Wedding Gifts - Asking for Dollars for Honeymoon

Now I'm really surprised.

You'd prioritise a honeymoon (which, since everyone appears to have been living togetherr for some length of time is really no more than a holiday at a special time of your life) over buying clothes for your children?????

?

Can't afford it? Don't have it.

I may have to leave this thread before I really say what I think!

Custard - You dont know me so dont judge me, my daughter doesnt EVER go without - hense us asking for money as a gift - so that she doesnt go without! Me and my partner both work very hard, she leads a good life with lots of family time and days out all together!!

And can i just add that I didnt start this thread to ask for anyones opinion on asking for money as a gift, the actual point to the thred was to ask HOW to ask - if you dont believe in asking for money then thats your opinion, I would personally like something that I would find useful. You dont find it useful asking for money, fair enough. But everyone is different

Jeeez, I didnt think this topic would be so contraversal, I was only asking for a poem to put on the invites!

Ok How to ask?

However you like. Those that will, will give. Those that find it not to their taste won't. So it matters not one iota.

well said

Were having a honeymoon in America, not sure if were guna ask in the invites yet or not mention it at all, but I definitely wouldn't do a cheesy poem. A polite sentence is better. Not quite sure what though.

I think AC is right, ask however you like.

you can go down the route of asking for a poem but i thought in the op you said you didnt want a poem.

you can write a simple line - we have a house full of wonderful items so we are therefore not having a gift list

- your company is all we could ever ask for from you but if you wished to give us a gift, a little contribution towards our honeymoon would be amazing.

I think that erinm and OP should not be making personally attacks on AC, she is merely giving her opinion on the topic and as this is a forum you should be prepared for opinions that you might not like.

Op one of your comments about it not being a case of not being able to afford it without effecting your child well clearly it is effecting her. why would you want go go away without her, surely if you didnt want it not to effect her than you would of chose a holiday which she could of come along with you both.

Zoomo, I dont agree with taking a child on your honeymoon. Sorry I dont, but we are going for 3 nights and she has a bunch of caring and adoring family members who are more than excited to watch her whilst we go.

However I do like the simple line regarding a little contribution to our honeymoon.

I never made any personal attacks may I point out, I was the one being accused of basically neglecting my child to go to New York, Which may I re-itterate IS NOT nor is it EVER going to happen! Just thought I would say my peice, because I would like to know how in all of this I look like a bad person for asking for money towards New York?

How very grown up!

it was well said, i agreed with OP post thats all. I thought we were all entitled to our opinion in a forum, thats what i keep reading anyway. Blimey this thread is getting a bit heated! im off

Quite simply, because some posters think it's bad form to ask for money in an invitation.

I don't mean to sound blunt, it's just it's a fairly straightforward answer!

ETA: although I would say that when posters with similar queries use phrases like "Why should I fill up my house with ornaments?" and "I'd be put out to receive useless gifts", it doesn't really help the case much.

Ahem, Mrs Custard if you don't mind.

We were hoping for money as gifts to put towards our honeymoon as well but deciding against writing anything in the invitations. A few people asked us or our parents what we would like as there was no gift list but most either just gave us cash or vouchers and we got a few lovely gifts as well. This included 3 sets of Mr & Mrs mugs which I was pleased with as they were all different and I love a cup of tea, I wouldn't be so ungrateful to think of them as useless tat.

Nobody's saying that you're not a good mother - I'm sure you are, it's just a question of priorities (and by the way, I agree with you that a honeymoon is for the couple, not for kids).

Imagine half of your guests are of the same view as some of the people who've posted on here and decide that they'd rather not give money, despite your request, and they give you Debenhams vouchers, or a physical gift. Then what will you do? Have you booked your honeymoon on the basis that you hope to get £X worth of wedding money and if you don't, your daughter will have to go without trips out so you can make up the shortfall?

At the risk of sounding a bit like I’m doing a Jerry Springer’s final thoughts-type thing, I think all these comments show that you can’t please everyone – some think it’s rude to ask for money, I think it’s cheeky to ask for gifts when you’re already shacked up, and some think that not asking is the best route to go down.

FWIW, I probably won’t put any requests in mine (a lot of our guests are coming from Australia or travelling a long way and I would hate for them to think we expected a gift when they’ve already paid so much to attend (to clarify, I don’t expect gifts or money from any guest, but especially not when this kind of effort is involved)). However, when I said this to a friend, she said that she would find no info about gifts annoying, as she would then feel she had to contact the bride and groom to see what they wanted. There’s no way to know what your guests reactions will be to any request (or lack of it), so all you can do is be polite if you do make them and don’t expect anything, money or gifts. Ultimately, if people don’t like it, they’ll give nothing, or give you whatever they deem appropriate.

I guess it’s just one of those ‘different strokes for different folks’ type things (apologies for the cheesy line)!

money poems are a whole other ballgame. Dont EVER put one of those in a card no matter what you do!

I understand that you are asking how to ask rather than whether to or not, however, I feel you are missing the point in what some people are saying. In not asking, you are not running the risk of offending anyone and you are most likely to receive money (the thing you are asking for).

Because anyway you ask, lets face it, is slightly rude. Even in cultures where giving money the norm, asking for it is likely to offend. The fact you have to carefully consider how to word the request suggests that , on some level, even you recognise that it could be viewed as rude.

We didn't ask for anything in our invites- not one word about gifts. By far, most people gave us money. And we got some lovely gifts. We didn't get any tat or toasters. People knew we had lived together for a long while and most of our guests had been to our house so knew what we had and what kind of thing we liked. And I don't think our experience is unusual.

WSS

I think perhaps as brides/ OMs on a website we slightly over think these things. Tbh I like most ppl I know open the invite, rsvp, 2 weeks before wedding think "Crap, what did they want? This wedding has crept on me". Hunt out the invite and respond accrordingly. Never thought much about whether vouchers, money, or gifts were requested. Plus not thought about whether the request was in verse or normal phrases. Basically, what I am saying is that yes some ppl might care what you put. You cant please everyone. But lots of ppl will be too caught up in their life to actually care that much what you asked for. xx

Beautifully put Hayse. I ❤️ you!

I hate giving cash as a wedding gift, though having said that at least you know it will be spent on the honeymoon if it is a different currency. That's less offensive to me than handing over 50 quid that will probably be spent on the weekly shop/new clothes/booze/fags or whatever else people spend money on day to day.

We put a gift list in our invitations, but we genuinely needed to set up our whole house, so it was full of items like kettle/toaster/cutlery/towels/pans and a load of other housey type items. Most bought off it (we had items from £5 to about £50), some gave their own gift, others have cash, and a few gave vouchers from the gift list store.

Everyone is different, you just have to do whatever you feel would be best for your guests. But money poems are a big no-no.

I think in this day and age it is perfectly acceptable to request money as a wedding gift - just as acceptable as a gift list. I don't see why anyone should be offended....they don't HAVE to give you money if they don't want to. They are being given the opportunity to share in one of the most wonderful days of your life and that should be the focus. Your guests are inevitably people who love and care about you and if money towards your honeymoon is going to bring you happiness and lovely memories then why should that upset them. I know my friends and family would take great pleasure in contributing to something that we would remember for a lifetime. But that's just my opinion. I hope you have a fantastic time in New York x