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Anonbride
Expert July 2023 Cornwall

What do you think of these as wedding party gifts?

Anonbride, 22 of April of 2022 at 11:29 Posted on Etiquette and Advice 0 11

My side of the wedding party (Team Bride) is split between guys and girls - I want them all to feel as important as each other.

Officiant and Ushers: Three guys who are straight and not while they're not "blokey" they are more typically guy-ish.

Bridesmaids/MOH: Two girls who are pretty stereotypically girly. One guy who is gay and quite feminine, likes to be treated like one of the girls, doesn't wear dresses but does wear necklaces and sometimes more 'masculine' cut women's jeans and jackets, gets his nails done, etc.

Wedding is on the beach in my favourite place, Cornwall, so very much a seaside theme.


Thinking I'll get the guys a nice holdall from a company I really like - they are really unique and coastal looking as they are made out of sailcloth, I have one myself and they are sturdy and great, I already know at least one of the guys would like definitely one. About £80. I'd pop a bottle of their favourite booze in each too.

For the bridemaids group I spotted a nice summery robe in a quite fancy shop the other day. It's turquoise (the bridesmaid colour) with some pretty pink and white flowers. Think it's one size so hopefully would fit the two girls and the guy. It's about £50. I've also found a few potential necklaces with a wave pendants on etsy that come in silver or gold so I'd get one for each of them in their preferred jewellery colour. About £30-£40. I'd probably also get myself the robe and necklace so we could also all wear them on the day as well, and thinking I might get my mum one of the necklaces too.


What do you think? Does that sound like an appropriate level of gift? Is it enough? Too much? I'm trying to avoid anything that's emblazoned with the date or 'bridesmaid' so they can wear/use again, but that still feels cohesive to the wedding theme so it's a nice memory for everyone rather than something they might have got for a birthday or something. I'm debating buying these this year even though the wedding is next year just to spread out my costs a bit... again, interested to here thoughts on that as an idea, I'm very much in the dark with what's the done thing with this!

Also, when do you give the gifts? On the day, day before, at the hen, some other time...?

11 replies

Latest activity by Michelle, 25 of April of 2022 at 17:38
  • Charlotte
    VIP April 2022 Wiltshire
    Charlotte ·
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    As always Chloe, you are so generous! They sound lovely and if you can afford it then go with it. I am the same as you, dont like all the personalised stuff with dates etc. We have got the blokes wodden sunglasses which H2B will give them on the morning of the wedding, as we hope it will be sunny! they are only £20 on Etsy and you can have their name on them but also come in a nice box. For the girls I have got a compact mirror in their dress colour with their name on and some cute candles, which do have their name and role on but not over the top, again all from Etsy! the kids have a £25 gift voucher for Smyths toys as they can then pick what they want.

    Traditionally your groom would give the gifts out when he does his speech, but is really up to you, as i said the men will have theirs earlier so they can make use of them.

    If you are sure on them I would also buy now as you say so can spread the cost a bit

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  • Anonbride
    Expert July 2023 Cornwall
    Anonbride ·
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    Aww thanks Charlotte Smiley heart I honestly have no idea what the going rate is for this sort of thing but want to try to treat them as they've all been such wonderful friends over the years. We've decided not to do table favours so saving some budget there but it will add up so that's why I'm debating buying now.

    Your ideas are lovely! You must be getting so close to your big day now?!

    I didn't know that about the groom giving the gifts during the speech tradition. I think I'd want all of mine to have theirs in advance, as the bridesmaids will (hopefully!) want to use them on the day and I reckon it would be odd to see some people get gifts as part of the speech but not others...

    I suppose changing my mind on them is the risk in buying them now... but I guess that's the case with so many wedding-y things that need to be chosen in advance!

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  • Charlotte
    VIP April 2022 Wiltshire
    Charlotte ·
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    I am sooooo not traditional, as far as I am concerned it is your day so you do what you want! I agree, give them befiore so you can use them in the morning and will be nice pics of you all getting ready. i agree about changing your mind, but i dont think you will nad they are such thoughtful gifts so i would do it.

    We are so close, a week tomorrow!! I am quite calm most of the time, except at 3am when I wake up thinking if random things i may have forgot! As Ryan keeps saying, we have us, clothes, food and drink so anything else is not a big issue, and he is right, i am not stressing over the tiny details anyomre as it really does not matter! I finish work today so hopefully i will be able to relax a bit next week and chil out XX

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  • Michelle
    VIP July 2024 Cheshire
    Michelle ·
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    You have out done yourself again these are such thoughtful gifts that will mean alot and get used also x💗
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  • Charlotte
    Dedicated September 2023 Lincolnshire
    Charlotte ·
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    Oh wow, these gifts sound amazing!! As a bridesmaid I would certainly be very grateful to receive these 💖 I love the idea of the flowery robes rather than plain ones with bridesmaid on them.


    Great idea getting them this year! You’ve made me think maybe I’ll buy my bridesmaids gifts this year as there will be lots of balances to pay come next year!
    Personally, I think I’ll give the bridesmaids gifts the morning of the wedding but everyone does it differently so you could do it the night before or at your hen do, whatever is right for you xx
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  • Anonbride
    Expert July 2023 Cornwall
    Anonbride ·
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    Eee that's so exciting you're so close! I totally agree - enjoy being excited these final few days as you're both gonna be there so that's all that really matters Smiley heart

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  • Anonbride
    Expert July 2023 Cornwall
    Anonbride ·
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    Aww thank you - I'm glad you think so!

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  • Anonbride
    Expert July 2023 Cornwall
    Anonbride ·
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    Aww that's so nice of you to say, thank you! Smiley heart

    Exactly my thinking - I feel like this time next year I'm gonna feel like I'm haemorrhaging money paying off all the balances haha and I don't want that feeling to tempt me into deprioritising getting the wedding party something nice.

    Talking it though here I think night before or maybe at get together before everyone heads off down to the wedding might be the way to go... The guys may want to use their holdalls travelling down to Cornwall and the girls can then wear their robes for getting ready rather than changing out of one they might have brought down for themselves not realising I was going to gift them one.

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  • Michelle
    VIP July 2024 Cheshire
    Michelle ·
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    You have chosen somethin that is perfect i love this x any ideas for 18 year old daughter xx💗
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  • Anonbride
    Expert July 2023 Cornwall
    Anonbride ·
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    Hmm I think at 18 I’d be wanting the same gift as any of the friends your age who are bridesmaids because I think at that age you don’t want to be treated like a child but equally with the adults
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  • Michelle
    VIP July 2024 Cheshire
    Michelle ·
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    Yeah i know it just hard i put 18 she is 19 she is my best friend as well as my daughter if you get what i mean will have to have a good think xx💗 thanks
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