'll be travelling from France. Our working people will be taking at least three days off work so I'm just delighted that they've all said they wouldn't miss it for the world but we would have totally understood if they had said they couldn't do it. It's a risk one takes no matter what day of the week you book your wedding for. Any day will be difficult for some. If they can't make it it doesn't mean your wedding isn't important to them, just that they can't make it. Giving early notice can help people book time off if they need to.

Our after wedding party is on a Saturday and local to where we live, but tis is in part to fit with my OHs shift pattern and therefore his immediate work colleagues. I wouldn't dream of holding this mid-week as I wouldn't expect evening guests to take more than a day off work if they feel the need to recover lol. Some will be working the next day as it is. Also some friends and family will still be travelling and some staying over as they live away from us too and so we expect, are banking on actually, some will say they can't make it. We will not be upset by this at all. The only people we expect to be at both are our offspring.

Basically - any wedding places demands on people for time and money - so as our guests we should appreciate it if some simply can't make it and not get angsty about it.

We originally didn't want a Saturday because of cost, but also because a lot of our friends work in leisure and retail. So Saturdays are a nightmare for them, lol.

We definately need to have a proper look at it, we've booked the venue already but I know they'd be happy to change it as it's so far away.

We did discuss last night that it might effect some of my more far away family coming down but these are the 'wouldn't invite if parents didn't really really want them there' guests. Lol. We all have those right?

Holey - that phrase really gets my goat too. I get sod all annual leave and what I do have, I have to save for days when my mum or MIL are away and can't look after the baby whilst I'm at work. Add to that the fact that I live in the middle of nowhere, meaning I'd have to take at least Wednesday afternoon and Friday morning off for travel.

Granted, I'd make more of an effort for a close friend or relative than perhaps a uni mate who I hadn't seen for a while, but it is disgraceful to say that I would be less of a friend if I couldn't make the wedding.

OP - like others have said, if it suits the majority of your guests, go for it.

Oh I wouldn't get angsty!

Would I be right in thinking you'd need 2 days off for a Friday wedding anyway?

Depends on your working pattern and location and timing of wedding. If you work Monday to Friday and the wedding is local and/or at a time to allow on the day travel then you'd only need one day off.

Didn't mean to cause any offence, but for us, we have done everything that we can to ensure that people can come despite it being on a Thursday. It's in school holidays, has a bank holiday at the beginning of the week, people have had over a years notice and we're not going for an early ceremony so that people can travel on the day. But when a venue is charging £2000 more to hold it on a Saturday, plus having a higher minimum number of guests, it's a no brainer that a Thursday wedding is best for us. I work shifts as a nurse, for me (and my friends), there is no difference in a Thursday or Saturday, you know your guests best, for us it works (and we've had no snide comments from anyone)

I certainly wouldn't ever make an issue of being invited to a Thursday wedding, it's the assumption that "a good friend would come regardless" that bothers me.

OP, have your wedding day when you want to have it.

If your friends don't come, well, you know.... they're not real friends and all that. Unless they send alcohol in their absense... then they're real friends.

Same here. People cannot control what their work allows. My brother is a teacher and their Head is so strict about absences that he might not be able to make my wedding. But he'll still be a good brother.

Ooooh you little stirrer...... oh..... no wait, hang on, pahahahahah! ?

I think the impact will be dependent on your friends and family: if most are teachers or retired then a holiday thursday is fine; if most will need to use their annual leave or may have inflexible work patterns then they may not be able to attend.

Any invitation is just that: an invitation, not a summons.

If people want to come of course they will try and make it, yes sometimes it's a pain to get the time off work but personally with a years notice to a wedding I would try my best to attend. There won't be chance to go to that many more weddings as most of my friends are married off so I'm making the most of it while I can!

Personally i think it's completely up to you!

However something we would have to consider is that my OH is self employed and doesn't get paid for any week days he takes off. This means that we don't take much time for holidays as we can't afford to loose too much pay. It means i have loads of annual leave left but he barely gets any time off!

any extra expenses attending the wedding etc could make it very expensive for us. I'm not saying we wouldn't go, but for people who have annual levae it doesn't always occur to them that not everyone has that privilidge. For example last year i had two close family bereavements within a couple of weeks, and my OHs boss got very funny with him for wanting to take two days off in four weeks for funerals. He was able to come in the end, but i was fully understanding that there was a chance he would of missed them - it doesn't mean he doesn't love me or my family but unfortunately him being paid does matter to us!

As others have said, you know your guests, and if its not asking a lot go for it, but don't think any less of people who CAN'T attend for work reasons.

We have booked a Thursday during a school term, some people have said that this means they will have to find a babysitter but as we don't have many guests with kids this hopefully won't be an issue. As for adult guests, as others have said, people will find a way to come if they really want to

? I completely give up!

Sorry I can't really see where you're coming from holey. If it's a close friend I've done everything I can to go to their wedding, even if it's inconvenient for me. There's usually a way round most things. I don't think anyone on here is saying if their friends had a genuine reason for not being able to attend (like being a teacher) then anyone one mind

The last weekday wedding I went to one person couldn't go. It annoys me that everyone seems to think Saturday weddings are fine for everyone, there's some of us that still work Saturdays!

Oh, Rolls eyes at the "they will come if they really want to". No, they may not be able to even if "they really want to"!! And by placing your wedding in the holidays and/or next to a bank holiday can make it even harder! At my work no leave is automatically allowed during any school holiday. Everyone fills a form in with the leave they would like and it then gets allocated on how many they can spare and who's turn it is to get leave during school holidays! Same with Bank Holidays, everyone wants them off so again its back to a form and allocated out fairly (Xmas is also on a rota☹️). What do you want your guests to do? give up their jobs for your wedding?

Very....very....patiently.....

If they cannot get time off work/are in hospital/live a great distance away/have children they can't take out of school.....

NO MATTER HOW HARD THEY TRY, THEY WILL NOT BE ABLE TO COME! This does not make them a lesser friend or a bad person. This does not mean they don't wish they could be there. This does not relate solely to weekday weddings but to ANY wedding.

No day is a good day for every guest, no matter how 'close' a friend they are.

But that is what people are saying when they say things like 'if they were a true friend they'd come' or 'if they can't make the effort to come then maybe we don't want them there'

I would hate for a 'true friend' of mine to think I didn't care enough to attend their wedding when In fact my job may be preventing me from going. I have the type of job where I can't just take any days off I like. Therefore my reason for non-attendance wouldn't be 'because I didn't care' but in fact because I genuinely couldn't go.

At the end of the day, whatever day a wedding is held on it is possible that not everyone will be able to attend, people work and have plans all different days/hours. I know that some people will not be able to attend our wedding and I'm not saying that makes them a bad person or that they don't want to come - but I also know that I personally have some people on the invitation list who will deliberately make a fuss of the day/date even if it won't cause them an personal issue! People like drama and so you need to go with what suits you as a couple - as long as the B&G are there that is what is really important!

This has been the case for me too. In the last few years I have had at least two mid week weddings to attend each year. Although I have been able to attend all of the weddings I have often not been able to attend much of the evening reception because I have not been able to get a further day of work so I have had to travel back on the same day as the wedding. I am having to do this in a month or so and I am really disappointed not to be able to get drunk with two of my oldest friends just because I only get a poxy 20 days annual leave a year. However, I understand why the friend in question has chosen a Thursday wedding as most of her friends and family work in retail so for them a Saturday wedding would be more inconvenient.

For the mid week weddings where I have been able to attend the evening reception I have noticed that people do leave earlier and several of my friends who have had mid week weddings have said that guests didn't turn up to the evening reception because they didn't feel up to it on a work night. However, as I sais earlier, if it works for you and the majority of your guests I don't see as problem with a mid week wedding.

Haha oh dear this thread ruffled a few feathers didn't it?! If my friends simply couldn't get the time off due to strict bosses and say teachers who simply can't take time other than school holidays than fair enough but if a good friend or close family member was allowed holiday then I don't think it's too much to ask of them to use 1 or 2 days of their holiday for your wedding? I adore going to people's weddings and wouldn't think twice about booking holiday for a good friend or family. My OH works in retail so weekends are rubbish for him But we always book the time off and stay in hotels for our friends weddings as it's a nice couple of days away for us too! There's always going to be days when people can't come and I totally except and expect that and as our wedding will be August I know people will have holidays booked too. But we're giving people over a year's notice and no-one has complained or been catty about our date yet. People are just happy and excited for our wedding.

Gosh, this thread became a little bit argumentative! We are getting married on a Wednesday in the summer holidays, it's not perfect, but most of our friends are either in teaching or medicine. Teachers are not an issue, its the summer holidays - but those who have booked a holiday, we don't bear any grudges! Medicine people are happier to have a weekday as they can get the time off more easily than a weekend - same with those friends in retail and other service areas.

There is never going to be a perfect day for everyone: my friend is getting married on Sat 14th June. Sounds perfect. Except we can't go because she lives in the USA and we would have to take 2 days off work to attend. I teach, I can't take those days off. But, it does mean we can discuss all the little details I will miss out on, and she completely understands WHY I can't make it.

I agree with others, the 'If they care, they will make it whatever' is not a particularly nice way to think of people. There are reasons why people can't attend, and these are perfectly acceptable.

In all honesty to OP initial question: there is nothing at all wrong with a Thursday wedding. A lot of our friends are really excited about a mid-week wedding as it means they have a legitimate reason to take a half week off, and are using it as a mini-break! Whatever your day, the only thing that really matters, is that YOU are happy with it!

My wedding is on a Thursday and it cut the cost looooooooadssss since loads of places still count fridays as part of the weekend and therefore peak time!! I am lucky in that my wedding is in August so cousins will be off school as will my dad who is a teacher!