Wedding Planning with your Partner

Pretty much I'm afraid, certainly for me. I don't mind all the searching but there r certain decisions u need to make together and it feels like ur nagging them to make one and they don't appreciate there is a time limit! He is being fairly chilled but that's just because I'm getting on with things. Pick ur moments for asking about things. Good luck

View quoted message Thank you very much for responding Yes, similar with me too. I will do! Thank you x

I did most of the research an planning but he has always been involved in the final decisions and has come with me to venues and food tasting. If it is getting to you then i really think you need to talk to him and tell him you feel he is not involving himself and you are worried, you want to plan your day together and he is happy so is there a reason why he is not as engaging? It may be a tough discussion but you need to be doing this together, listen to his concerns and work together to plan your prefect day

I’ve done most of it. Found a few options and then discussed with the mr which he liked. My oh is really easy going so has left me to it. It’s really frustrating when you want an opinion but other than that I’m quite happy to get my teeth into sorting everything. My ex was a chuffing nightmare and would argue against everything I picked so it’s really nice to get my way 🤣

My fiancé is exactly the same! He comes with me for things like looking at venues etc but he has absolutely no interest in researching or making decisions at all. I am fairly sure that the most involvement he will have will be just turning up on the day! Don’t worry about it, but do talk about it with him if it is upsetting you.0

Totally normal but we do a better job at planning than they do x💗Dont let it put you down x

I think it's a mixed bag and depends on couple dynamics and what people want (there are plenty of ladies who would prefer to lead on everything!). My fiancé and I have done absolutely everything together but we are both diligent planners and don't like delegating!
If you want yours to get more involved, perhaps give him a project to lead on, something he will likely care a bit more about? E.g he might not be bothered about the flowers, but why not ask him to research and come up with a shortlist of bands you can pick together or something? Give him a suggested deadline to help.

View quoted message Project management- I love it!

Agree with everyone saying that you need to have a chat if it really is bothering you! I think i'm the opposite to most couples in that it's me that would happily have no fuss (probably elope) but it's my other half who wants the big party so he's pretty involved in all the decision making. (I'm just trying to control the money!!).

It may be he really just wants you to be happy and have the day exactly how you want so doesn't want to be too involved too much? It is difficult though as I think blokes generally have very different priorities!

It varies - I know men who have been fully involved in wedding planning (my own OH was) and others who are just 'let me know what I need to wear and when & where I turn up. The important thing is that both partners are happy with the division of labour.

Is your OH the kind who would be happy to just turn up to a registry office and go home again? If you are wanting a more elaborate wedding than he is, it's understandable that he doesn't want to put effort into planning something that he doesn't want, so maybe ask him to have input in a small area and leave the rest to you. But if you both want the same scale of wedding (or he wants it more than you do) then he should be pulling his weight in the preparation.

Whatever his reasons for not wanting to be involved, you do need to have a conversation about it - this won't be the last time you have a difference of opinion/outlook, and being able to communicate concerns well is key to having a lasting relationship, so no better time to start!

FINALLY there is a use for all of those spam post selling magic spells, maybe there is one that makes your bloke more interested in the planning.

Giving him a task that he may enjoy is a good idea, I usually find that some are given the task of shortlisting and info gathering on cars or the photography and the lads suits.

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"FINALLY there is a use for all of those spam post selling magic spells, maybe there is one that makes your bloke more interested in the planning."

Mines been pretty good, we both had a lot of input into the important things such as venue, menu and music. The prettier side of things such as flowers, decorations are down to me.

I'm doing most of the planning but he will make the final decisions such as Venue, DJ, Food etc. Other bits he is less interested in like invites etc. Maybe just talk to him - you may find he doesn't care about all the little bits x

My partner has had an opinion on most things, and before we got engaged he had researched a few venues he thought I’d like. This is all well and good until they have a strong opinion on something you disagree with! Haha. I think it all depends on the couple to be honest and whatever you’re happy with, so if you’re not happy planning everything maybe you could talk to him.

I'm the one doing all the leg work but I'm naturally quite organised and he knows I'm more comfortable doing it all. He has been involved in it all though and he's genuinely interested and helps with ideas. He's arranged his friend to DJ for free so he's doing his bit. I think its natural for us women to enjoy getting stuck in with the planning, but I wouldn't be impressed if my partner had no interest in any of it! Kick him up the bum 💪🏻

My fiancé set the budget for the wedding and then decided to book a viewing at a venue that was over that budget..... we both fell in love with it and now its our venue! Since then I have not allowed him to look for things because he can't be trusted to be sensible. I search for things and make a list of the suppliers I would like, then I let him decide which one to go with. tbh I don't think he is very bothered about the rest anyways except the cake and menu tasting so I am basically sorting the rest on my own. I actually don't mind though, he shows a good enough interest in everything except flowers and venue decor so my MOH is helping me out with opinions on that.

Maybe ask why he isn't helping out more and let him know it's bothering you. Perhaps use bridesmaids for advice if he isn't bothered about the small things

This is my partner to a t.. I've resorted to asking my brother in law for help because whenever I broach the subject he grunts or runs off

View quoted message I would have happily eloped but my partner said if we're doing this, he would like it to be a big party! Anyway, I'm now really excited about what we are having and have done a lot of the planning and plenty of Pinterest searching. We have sat down together and planned guests, photographer and bands. He's not so interested when it comes to how things look haha. He's been great getting the land ready though as we're putting a marquee on family land. Hope you manage to enjoy the big party.

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Thanks Hayley, we're doing the same with a marquee in a field. It's a lot to think about isn't it!!

I go from 'it's going to be such an amazing day it'll work out fine' to 'oh my god there's so much to do it's going to be a disaster' on a daily basis!

I'm an organiser by nature and my DP has got a bit put out a couple of times that he thinks he's not being much help, so I've handed over suits and music entirely to him. He's also actively been involved in discussion about everything else after I've gone off and done the initial research. He did pick me up on saying 'these are my ideas for....' at one stage, so I asked him exactly what his vision for the table decor was and that he was welcome to share. He hasn't piped up since

View quoted message Oh yes, me too! I think it's natural to have these worries but it is perhaps more pressure when you're DIYing and not got an "expert" to discuss with.