Trying for Babies after wedding...

Trickers - it certainly doesn't sound like it ruined your life.! You sound happy and content to me.

My mom tells a simular story to AJs - she had a great life, her and dad spent weekends going to football games (which they loved) and drinking, partying and socialising. They had their house but had plenty of cash to spoil themselves with.. Then, I came along. My mom said she cried everyday for the first few years and eventually had to move back to be near her family as she couldnt cope with the changes it brought to her life.

My cousin however, has always just wanted to have a baby, since we were very very young it was all she wanted, and very sadly was told at 17 that she probably would never have a child. She was due to get married 31 July next year but cancelled because she is pregnant!!!! And due to give birth 4 Jan this year. It will be 100% the making of her and she willl relish every single moment. She feels like she was missing out by not having a baby.

I have to say, my niece keeps me awake all weekend with her crying, embaresses me when she cries in shops, stops us going to posh restaurants as a family, makes me feel bad for spending money on myself when I know her mom is struggling with money.. But, all of that, is so worth it, when she screams up the stairs she loves me!

That's very honest of you AJ, IMO being a parent is about learning to cope and making mistakes but fixing them quickly! I am sure when it came to it, as long as you give a baby lots of love and stability then you can't go far wrong.

My b2b is one of four so she's helped out with her younger siblings, but I was an only child (and I am sure some of you are thinking having had me they can understand why my parents didn't want any more) I've never had any dealings with small children.

It also doesn't help that because I work for a charity, my b2b earns about twice as much as I do, so it makes more sense for me to stay at home and bring up children than her giving up her job. I suppose as long as I can google everything I'll probably figure it out eventually but it's just such a daunting task and a huge responsibility.

I think that as long as by 6 months it can use Yahoo Messenger and Facebook, then I can start on the more advanced things like online gaming after the first birthday.

We get married July 2011 and I would like a have a child before Im 30 (will turn 27 a few weeks after our wedding) so we'll have a year or so to ourselves first, enjoying having a bit of financial freedom, a holiday, maybe couple of mini breaks and a few nights out with our mates...and some shopping for me of course! I want to make sure that we are both as ready as possible ie money etc....

I keep telling my fiance that when he starts to act like an adult in the house ie do housework without being nagged etc instead of acting like a child then we can think about it! A baby will be an awful lot of work and he needs to learn to help out more and be more responsible- i blame his mother for waiting on him hand & foot - he knows no better! This may sound harsh, I love him & cant wait to be his wife but Im a realist too - weve been living together for 15 months and he is very slowly adapting to domestic life!

I have a big smile after reading froggy's post! What a lovely story! So glad it turned out well. That's made my day :-)

What a nice thing to say about your husband, Trickers.

Whilst we're keen to have a family, quite how we'd actually juggle things at the moment is at the forefront of our minds. Mother/fatherhood must be incredibly daunting. I am always impressed at how people can juggle their children, their work and still being themselves rather than just X's mum/dad. I hope that we end up being good parents.

AJ - I have 4 "siblings" - one is my real brother, is now 21, step sister is 19, other step sister is 15, and step brother is 13. I'm 23 and so even when the baby was born I was too young, too dis-interested to look after them or get involved, and as my Mom and Dad are both babies of the family there was no other babies around during my teenage years for me to help with.

As a result the first I "saw" of a baby was when my brother brought home his current GF with a 1 year old and when I met OHs sister and 7 month old. That was 18 months ago. I am just about confortable enough with the littles ones now to not run away from them - the youngest is 2 next week. But before that, I was too scared to hold them and i've still not ever changed a nappy! haha. But i'd be lost without them now too - Sundays wouldn't be the same not having my niece pinch my yorkie pudding! haha.

We are likely to be in a simular situation re: Childcare too as our wage structure is simular to your own but for v.different reasons. And we will also be about 170 miles away from our families, which is terrifying TBH, as between us, we literally don't have a clue!

And yep - huge task, huge responsibility, and lots of risks to be taken but... They say Risk = Reward!

Haha - loving the online gaming mantra... See.... all will be fine!

Trickers - I am very glad it turned out that way for you! Your very lucky. And, I hope you are right and we know what to do when the time comes!

It does seem that way, I am such a wimp when it comes to people being sick and OHs (nearly 2 year old) nephew gets so car sick, at first i'd freak and run off when he did it to get his mom. But when mom wasn't around I realised I could cope, stripped him off, cleared him up and even managed to give the sick smelling baby a hug.. hehe.. progress slow but sure... lol.

OHs mom's advice on the Sick situation: Keep the old hoover. Bit of saw dust from the hamster cage, quick hover up and all is well enough for her to get the scrubbing brush out... EURGH!!

Trickers - I too would be a bad stay at home mom, it's not me! And I have so much respect both for those who stay at home all day everyday with young babies (I think it's a harder job than being at work!). I also respect those working moms who have that constant guilt struggle - choosing between a sales meeting or their daughters assembly for example.

I've always known I wanted a family, at least 2 kids. I was completely overwhelmed when my Sister gave me a Niece and God daughter all rolled into one 4 years ago. She's the centre of my world, she really is the best little bundle ever and hearing her say "I love you Auntie Nat" melts my heart. I'm around children everyday being a nanny and it still hasn't put me off wanting my own. Even caring for Triplets for 50 hours per week for 5 years hasn't put me off in the slightest. About 12 months ago we started the process of Fostering, but have since put it off, concentrating on the wedding before we progress any further. I think it'd be too much juggling everything at the moment but once married we'll start again, but possibly skip straight to adoption. It's a long process but something we're keen to do. So, maybe 3-4 years after the wedding we'll finally get our baby

BrideBrat, feel free not to answer as I'm just being nosey. Will you continue to nanny once you have your own kids? Subject to the usual life plans getting in the way!

Make sure you move closer to us in a few years time - we'll need a good nanny!

I'd like to yeah, that's the plan - I'd be the bread winner if I could be bothered to work more than part-time. as it is I bring home the same amount of wages as H2B who works flat out 5-7 days a week as a home carer to the elderly. We'd definitely feel the pinch if I didn't work so I'd either sort it with all my nanny families to take our little one with me or set up at home and have children come to me instead.

After my newest who weighed in at the eye watering size of 10 pounds 1 ounce (I can hear all the non Mummys wincing in pain lol) I said never again. Even though we had a fantastic home birth with just a snifter of gas and air. My OH was even booked in for the snip because I'd decided 3 is just enough. But now..... I dunno. I'm not ready to be done yet if that makes sense? So we might wait until after the wedding and give it one more go.

OMFG if I could tell myself a few years ago that I'd be thinking about baby number 4 I'd be giving myself a slap!

well we're gona have to be boring and sensible. I start my new job on monday now, but it involves going on a course which doesnt actually start to next june. After this I will gain my post graduate certificate so it will be after the course is done. Completing the course also involves a pay rise, so if the pay rise is in then, there will be more maternity pay! We would both love to have one now tho. But all in good time. My OH is hoping for a wee accident tho i think!!