Uninvited guests turning up 😰

Hi,
Is there a possibility he might be trying to wind you up by saying he’s coming as he knows he’ll get a reaction from you? I think he would be an a&*#hole of epic proportions if he were to come when you have expressly told him he’s not invited.
Personally, I wouldn’t bring it up with him again as this may feed into his behaviour. If you are concerned, and the stress of wondering if he will turn up will cause you stress on the day, then can you ask a couple of friends or family members to be on the look out for him and get him to leave on the day if he shows up? X

Wow, what an arse! U have done what u can for now just have certain guests (those on control duty - I have a few "peace keepers" at mine for particular family members 🙄) and maybe even the venue ready for if u say there is someone not invited. It is a private function not a free for all.

Where are you getting married? If it's a church, you won't be able to exclude him from the ceremony, since anyone has the right to attend. I think you can exclude people if you are getting married in a private building, such as a stately home. But you can certainly exclude him from any reception.

I suspect he may be insisting on turning up just to annoy you, especially since you say he loves creating drama. If he is, then the best solution is to ignore him - if he sees he's no longer getting a reaction, he'll probably stop. If anyone else mentions it to you, just say 'he hasn't been invited'. As a precaution, I would ensure that your reception venue is aware of the situation, so that he can be removed if he does gatecrash.

We had a couple who threatened to turn up to our wedding because they knew that would spoil it for us - I have no idea if they would have followed through with their threat, but by the time we got married, it was under strict Covid regulations, so you were allowed to bar non-invited guests from entering unless their purpose was to present a legal impediment to the marriage. At least there was one advantage to getting married in a pandemic!

View quoted message At first I thought yeah he is trying to wind me up, but then all week he was going to thr people who actually got invited and saying his plans, where he was staying so I'm guessing he got so deluded that in the back of his mind he was actually invited 😰 also a lot of guests came to me and asked me not to invite him as everyone knows how he is and he just wants to go and create drama as he constantly does at work, I will speak with my wedding planner about this and made him aware just in case he really turns up 😅😊 thank you for the advice

View quoted message Honestly I got shocked as I've never heard something smilar, even my friends couldn't believe what was happening 😅😅 I will speak with the wedding planner because if I envolve the family they might kill him 😅😅🤣 half of the family is portuguese and the other italian 🤣🤣mafia descendants 🤣🤣

View quoted message Luckily it is a private venue, both for ceremony and reception and you are absolutely right, I just should ignore it and hopefully he will stop, if not I will speak with the wedding planner and made him aware of my work colleague intentions 😊

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Even if he stops talking about it, I would still mention to your wedding planner that there is the potential for him to turn up.

The audacity of some people!!

I agree with others on how to prepare at your venue - make sure they are on the look out and hopefully if he does show they can quietly deal with it without you even realising it's happened.

I would also mention it to the other colleagues you have invited, if you don't want to mention you have an issue with him then I'd say something like: "I'm not sure if John is just joking with me, but he keeps mentioning taking Jane's place on my wedding guestlist because she can't go. John's actually not next on our list so Jane's decline spot has gone to someone else. I have told John that unfortunately he's not invited but because he keeps mentioning turning up it's all feeling a bit awkward so just wanted to make you aware that it's only these people from the office invited."

View quoted message Hi 😊
Thank you for the advice, I just mentioned to my work colleagues that pretty much everything is already organised, list is completed and all spots have been filled in, so to not mentioned anymore to me what the other guy intentions are as I cannot deal with deluded people who cannot accept reality, also wedding planner have been made aware and if he actually shows up they will deal with him 😊

I totally agree with you dont let this guy bother you. Now you have sorted all your planning an seating he will not get in the door lets hope your wedding planner keeps an eye out just in case but he is an idiot to keep saying stuff what a muppet xx💗

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Good luck - sounds like you've done everything you can! Now forget about him and enjoy your day!!

View quoted message Definitely he is 😅😅😅 thank you 😘

View quoted message Thank you chloe, cannot wait for the big day 🤩🤩🤩

Can you speak to the person who's unable to make it, and maybe ask her why she gave her invite to this person? Maybe if she takes it back from him he'll forget the details and not know when/where it is? Long shot, I know... but it's odd that he even has the invitation in the first place.

Oh my god, how rude! If you dont think he is joking then you need to call him out and the person who has supposedly given him your invite, which in itself is rude (if is true). Who on earth things that is ok to do but also, from his side, why would you accept an invite that way and not have actuially spoke to the bride or groom about it?!?

I would appraocah him and say something like:

I have heard you have been talking to others about coming to my wedding, which is kind of akward as A) I dont recall inviting you and B) the venue is named guest list only so i wouldnt want you to come all that way to be turned away as your names not on the list. I am flattered that youfeel we are close enough friends and you like me that much that you feel it is ok to just turn up uninvited but I really wouldn't want you to be embarresed in front of everyone. Sadly, after inviting our closest family and friends that we want to be with us to celebrate our special day we have no capacity to add anyone else, so wanted to give you a heads up before he wastes his time.

I guarentee if you say that he will feel silly but will also put it to bed

View quoted message We are not close friends at all, can't even stand him to be honest, he just wants to attend the wedding so he can gossip everything to everyone at my work place as I known him for years, he is constantly doing, at work nobody can't say anything around him as 5 minutes later everyone knows about it, I actually feel sorry for him because a person to be like that needs to have big mentally issues, so basically I invited this spanish work collegue and her niece, as a courtesy, and my RSPV date was 1st feb, after that date I went to the niece and asked if she was attending and she wouldn't give me a yes or no answer, so after getting fed up with these people I asked her aunt and she said no as the niece had to look after the daughter, fair enough, put them as no and planned the rest of the tables, then last week, my mate came to me and said that the guy in question was going with the niece ( she changed her mind and didn't consulted me) and the guy was taking the aunt's place since she couldn't make it, all of this behind my back, nobody bothered to consult me, my mate told the guy it doesn't work like that and he needs to speak with me, not just assuming he was invited, after I found out I went to the girl in question and said I'm sorry but you didn't gave me a clear answer and ur aunt said no, and she was like "oh I never told you no" and I didn't had a babysitter so basically changing her story in 5 minutes and I said sorry but now its too late as I've planned everything and I've already paid the venue, and to the other guy I said you are not invited, so do not keep someone else invitations as this is not concert tickets, but don't think he even listened to me, so one morning he was all upset with one of my mates saying why did he told me his plans as he ruined and my mate just answered you were never invited in the first place.... feels like I'm in the middle of coronation street 🤣🤣🤣

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Wow, you couldnt write it! Why do people think this shit is ok?! If I were you i would send Her an her an email (personal address not work) or letter, and state that you wanted to clarify that neither she or a plus one are accounted for as guests as neither she our the Aunt cofirn yes before cut off so her place is gone, explain you appreciate she didnt say no, but you had a deadline and any no definates were now no longer on the list and this has been finalised with the venue so unfortuatly she cannot attend, tell her the venue will be checking in guests by name as supplied by you so you dont want her to feel embarressed if she turns up as they will turn her and any companion away. For him email or letter and refer to your previous conversation where you made it clear he had not been invicted either as himself or as a plus one to another guest and that you had asked him to stop telling people he is attending your weddinfg when this is not the case. Re affirm that he is not not invited and therefore there never was a seat for him, as with her tell him is named gust list only. I would also say that his comments have caused you a great deal of upset and his behaviour is bullying and harrasing, and Iwould go so far as to say that as he has been doing this in the workplace it is making you so uncomfortable you are considering involving HR, which if i were you i would be doing anyway! I would hope that may be enough to shut him up, it is not a work issue but he is discssing in workplace and makes you feel uncomfortable so they will deal with it.

I have a friend whos 17 yr old daughter is invited and who we want to be there, when she RSVP she added Red Wine to her daughters choices, so I called her out and said red wine is an odd choice for a 17yr old, but also she is underage!?! she made out it was a mistake but had previously said is it to late to add my fella. She herself had selected white wine so I am certain she is going to turn up with her latest thing (4th boyfriend in a year) who obviously drinks red wine! I have never met her fella as she calls him, i dont even know his name, and have no desire to have at my wedding I have told her not to late, but I dont want him there as I have other people I actually know who i would rather have but I cant due to my number lmits. I have told her that manes will be checked at the venue, which in our case they actually will as it is a public castle, and they will only admit those on the list and no sobstitutes, so hopefully she has got the message. I also text the daughter to say we are so excited that she will be there on our special day!

View quoted message I hope you have the most amazing day and you dont let this guy spoil the rest of your planning Best wishes to you both x💗

View quoted message I really don't understand what's going through those people's mind, unbelievable 🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️ all I'm having is headaches and dramas with this wedding, I said to my fiancé my dream was always to have a lovely and big wedding but this is too much and I'm not getting any younger to deal with dramas, most of the time I regret not just doing something private, anyway I'm not even talking to them anymore and I'm done with their drama, and I feel your stress, why people are so inconsiderated and thinking its okay to just go to a private event without even consulting the bride and groom 🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️