Wedding guests unhappy about not being able to bring partners/babies

Hi, I’m sorry you are having to deal with ungrateful/frustrating guests. People forget how difficult it is to sort out a wedding and just think about themselves not the bride and groom!


Try not to let it get to you, if people choose not to come off the back of it that’s their loss and their choice no reason for you to feel bad. If you get any further queries just a simple reply to say that you have set your guest list so there is no space for additional guests, remember you don’t have to justify anything to anyone x

Your experience sounds just like mine.
We’ve only got 50 guests (though ours was due to covid restrictions as 50 was easier to cut to 30 😂)
I haven’t invited any of my friends partners or children. Our family invites we’re kept to a minimum so no extended or children/partners unless married. We had a few people moan and some have said they aren’t coming, but it’s good cause those spaces have gone to people who we couldn’t fit on the list to start with. It’s your day and you have who you want there, if they don’t like it then tough. If anyone says to you then just explain you can’t have more and the guest list is finalised. Don’t feel bad or guilty. Your going to have a magical day ❤️

I know how you feel! We are also trying to keep ours small and most people a) understand and b) have congratulated us/ been grateful for the invite but a couple of people have just moaned (mainly about people we aren’t inviting) and it doesn’t exactly inspire us to be accommodating or particularly nice to them! x

Thanks everyone it's so stressful isn't it! Sounds like this is a more common issue than I thought... I think people also don't understand that if you invite one partner-you-haven't-met then there's usually a few others in that category too and in order for it to be fair, you should probably invite them too. And it goes even further, because I then I'd feel bad that there are some friends I've not invited at all 'because it's a small wedding', but then there's people there we don't know at all.

I am not really in the same situation as we are having 80 to the day so it’s not that small but it does grate on me that we “have” to invite my two fiancé’s brothers and families and his sister and I’ve never even met the sister! I’ve only met the brothers once and never met one wife! They don’t bother with him and he spends much more time with my family. My parents are paying for most of the wedding so I feel bad they are spending money on his lot who we barely know! So I feel your annoyance in a similar way as people do not understand how much weddings can cost!

I mean my fiancé’s two brothers! Not that I have two fiancé’s!!! Lol

We also had the same issue and the thing which annoyed me the most was that people didn't even come to us to moan, they went to my mother in law to be who basically told me I had to invite them. The people in question I didn't even know existed let alone had ever met, I stood my ground and I am glad I did as other family members have now come out and said thank god you didn't invite them we don't like them! It really has got me how ungrateful and rude people are, we have one month to go today until our wedding and I have now taken the approach, if you don't like it don't come! Good luck with your big day x

Stick with what you want. There is an option on the invitation to RSVP no if they really can't go to one event without their partner/child and frankly, I find it pretty distasteful for anyone to ask if they can bring someone else or moan about who is invited. They wouldn't ring you on any other day and ask you to take their partner out for dinner and pay for it would they?!

Our wedding was 30 people allowed and that included me and my husband because of the restrictions. We had 46 people confirm attendance, made arrangements to have 6 children be involved in the ceremony as ring bearers flower girl and page boys then we had to change our guest list in order to reduce from 46 to 28 yes 28! We decided that the only way we could do this was uninvite ALL children plus ones and aunts and uncles.


It was heartbreaking to have to do it but we did it because we had already postponed the once to try and accommodate numbers and decided that we just wanted to start our lives as husband and wife and that people would understand which most did.
My brother decided to disown me because I had bridesmaids there over his wife, he was at a table he didn't want to sit at, and because I didn't choose my biological dad to walk me down the aisle.
We've been married for two months nearly and next week at my sister's wedding will be the first time we would've seen eachother since our wedding.
I decided that people say you can't please everyone when it comes to weddings and they're right, so do what we did focus on yourself and fiancé because at the end of the day it's your day not theirs.

Hello


Oh my days, sending full sympathies. It's really hard
We're having a small wedding (57 max) and we made the decision not to invite plus ones or children. The only exceptions were if the plus one would also have received an independent invite or if the children were still nursing. Our venue space can't hold more than 57 so even if we wanted to bend to pressure we can't - and that's been really helpful!
It's not without its share of anxiety inducement and there were a couple of "my husband isn't invited?" comments so I've gently reminded them of their own stresses when they planned their weddings and also reassured them that they are invited because we'd like them there but if they don't want to come that's also fine. Oddly I think people hadn't thought a "no" RSVP would be accepted and we'd perhaps just add the plus one on to ensure we got a "yes".
Also unexpectedly, so many of our friends who wouldn't have known who to bring if they'd had a plus one invite have expressed sheer joy at not feeling the societal pressure to be part of a two! So, we also have a lot of happier guests.
In the main everyone has been fab and everytime we look at our budget spreadsheet I'm reminded of why I'm sticking to my goals!
So, stand firm, an invitation to your wedding is a gift not a right and I hope you have a magical day! Xx

You have to do what's right for you, it's YOUR day, not theirs.

We've excluded all children, mostly because we don't know most of them, they take up a seat and I don't want my wedding becoming a children's party. That includes close family and friends too.

We've also had to say no to partners we don't know due to capacity, if having those people there means I can't have actual friends, then I'm sorry, deal with it or say you can't come. You have to be a little ruthless and not panic about it.

As you said, if they think their needs are more important than your wishes on your wedding day, what kind of friend are they? We've used the excuse of capacity and venue rules. softened with a if we do get a space closer to the time then of course your partner can come, but then that's up to you.

Hope all goes well, rest well in your decisions.... it's about you two.

Totally agree with what Ian said its your day not anyone else's. Good luck x💗