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Lisa
Beginner June 2023 Lisboa

Walking down the aisle alone

Lisa, 18 of June of 2022 at 22:33 Posted on Planning 0 12
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Hi!
I’m getting married in June 2023. It’s a destination wedding with very few guests.
To cut straight to the point: I absolutely dislike the idea of my dad walking me down the aisle. For me it feels really conservative and ridiculous; that somebody (worse: my parents) “give me away”. I’ m 25, have always taken care of myself and I’m not that close to my parents emotionally. So it seems clear what I want right? But my dad got very sick for a few years (cancer) and after a long hard battle he survived. And when I mentioned to my sister last week that I will be walking down the aisle by myself, it made her tear up and ask me why I wouldn’t include my dad, as he would be so proud to do it, especially after everything.So.. now I’m kind of in doubt. I still really dislike the idea. Is it selfish of me if I do it the way I prefer it?
Thank you!

12 replies

Latest activity by Watergirl, 15 of July of 2022 at 20:18
  • A
    Dedicated July 2022 Co Londonderry
    Ali312 ·
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    No, I don't think it's selfish. Maybe there's another way you can get him involved?- he could give a speech or dance with you later,?
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  • R
    VIP July 2020 Monmouthshire
    RomanticGreenStationery27135 ·
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    If you don't feel comfortable with it, you shouldn't do it. I would think of another way to include him, perhaps by being a witness or doing a reading.

    Or, if you were comfortable with this, perhaps you could travel to the ceremony with your parents and have them go in first, so they get to see you and have a quiet moment with you before your wedding, but you still get to do the solo walk down the aisle?

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  • L
    Dedicated September 2023 Derbyshire
    Lizzie ·
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    I'm planning on going down the aisle on my own too. My dad isn't interested in coming to the wedding (which is frankly a great relief), and I'm politely but steadily ignoring all my mother's suggestions for who else could walk with me. I'll have my 3 bridesmaids and they are all I want and need.
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  • Michelle
    VIP July 2024 Cheshire
    Michelle ·
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    If its not what you want then dont you could have him wait at the end by h2b but on the other said x💗 at least he will see you still x
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  • Sam
    Curious December 2023 Essex
    Sam ·
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    I'm a big advocate for 'you do you' but see your dilemma. Have you spoken to your dad 1-1? He might not be overly bothered if he knows your thoughts. Alternatively you may change your mind if you find out its really important to him x
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  • G
    Curious October 2022 North Yorkshire
    Georgie ·
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    I second the idea of speaking with your Dad about the matter. Open the conversation though by saying something like:


    “I’ve decided to walk my self down the aisle. I know that traditionally you would do it, but I feel it’s right that I do it myself. Having said that, I really want you to play a part in the day. Is there anything you’d like to do?”
    Speak to him, but own what you want from the start. Maybe you could have a dedicated dance with him at the evening reception?
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  • Ostira
    Dedicated October 2023 Durham
    Ostira ·
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    It’s not selfish as it’s your day, you could always include your dad in another sense? I will personally be walking myself down the aisle as we’re eloping but my sisters also walked down the aisle themselves as they were 25 and 37 when they married and felt like they also didn’t want to be given away.
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  • L
    Savvy August 2022 North Yorkshire
    Lee-Anne ·
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    Im walking down the aisle on my own.. my dad's invited but whether he comes or not is a different matter. And I'm not overly close with my mum. I asked my son but he doesn't want the pressure so I'll walk on my own.
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  • Anonbride
    Expert July 2023 Cornwall
    Anonbride ·
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    How would you feel about your dad still doing the traditional father of the bride speech?

    That way you can say that you don't like the notion of being "given away" so would prefer to walk alone, but that you still want him to have a traditional role in giving the speech?

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  • S
    Curious May 2024 West Yorkshire
    Samantha ·
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    Definitely not selfish at all! I say speak to him, you may be suprised at the answer because he will also want you, to do what you want. xx

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  • L
    North London
    Lily ·
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    I’d recommend you walking down the aisle yourself but assigning the first speech to him. Thy way he’ll still feel included but it allows you to be independent too
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  • W
    East London
    Watergirl ·
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    I didn't like the idea of being "given away" but we used a European tradition instead to include our parents and not hurt my dad. My husband walked down first with his dad (would have been his mum but she couldn't be there) and then I did with my dad. That way, it wasn't so sexist.

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