Wedding etiquette for a bride of 42..?!

Hi and welcome

I will be 44 and my OH 43 when we marry next year.

This is both our 2nd marriages and this time we are having everything we want.

My 1st wedding was very similar to yours but this is my dream wedding...

I would say go for it girl!!

Hi

I am getting married in August 2013, and I will be 46. I too am divorced and have 2 kids who are grown up now and daughter will be 1 of my 4 bridesmaids and son will give me away. I am wearing ivory and we are getting married in greece followed by a Uk reception when we get back.

My OH is also younger than me, he will be 39 and like you this is the first time I have found real love, so please dont let you age or the fact that you have kids and are divorced put you off having the perfect day for you and your oh. None of that matters to my mind, celebrate the fact that you have found your perfect man and why shouldnt you shout about it! I'm certainly going to!

I hope you both have a wonderful day

Sorry... and to add

a) I'm old. FACT

b) I have 3 grown up children and they are all "up for it"

c) I too have been married before

Just to add as a footnote, I'm wearing white, with a veil and a tiara! lol.

Do whatever you and your fiance want to do! This is your day and hell if its second time round really go for it and get everything the way you both want it! Have an amazing day wear white if you want, have as many bridesmaids as you want and dont let anyone tell you otherwise! xxxx

A wedding is a celebration of love and a open committment to each other - therefore in my eyes, the wedding should be how you want it. Don't think that just because this is your second marriage, you shouldn't have the works. Have whatever you want to make it your special day (budget allowing of course!).

Why should a 2nd time bride be any different to a first timer? Why should a 42 year old bride be any different from a 22 year old?

Don't be so daft woman, have the wedding you want and throw the stuffy old ettiquette book out the window!

(For the record - 38, 2nd time bride, red dress, completely non-traditional wedding)

Im a second time bride, and have 2 children. I will be 31 and by h2b will 43.

I agree with the others it may be your second marriage but its your first time with your h2b, so do what you want and stuff what others thing

Whether you're 22, 42, 62 or 82, makes no difference to etiquette as far as I'm concerned.

Make it the day you and your partner want, and stuff what anyone else thinks.

Thank you everyone for all your input.. You're all really lovely and have made me feel loads better about it! Going off to pay the deposit on the hotel tonight so will be planning away.. confidently!!

Please do stay in touch. I'd love to hear any news or see any photos of you other second-time-arounders!!

Love Bee xx

Dear Bee,

We married in June. I am 53 and my husband 45. I wore an ivory dress and a big veil and I felt as happy and as bridal as I possibly could. But I did have the same concerns as you about looking somehow foolish or "Miss Havisham-y". I think I got away with it - and I did feel like a bride, which was really important to me (and to him!). The problem as I see it is that many outfits are geared at the 20 something market (naturally) and it's not easy to find something that is both appropriate and lovely. "Fashion" suggests a beige suit. No thanks!!

I say you must have what you really want - what makes you feel beautiful - and to hell with convention!

(See avatar for picture)

Hi

How strange are you me?? You are not alone, I will be 40 when I get married next June, I have a child from my previous marriage and it is also our 2nd marriage too, we have been together for 3 years and my fiance is also from Australia!!

My first wedding was small and abroad so this time round we are having the wedding I dreamed of, nothing huge just 50 in the day and approx 90 in the evening. I was happy for a hotel wedding but we decided to go for the manor house wedding more so for OH's Ozzy family to experience an English country wedding. They do things a bit different over there and were stunned when I told them we start early and go all day and have a meal and evening buffet! They can't wait.

Anyway I am rambling, I say go for what you want wear the dress you love, and have your dream day!

Hi, there!

As I was reading I had to jump out of my skin nearly at every line, and like someone else here has said, ARE YOU ME???

I am 38 and my OH is 30 (will be 31 by the time of the wedding). I too, am at my second marriage and he is at his first. I too had a rather low-key first wedding (although a Church one) followed by a buffet at my ex-mother-in-law's house. We divorced after 11 years. Exactly like you, this time it feels for real, and I have honestly treated it as my first wedding. I am wearing an ivory bridal gown (below pic) and a tiara (no veil), and we're having a civil ceremony at a Stately Home, followed by a reception at the same venue. I am also getting married in Winter! (I gather you are too, from what you said about your OH's family looking forward to an English winter wedding).

Just have the wedding you want and forget about "the done thing". It's all about the vows, you two and not what people will think... Good luck and flash us some pics of your preps! xxx

This is hilarious.. We're sort of going halfway, as our hotel is Victorian so sort of befits the English Country House. You are right, they do things very differently indeed. I'd be really interested to hear how your planning goes and whether you are keeping it totally english, or adding Aussie finishing touches here and there. My Aussie h2b is insisting on wearing a kilt *sigh*.. that's about all his input at the moment, other than being concerned about the size of the bar !!! Joking.. well almost.. Does your fiance play cricket too??! lol..

We are having our wedding in November (2012) so that his nieces and nephew can come over during their summer holidays and make a longer break of it. They are looking at renting a large house during their stay and maybe doing some European travelling too. they are SO excited and happy for us, despite my initial fears, age gap, children etc. It's lovely because it's rubbing off onto me too.

Lots of luck with all your plans.. Love to hear form you again !!

Bee xx

Weirder and weirder!!! The only thing missing is the Aussie element.. lol.

This is all so refreshing, thank you. I think I've just been looking at wedding magazines, thinking that most of the Real Life Weddings are about younger brides, in the main, and never mention anything about 2nd marriages or even children.. Perhaps I'm wrong. Maybe this needs more representation!!?

Your dress is gorgeous, and I love the celtic features. Is that your theme? I'm trying to avoid the usual snowflake and Christmas sort of theme.. I'm aiming for more of a rustic theme, cinnamon and fircones type thing. But I'm so confused by it all at the moment.. So much is floating around my brain right now. Once the summer hols are over, we will sit down and begin to make a proper plan.

Again, please stay in touch. All the best..

Bee xx

Absolutely. My b2b and I will be 38/39 when we get married next month, and you're so right that so much wedding related stuff is geared towards young'uns in their 20's getting married, and almost pretending that us older types don't exist or don't have the right to get married! So many of the dresses are fine on younger brides but look wrong on the more mature figure - and don't even get me started on stick-thin models v real models.

I suppose magazines etc can't print stuff if people don't send it in, rather than a conscious decision not to feature older couples, so there's only one way we can figure that out I guess.

Having said that, we haven't actually bought one wedding magazine, we've done everything either from googling or asking on Hitched, so I haven't actually seen a 'real wedding report in a magazine' but it really doesn't surprise me that we aren't featured much.

Oooohh..

Thinking there might be a market niche here somewhere??!! And strictly NO BEIGE!! ?

Hi again - another similarity: we didn't want the typical winter theme either and ours is rustic too, but as in Narnia meets Winter Woodland (see below). We love the outdoors, and my OH is a nature and wildlife photographer so it just fits with us:

No Australian twist but still a foreign twist: I am originally from Romania and have lived in the UK since 1995.

Wow!! Amazing.. Such beautiful choices! I love all your photos, and it does seem to suit you both! You certainly seem to be organised.

The best thing about 'rustic' apart from being very natural, is the low cost .. Are you hoping for a smattering of snow?! Our Aussie rellies are, which worries me slightly as cancelled flights won't be so quaint..

I'm still getting the hang of using these websites - how/where did you upload your photos and ideas..

Thanks.

xx

Beehunnee70 - I use the "film strip" icon here when I type my reply - brings up a window which allows you to upload a picture. A word of warning though: this forum is fully searchable on Goggle and many a time I found when searching on Google for "winter wedding" my own pictures LOL! Which is not exactly good as I am trying to keep it secret from the guests.

Another thing, again: yes, cost was one thing as the cones are all hand-picked by us with OH's parents who live in Sctoland and took us to Culbin Forest near Inverness, where there's a large forest of conifers, including some Scot's pines and other huge cone-making trees. And yes, flights worry me too as my Mum will be coming from Romania, and we have other few guests from USA and Norway.But we ARE hoping for some snow for the pictures!

No cricket but he plays a lot of golf!!

We were thinking of having Australian names of towns for table names as there are some funny sounding ones my favourite being Woollomooloo (sp)? but I may stick to numbers. So far the response from Australia is good and we are expecting a few of his family and friends to join us and then go off to Europe travelling afterwards. We are a June wedding but are having curly willow branches and orchids instead of floral centrepieces as I love willow and can keep it to use as decor in the house and give away afterwards.