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J
West London

Too chubby to be my friend's bridesmaid?

Jenny, 30 of January of 2024 at 18:12 Posted on Planning 0 11

Hello,

I am going through something ahead of my friend's wedding next year. I haven't spoken out about it but I've seen a courtroom show online which has touched on the issue.. so I now want to share that my friend has asked me to slim down for her wedding if I want to be a bridesmaid. I just wanted to know if anyone else has experienced this or what advice you would give?



11 replies

Latest activity by Kate, 10 of February of 2024 at 14:39
  • R
    VIP July 2020 Monmouthshire
    RomanticGreenStationery27135 ·
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    Your post has an error in it. You refer to a 'friend' telling you that you need to lose weight in order to be her bridesmaid. A 'friend' would never do that.

    I suggest you find yourself some real friends, people who will love you for who you are and not judge you for how you look (or don't look). Decline the 'friend's' wedding invitation with thanks. You don't need someone that shallow and selfish in your life anyway.

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  • Ajx
    Dedicated April 2024 West Yorkshire
    Ajx ·
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    Absolutely everything that RGS said! What a truly awful person you'd have to be to say that. You deserve much better friends and i'd be fully declining her invite and moving on with my life x

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  • S
    Rockstar July 2024 Cumbria
    Shay ·
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    She is an awful person!!! IF you wanted to slim down that’s up to you, but not a friend telling you. If she cared she wouldn’t care that you were heavier? My bridesmaid is between a 24/26 and I would never! She is fabulous and gorgeous! I’m a size 10! I don’t want her to feel she is only good enough if she lost weight. I love her for her. On the other hand I bet if you did “slim down” she would be envious if you got slimmer than her! It’s all mucked up. Know your worth but if she wants you as a bridesmaid she takes you as is.
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  • Michelle
    VIP July 2024 Cheshire
    Michelle ·
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    Are you having a laugh this isent a friend to ask you to lose wait x If you wanted to lose weight because you actually want to then yes but not because she wants you too I would cancel the friend situation altogether x ♥️
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  • S
    Beginner March 2025 Lancashire
    Sarah ·
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    I wouldn't dare ask anyone to slim down to be a part of my bridal party! I've even told my bridesmaids they can pick their own style of dress aslong as they feel comfortable it just has to be the colour I choose. I think your "friend" is far from deserving to be called that. Sending you lots of support x
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  • Katrina
    Savvy February 2025 West Midlands
    Katrina ·
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    Your friend should accept you for who you are nothing to with your outward appearance. I don't think she is a true friend asking you to slim down or else you can't be a bridesmaid. Does not sound right to me.
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  • Leah
    Curious April 2024 Kent
    Leah ·
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    Firstly, I'm so sorry you've had to experience something like this. I can't imagine how it must have made you feel!
    I completely agree that this is really an awful thing for someone to say to you and a terrible position to put you in. I would decline and explain that you will not be doing so... hopefully she can find her morals along the way too...

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  • Cazpot88
    Curious August 2025 Greater Manchester
    Cazpot88 ·
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    My advice hun, wish her well with her wedding, and then cut her out of your life


    A real friend would never ask you to do that, but she's toxic. And you're much better off without her x
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  • Jess
    Curious October 2025 Durham
    Jess ·
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    Echo everything said above here! She’s not a real friend so my advice is to find better friends
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  • L
    Savvy June 2024 Staffordshire
    Leanne ·
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    Nah , that’s no friend . I hope you are ok , please do t put pressure on yourself for anyone no matter what . I’m actually disgusted .
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  • Kate
    Beginner April 2025 Hertfordshire
    Kate ·
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    I’m a plus-size bride & I have bridesmaids both skinny & my size. I would never dream of asking someone to change the way they look for me!


    Your ‘friend’ is not a true friend if they do. She should accept you for who you are. Maybe you could ask her to put on weight to match you 😉
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